N.A.M.A.L.T.
Say it one more time. I dare you!
How many times have you heard the phrase "not all men are like that"? Did you know it is counter-productive to the toxic masculinity conversation that we desperately need to have? If you are one of those men (or women) that interrupt with “not all men are like that,” when the discussion of toxic masculinity is raised then you are just as much a part of the problem.
You see, we already know that. We are well aware of the fact that not all men are like that and we don’t need to hear it again, for the millionth time. All you are doing by constantly interrupting to point out that “not all men are like that,” is detract from the conversation that the world needs to have.
Change cannot occur if we cannot discuss exactly what needs to be fixed. And that conversation will never happen if we are constantly interrupted by those needing validation that they are not like all men. Stop making it about you. We don’t want to discuss THOSE men. We want to discuss the OTHER men.
We want to discuss the men who promote and encourage a "rape culture" with suggestive comments and jokes, who want to lay the blame on the woman because she chose to wear something that she liked, but that the rapist saw as an invitation to have sex with her because she "wanted it", or because she flirted with him, or looked at him, or accepted a drink from him.
This behaviour is not a joke. It is the behaviour of a predator. I will not deign to call him a man, he is nothing more than an animal.
We want to discuss the men who think it is tolerable and appropriate to tell sexually suggestive jokes in the workplace. Who think there is no harm in calling someone sweetie, darling, babe or any other word that is not the woman's name. Who think it is not harmful to make derogatory comments about a woman's body, or what they think she should do with that body. Or worse still, to touch that woman's body without her consent.
This behaviour is sexual harassment and no woman should have to tolerate this in the workplace, or any other place within society.
We want to discuss those men who dare to raise their hand in violence against a woman (or child) and believe it is their right to do so. Who think they have the right to enforce their opinions, beliefs, and decisions by physical, emotional or psychological force, simply because they are a man. Who think of themselves as superior and beyond reproach, not to be questioned by anyone they consider inferior.
Domestic violence against women (and children) is a crime. Any person who partakes in such actions is void of morals and is nothing more than a blight on humanity. When will society protect those who need it the most?
We want to discuss those men that think it is acceptable to spout and promote racism, whether it be because of skin colour, religious beliefs, or language. Who think it is okay to consider themselves superior to another nationality, simply because of cultural differences. Who think it is allowable to discriminate, belittle or even violently attack another human for nothing more than their origins on this planet.
Racism is stupidity and ignorance of the highest order. No one nationality is superior to another. We are all humans living together on this one planet. Our genetic make-up is the same regardless of nationality.
We want to discuss those men who would think it justifiable to commit hate crimes against another human being, simply because of who they choose to love. Who think that they have a right to dictate who another person should or shouldn't love based on their own beliefs and ignorance. Who believe violence is the answer to stop people from loving one another.
Hate crimes against the LGBTQ community is heartbreaking for it is nothing more than hating someone because they love someone different from yourself. This is the behaviour of someone who is insecure within themselves. Who a person chooses to love has no impact on your own life. This should not even be an issue in this day and age, but unfortunately, it is.
If you have never had a hand held over your mouth and had someone whisper in your ear, "don't scream or I will kill you", "don't tell your parents because this is our secret and they will not believe you", or "stop struggling because you will only make it worse", then you are very, very fortunate. But this is the reality of many women and children because society permits toxic masculinity to be accepted as boys being boys, and men being men.
Change begins with each and every one of us. If you see one of your friends behaving with toxic traits, call them out. Put a stop to it. If you can, educate them. But most importantly, lead by example, for the children who follow in our footsteps are watching. One day soon, it will be our sons and daughters who will be standing in our place.
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About the Creator
Julianne McKenna
I write because my heart tells me to, I read because I love stories that make my eclectic soul happy. I'm an artist, scrapbooker, book nerd, animal lover, traveller and free spirit. Twitter: @JulesMcKenna13 Instagram: @theblingprincess
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