Peer Pressure

Now, I learned about reverse psychology when I was in grade 3. My favorite teacher of all time, Mrs. Matechuk - it was Beacon Heights Elementary in Edmonton - she gave me the book, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer as a gift. She even delivered it to my house, as I was home from school with yellow jaundice. That was a fine day for me and it stands out as one of my favorite childhood memories. In that book, there’s a story of Tom having to whitewash a fence as a consequence for misbehaving. He cons a whole bunch of his friends into doing this chore for him by pretending that it was fun. They even trade him stuff for the privilege - smart. Now imagine if you will, poor, young Nivedan, surrounded by three older Tom Sawyers. They persuaded this hapless boy into doing something really idiotic, and crazy dangerous by telling him exactly that! Reverse psychology!

PEER PRESSURE

If you look carefully at the stitching you’ll see

My mom sewed this shirt back together for me

My red badge of courage - a reminder that I

dared laugh at danger

that I didn’t die

What’s up with them anyway? Doctors? EMT’S?

The first thing they do is cut you like cheese!

They brandish their scissors

they pant and they drool

And they make the things cold - just to be cruel!

It’s my toe! I exclaimed even though my neck hurt

I just didn’t want them cutting my shirt

You see, I ‘d gone back to get it put it on tucked it in

I looked in the mirror

and I couldn’t help grin

I look good, yes I do

But it’s no time to dally

My big brother and friends await in the alley

A super adventure attends just for me

On my first day of high school I’ll make history

Cause now I’m included, hey mommy wow

There’ll be no stopping me, I’m a real big boy now

I saluted the stud in the mirror and turned

My attention off me

my look now confirmed

I tried not to hurry as I passed our garage

And was ambushed by venomous verbal barrage

“The kid has no bike!?”

“What the what!?”

“What the hey!?”

Right there I thought that was the end of my day

Not so! For my brother’s friend, Matt, had a plan

"Hold my bike," he said. "I’ll be back quick as I can."

Matt took welding and auto in school

And wood shop and drafting

And he dressed pretty cool

And lickety split he was back just like that

With a contraption he made that we just had to stare at

Dr Seuss would be proud I thought (not out loud)

It was a something that would certainly stand out in a crowd

The forks fit the frame

sort of kind of - not really

The rusted out spokes said don’t try a wheelie

There was something up front where the handles should be

But I wasn’t quite sure why he welded on three

The seat was all crooked with stuff coming out

But it rolled just the same so I swallowed my doubt

Then he said THIS! Yes, he did! Matt, the jerk,

Said, “Don’t try to stop, cause the brakes - they don’t work!”

Then we rode down the alley, past the mall’s parking lot

All the way to the start of my Bro’s secret spot

“It’s way in behind there!” he said, calling to me

He flew into the forest through a path in the trees

but soon he was huffing and got off of his bike

The way was so steep we all had to hike.

I lugged my wheely doohickey as best as I could

All the way to the top of that mountainous wood

Which curved at the top and careened its way down

And I stopped and looked all around at the town

I felt pretty good

All manly and sweaty

whatever came next

I knew I’d be ready

I squinted my eyes as I looked down ahead.

Anyone who’d ride that would probly be dead

On my left was a cliff a sheer 200 feet

And death waited there

That’s who you would meet

On the right a bramble of bushes was lain

A particularly prickly thicket of pain

But right in the middle shone a pathway to glory

(I’ll leave out the bits from here on that get gory)

For there at the bottom a hole in a fence

That bisected the path and it seemed common sense

That no one would try to

no one would be so dense

No it was too steep too hard too intense

But there I was. ME! Right there on the brink

And I turned to Matt and I said, "Doncha think?

It would be SICK if I rode THIS down there?"

Well, he looked at me like he pretended to care

“You’re not wearing a helmet,” he sneered. No... he goaded!

So I aimed down the hill - like a gun that was loaded

My brother and what’s his face waited below

They had walked their bikes down carefully slow"

I yelled down to them same as I did to Matt

It’d be SICK if I rode down this pathway through that!"

Well, my brother faked a look that was almost aghast

As he yelled back to me, “No! You’ll go way too fast!”

But I swear as he did so he glanced an aside

At his buddy - and that aside?

It was snide!

Yes it it was and what’s more?

He yelled back up again

“Anyone one who tries that is an idiot - time ten!”

An idiot you say? Times ten - could it be?

That I am that guy? That idiot is me?

'Cause I knew what they meant underneath their disguise

Thinly veiled, I knew their warnings were lies

Why else would they bring me to this secret spot

If not just to see if it takes what I got?

Hell yeah, I do! I got what it takes!

I recalled, just too late, that I had no brakes

I zoomed and sped up and I let out a yelp

I Flintstoned my feet but that didn’t help

Whozzit was dancing a freaky distress

My brother’s voice broke His face was a mess

My brother was crying and yelling at me

As I zoomed down the hill I could suddenly see

that the warnings were real that they didn’t fake it

At that moment I realized I wouldn’t make it

Time stopped

And thank God! I needed to think

And I looked through that hole of jagged chain link

Nothing was there but a black hole of doom

Even if I squeezed through Even if there was room

Just a vacuum of air and the tops of some trees

I saw it all in a weird, three dimensional frieze

Like when you watch a movie and you get the notion

To slow it all down into super slow motion

Cliff of Death on my left

hole of death straight ahead

I think that I’ll do the bushes instead

So I leaned to the right

To the bramble of prickle

But Fate, as you know, is mischievous fickle

I just about made it, not quite, but almost

And time?

It sped up, just as I hit the post

The post of pure iron cemented in rock

And me? I was gone

In a world full of shock

A pretzel boy wrapped in bicycle paper

Who’d never live to tell of this caper

Somewhere in the dark a voice screamed at me

“Breathe! You must breathe!" But I couldn’t, you see

My mind yelled at me, "You will breathe. I have spoken!"

But my body could not

My body was broken

I was not fully grown I was not very big

My collarbone snapped right in half like a twig

Enter Matt and my bro and good ol’ whatshisface

They jump-started me carried me out of that place

Back up that preposterous, crazy steep hill

back down through the forest not stopping until

I woke up with that lunatic cutting at me

In Memorial Hospital, Surrey, BC

I’ve asked my big bro how they did it that day

He just gives me that look and then looks away

The fear

and the love

and the something or other

He feels for his stupid, lil’ idiot brother