Other people's attitudes towards you are what you allow

1.

Saw a post. A parent asked a question on the forum, the general situation is.

My son is in 5th grade and there is a boy in his class who doesn't bully anyone, but always bullies his son. Every day when he came home from school, his son's clothes were covered with various pen drawings, and it was very difficult to clean them. When he talked to the teacher, the teacher just criticized him. For many teachers, there is no direct threat to student safety is not a big deal. As a mother, I felt that it was already the last year of elementary school, and in a sense, changing schools wasn't something that had to be done. But every time I saw my son's depressed expression, I was sad and didn't know how to enlighten him.

I remember the following clear advice, such as transferring to another school, ah, call the teacher, ah, only one person said something to the effect that he dared to just scribble on you is your son's default.

All the things that disgust you, you righteously bring up; all the things that annoy you, you try to seek all the help; all the things that make you unpleasant, under the absence of breaking the law, to develop a power of expulsion. That's not just a skill, it's a principle.

I am reminded of the saying, do not underestimate your attitude in every matter, because it is likely to determine the future attitude of others towards you.

2.

Faulkner's "Hustle and Bustle", one of the main characters is Benji, this over the years, his intelligence has always stopped at the 3-year-old stage of the man, although the role of the class master, but often the servants look down on, and even play. When I was in college, and a friend discussed this character he is also a flesh and blood, and even has a little bit of emotion, but he was unable to resist. Why?

Many scholars, when elaborating his character, would place it on the academic high ground, considering him a mirror of morality. And we were very much in agreement at the time that if it hadn't been for Benji, it would have been unlikely that any of these characters would have had such a tragedy, whether he was stupid or not.

You must not underestimate yourself every time the mountains come down, and every time you fight, even if it doesn't bear fruit, it must be useful. You have to believe.

3.

When I was a child, I was a particularly cowardly person. Although after many years, the bones still have the remnants of the cowardice of the young but have faded away from the original silence.

I may have my homeroom teacher in elementary school to thank for this. She was warm, but an exceptionally principled person.

When I was in first grade, I was almost 5'3" and exceptionally tall. But my mother always felt that my personality did not match my height. The most important thing is that you have to be able to get the most out of your life. Because I do not like to talk. Little girl well, sometimes male vivid a hairpin, is also able to go to the teacher to say on five minutes. But I do not say anything.

Once, the boy pulled the braid when the class teacher passed by, the class teacher did not call the boy out, but first called me to the door.

He pulled your hair, do you feel pain? The class teacher asked.

I nodded my head.

Why didn't you say anything?

I was afraid of ruining my relationship with my classmates. I said it very directly, and at the time, I thought the answer was simply perfect.

The teacher sighed: He kept bullying you, and you thought classmate relations would be better?

I shook my head. It was then that I began to understand that the world is so big, and some so many people get an inch, and that going against the grain never makes things better, it only makes them worse.

Later, I discovered that when I started to resist and began to make all the moves I could against the boy, the boy stopped.

4.

In my mailbox, which is filled with many emails every day.

Why does my husband treat everyone else very well, treating me as shouting, and condescending, and a word of disagreement will drop things, but also turned to sleep on the sofa?

Why is it that my colleague in the unit always sends me to do this and that, she is not my leader, it is a girl about the same age as me, every time I do this and that, not to help her finish, and began to cry and say that I am not?

Why is my friend, every time I have to obey her, she never looks like she takes it for granted?

Have you never told him your emotions?

Did you never rise in defiance of your unhappiness?

Did you never just put up with it, and then a thousand rivers of water just pour into your psyche?

You seem so calm, so gentle, so patient, big wind and big waves even if you planted a heel, and never resist, so easy to look like, naturally can put you captive in his cage.

When he is happy, you accompany him happy, when he is unhappy, you accompany him unhappy. And he never needs to ask you whether you are high or not, because your attitude towards him is never a mirror, shining on you and him, long and long.

5.

A friend of mine once told me one thing.

His former department manager is very horny, a man in his 40s and many female colleagues have encountered her salty hands. Of course, this was only heard before. She just joined the job and thought it was a whisper, so did not care too much.

But never thought, two months after joining, during a noon break, the department manager called her into the office, in the name of revising the contract and let her stand around to watch him modify while changing while starting to apply "salty hands".

She immediately walked out of the office and knocked on the general manager's door.

This .general manager was a little hesitant at that time, but the gossip was more, naturally also into his ears. Fortunately, when she told the general manager that she had heard of all the people who had encountered the department manager's "salty hands", the general manager spent three afternoons talking about the work the way to verify and fired the department manager a week later.

I said you are still lucky, if the general manager listens to it, and pretend to ignore what to do.

She said I was ready to leave my job because I didn't want to be someone else and be violated at will. I had to make my attitude clear: women deserve respect in the workplace, and the bottom line is the body.

6.

I often feel that between people, it is a tug of war, evenly matched is the best feeling, you gain respect, and he gains appreciation. If one person is too weak, then this game, out of the field is over, because the other person can simply without effort knock you down.

And your strength determines whether, in this game you win or lose, each other is glorious beyond compare.

Lin Huiyin has a saying that tenderness should be there, but not compromise, we have to be strong in quiet, unhurried.

Yes, do not often compromise, do not be silent, do not walk heavily all the way, and turn back but is no longer what you want to look like.

You have to be vivid and agile, happy and sad at any time. You can have nothing, but you must have an attitude. Because your attitude determines the attitude of others towards you, are an adult, to become flesh and blood and brain people, to know how to live with flesh and blood and brain.