People in mid-life, to know these four social rules

01

Think seriously, why socialize?

There is a view that the motivation for a person to socialize is to build a relationship of interest, or to build a practical relationship for the future, people in socialization, is to use or be used as a tool, in addition to a group of lonely people, in a group for warmth.

When you are young, you can rely on your parents, your own solitary, it does not matter. If your parents are very capable, you can still live high on the hog.

When you reach middle age, no matter how good you are, you still need to find like-minded people. For the purpose of socializing, everyone is unspoken and outwardly friendly and amicable.

As the saying goes, "Success is also a failure." Socializing is a double-edged sword, you need to make full use of it and avoid the sharp edges, otherwise you will hurt yourself.

When you mix social years, you will know the following four social subtle rules.

02

First, the relatives are close, not by blood relations, but the strength of the person.

My mother had seven siblings and my father had four siblings. By my generation, there are more than thirty cousins. If we all sit around together and go do something, the strength is very strong

However, there are only one or two cousins that I really have a connection with. Perhaps, this is an incredible result. But when you think about it seriously, everyone has a different direction of development and different values, so why should they associate with you?

Relatives dating, the obvious phenomenon is - the tendency to follow the trend. Let's say a relative works in the system, or a handful of people like that. Most of the relatives will take the initiative to pay their respects to him, and some elders, when they open their mouths, will say his name, which is considered the "pride" of the extended family.

Everyone knows that if the family has something to do, to find the "hand" is certainly right, borrow his circle of contacts, you can do their own things.

In the red and white wedding, relatives gathering, is on the seniority, but in the usual interaction, is on the position, money. As the saying goes, rich in the mountains have distant relatives, poor in the downtown no one asked; do not believe and see the cup of wine, cup first to the rich.

There are relatives who are of high seniority, but whose families are very poor, and who speak at ordinary gatherings without weight.

The actual number of relatives, close or distant, depends on your ability and the halo on your head. If you are very down and out, do not easily ask for help from relatives, most likely to be disappointed.

03

Secondly, it is difficult to make friends with more friends, and everyone is mainly concerned about the interests.

One writer said, "True friends do not hang friendship on the mouth, they do not ask a little something from each other for friendship, but do everything for each other to do."

When you're lost, a friend helps you find a job, lends you some money, or stays with you to get back on your feet. A sincere friend can make you take a lot less detours, and will also make you feel the warmth of the community.

"More friends, not as good as a friend or two", this is the personal experience of many middle-aged people.

Friends gathered together, mostly for two purposes - to eat and drink, bragging, not drunk; to do a big thing, and then share the profits together. The first kind of friends, is a show, put down the glass, there is no emotion; the second kind of friends, will stay with you for a long time, but after the interests disappear, will still drift apart.

Let's say you are a person who does the clothing business, then you will make friends who do wholesale clothing, pulling together friends who buy clothes. When you exit the industry, before the friends made, naturally alienated, occasionally meet, perhaps even the name can not remember.

People who gather for the sake of interest will eventually be scattered because of the battle of interest. The reality is very solid, but to accept. After all, middle-aged people need to support their families and cannot simply talk about feelings.

04

Third, people in the workplace, colleagues while caring for each other, while hooking up.

Zhou Libo said, "The three laws of the workplace: either tolerate, or hard, or roll."

The workplace is a place for middle-aged people to make money, all colleagues are working hard and will cooperate with each other. Usually meet, will also greet each other, in the work group, chatting very happy.

If you look carefully, you will find that for people in the workplace, whether the social circle is large, whether it is very lively, is determined by the "location".

The supervisor sent out a circle of friends, and there will be a lot of people who like him; the supervisor spoke in the work group, and there are a lot of people who agree with him. What ordinary employees say, people will not care, and even make fun of him.

When position and income and connections are tightly linked together, everyone wants to be the one on top. In personnel matters, no one will be sloppy, will make every effort, even if it hurts the people around them, they do not care.

People in the workplace, to learn to play in the field, if you are too realistic or too kind, inevitably be kicked out of the circle.

05

Fourth, no matter who it is, it is best to eat at the hotel, do not party at home.

When we were young, we interacted with relatives and friends, most of us ate and drank together at home. Especially those born in rural areas, know it well.

When people reach middle age, we mostly go to the city. Home is not a large courtyard, but a few concrete enclosed houses. Relatively speaking, home is a private place, can not just let outsiders enter.

No matter who you interact with, it is best to eat at a hotel. If there is no important matter, everyone in the street, find a teahouse to sit down and talk it out.

Inviting people over for dinner is a hassle to cook on the one hand, and it affects the harmony of the family on the other.

It is important for people to adopt the right social style when they reach middle age. The topics of inviting people to dinner, giving gifts and chatting should be filtered.

06

Conclusion.

"Knowing that there is a tiger in the mountain, you will go to the tiger mountain". When people reach middle age, relatives, friends and colleagues, are the people who have the most contact and cannot be avoided. If a little use, you can form a synergy, together to do something; if you just blindly please, you will lose yourself, or be used by them, become the back of the people.

Nan Huaijin said, "The path of life is unpredictable, and none of us can predict our future, but one's behavior can change one's luck to a great extent."

When people reach middle age and want to meet the right companion, don't blindly go to the hustle and bustle, but try to change yourself.

Your value is the root of socialization.