Numb

by Reagan Jensen 7 months ago in humanity

Short Story

Numb

My eyes were fixed upon the dimly lit night sky, watching the stars twinkle against the dark blanket in which they were encased as I quietly whispered "I don't know what feels real... anymore." The tears beginning to flood my broken blue eyes, as I continued "It's not like me to be so mean." The disappointment weighing within myself at who I had become. I could feel his deep set brown eyes watching me, observing my lips that began to quiver from the immense disbelief that began to surface at the mere thought of it all. I could feel the desperation and confusion begin to cloud my judgement as I glanced over at him quickly "I don't know what's happening" I proclaimed. He stood along side me, his intense eyes met mine at that very moment, the sympathy within his words, but the wisdom remained all the same "But you do." He paused for a brief moment, "You're growing, but you don't feel anything anymore... you've become numb" he calmly spoke. A gentle gasp escaped my lips then, as my eyes danced back and forth as if to find the lies within his answers, almost as if I was surprised by this accusation but all the while as if I didn't want it to be true. He never broke his gaze with me, as the tears began to trickle down my face. "You did what you had to do...regardless of if you see that yet or not." I couldn't seem to be able to come to terms with what he was saying, because everything felt null, there was nothing but a void that would surface every time my mind wandered back to the situation. "But he was all I wanted... what I needed" I looked up at him, the sorrow withered upon my face. He reached out and cupped my face gently, his fingers caressing my left cheek. I could see the sincerity in his gorgeous brown eyes, I knew he did in fact care deeply, despite everything that he was saying. He softly sighed then, but remained remorseful "Well, then all but one question remains... does it hurt?" I stopped for a moment, searching within the bottom of my heart and the crevasses of my mind, the numbness in my voice as I said "Nothing hurts when I'm alone." My facial expression was blank as he meekly smiled at my response, finally breaking his stare, as he looked off towards the depths of the distilled forest. "Then there is your answer, my dear... there is your answer." He started to slowly walk away then, only to take a few steps forward before he stopped, slightly turning to look back at me as he said "But then again, you always knew that from the very beginning." I glanced towards the ruffled surface of the ground, unaffected by his words, and yet I still wanted to say no, I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to mutter the words... because I knew that he was right. I could hear the sympathy and yet the sternness within his voice "Don't beat yourself up about this, because it's like I've always told you... you were never meant for this life. You saw it from the very beginning... you just chose to ignore it." He turned back around then and continued to walk off into the distance. I looked back over to where he had stood, only to see his backside, watching as he disappeared into the night, leaving me standing there... becoming lost in my own disgruntled realization of the truth.

humanity
Reagan Jensen
Reagan Jensen
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Reagan Jensen

Canadian writer posting short stories and quotes all formed within my vast mind.

See all posts by Reagan Jensen