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Outside Looking In

That one time I was invisible

By Carlos GuerraPublished 3 years ago 10 min read
2

Through out each persons life, there comes a time when they feel out of place. That overwhelming feeling of not fitting in somewhere... Those are the moments where it becomes a challenge for you not to stop and think about what is wrong with the person you are. Why are you being treated like a misfit? What is it about you that is keeping you from fitting in? This feeling can come from a group of people at your high school or simply from a location in general. Regardless of its source, feeling like you don't belong is a disappointing situation, well at least 80% of the time. I remember this one time I felt like I was invisible, by both the location I was at and the people at the location too. Few things have made me as uncomfortable as the moment I am about to share did. I mean the kind of uncomfortable feeling that I wouldn't want anyone to have to experience.

The year was 2015, I was 19 living in the city I call home Miami. Back than was what I would consider the peak of the experiences me and the group of friends I grew up with had together. Right after high school, all of us living together under one roof. We had a lot of wild times back in those days, not always positive but most were certainly memorable. One night we all decided to go to this concert the rapper Stitches was performing at. It was happening at a club right in the middle of downtown Miami so we knew for a fact it was gonna be lit. Which it absolutely was, In fact the vast majority of the night ended up being one of the greatest we'd ever had going out with the entire group together. I have to admit though, I was pretty banged up and I don't really drink alcohol that much so that wasn't the reason I was so faded. Towards the end of the night, I met this one chic (who's name I don't remember and probably never learned it at all) and she actually got me and my squad into the VIP section of the club on the second floor. She was really attractive and I was really fucked up, not the greatest combination to influence my decision making skills. As the party at the club was being brought to an end, she asked me if I wanted to leave with her. To which I probably agreed to faster than almost anything I've agreed to in my life. I remember my best friends girl friend, Lauren, asking me if I was positive about my choice because she wouldn't be turning back once she left. I assured her that I was completely positive that I was going to leave with this girl and she was good to go. For some reason, the moment Lauren turned around to leave, I got this uneasy feeling in my stomach that I may be making a mistake. However, in spite of the warning from my "spidey-senses", god gave men two heads and only enough blood to function one at a time; thus causing me to suppress the thought and meet back with my new lady friend. When I managed to track her down again, she now was with a group of friends of her own. For some reason it hadn't been until that moment that I realized the girl I had planned to leave with was at least half a decade older than I was. Her group of friends must have made it more noticeable I assume. The very second I realized the age difference between me and both that girl and her group of friends, that's when the feeling that I didn't fit in first began to take hold. Sadly, that feeling would only grow further and further as the rest of the night (and the following morning) went on.

The girl who's name I don't remember and I, along with her 3 friends, made our way outside. We hadn't even gotten 10 yards a way, when suddenly I realized the watch my best friend Ryan had lent me wasn't on my wrist anymore... Given the fact that it had belonged to his grand father who had recently passed away, I began to panic instantly. I told (Name Unknown) that I needed to run back inside for just a moment cause I might have left it at the bar. She reassured me that this was okay and so I turned around and bolted back into the club. After searching for several moments, I hadn't been able to find it and out of fear that I was taking to long inside, I decided to just give up and return to the girl. She had agreed to wait for me but when I got back outside again I couldn't find her anywhere. That's when my panic truly began to ensue. The girl who's name I didn't know, that invited me to leave with her, and that was half a decade older than me, she was gone and I was now in the middle of downtown Miami, at 5 am, alone.

Stuck in a state of disbelief, I began walking towards where Lauren had parked her car when we arrived earlier; I thought maybe I was lucky and she wasn't able to leave yet.

Nope... she definitely did leave and the spot where her car once sat was now vacant. Then I reached to pull out my cell phone but... as soon as I unlocked it and got about half way to where Lauren's number was in my contacts... the battery died. I was officially on my own, stranded on the other side of Miami. I sat down for a couple of seconds and asked to no one else but me how it was that I let myself end up in this situation. I felt extremely foolish about the whole thing and wished that I listened when both Lauren and my "spidey-senses" had attempted to warn me. Then after thinking about that question for a little bit, I decided that I needed to figure something out because sitting their on my ass would be the slowest way to get back home. So I began walking, with out the slightest Idea of where I was even headed. I remember passing a bum on the next block begging for change. I reached into my wallet,grabbed the only form of american currency I had left (a two dollar bill I held onto for luck) and gave it to him; as he grabbed it I told him that I hope it brought him better luck than it did for me. Before he was able to thank me, I continued walking in search of a way home.

A few blocks from the club I had been at, there was another one that appeared to still be in full swing, at least that's what the line of people waiting to be allowed entry made it look like. I made my way to the front entrance and got in line, I planned to ask someone to let me use their cell phone but this club looked so cool I decided to wait in line to see what it was like inside. After a while, I made it to the front of the line and thought that I'd be one of the next people allowed inside. The bouncer went to motion for the next to enter but then stopped when he saw me. He must stared at me crazy, like if I had just urinated on his leg or something, and skipped both me and the guy next to me, letting the people behind us in instead. The guy next to me beat me to the question and asked what the hell the problem was but the bouncer just ignored him. The bouncer then went to let a couple people inside for the second time and we were skipped for a second time. Giving up on being allowed in, I figured why not just ask to use a phone to call someone to pick me up. I asked the Bouncer if I could use his to make a quick call and, just like the guy behind me, I was ignored. That made me pretty upset, I could understand if the establishment had a strict dress code but him ignoring my request to use his phone in order to find a ride home... that was just him being a dick. Regardless, I stepped out of the line and started asking whoever I saw if they could let me use a phone to make a quick call to get home. It wasn't just the bouncer that ignored me, in fact, everyone did. The dancers who were leaving the club for the night ignored me, The club staff ignored me, the guests waiting to get in ignored me, and so did the ones who were on their way out. Like if I was some worthless trash that lived on the street, never in my life had I been made so uncomfortable by the way people looked at me. The few that did at least acknowledge me with their eyes that is because most of them walked by me without even a glance. I literally felt like I had somehow harnessed the power of invisibility. I had no business being there, I didn't fit in and not a single person had an issue letting me know it.

I had never really had any problems with my social skills before but that night really got to me and It had an effect on my self-confidence for a short while afterwards. Nobody should ever have to feel as if like they're some kind of outcast, not in this day in age. However, the truth is that someone has to deal with a situation similar to mine each and every passing day. I really wish we could all just learn to love and accept others, regardless of what they look like, what clothes they wear, whether or not they own a car, or any of the other bullshit people use to cast judgement on other people. Maybe some day in the future that will actually happen but for now we need to remember an important fact. If you just went through a situation where you felt or were made to feel like you didn't fit in, don't let it bother you more than it should... You know who you are and you shouldn't ever allow anyone else to cause you to question the person you are. If you do choose to change something about yourself do it for you not to please them.

As for how my story ended... well I did finally make it home the next day. A gas station allowed me to make a phone call with their landline and I immediately called Dalton, my best friend. He answered on my second attempt to call him and ordered me to sit tight until they arrived. Within the next hour they had reached where I was at and picked me up around 2 pm. Lauren asked me if I had been walking this entire time and I told her that I wasn't. I only had to walk for an hour thanks to someone I met shortly after leaving the club that was "too good for me". The person I finally managed to convince to help me out turned out to be an executive for the Miami Marlins Baseball team. He didn't just lend me his phone though, instead he told me to just go with him until I figured something out but that's a story for another time...

humanity
2

About the Creator

Carlos Guerra

Born on 09-07-95 in Miami, Florida.

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