My Perfect-Self!

"You will never be perfect. Perfection is not something that you achieve. You should admire your flaws. You should be kinder to your mind and soul because looks don't matter".

These are some lines I read somewhere and I can't seem to get them out of my head. I have been thinking for the last few hours. It is very easy to say to change yourself but have you ever considered that it could hurt someone’s feelings that can put them in depression? More than 80 percent of women are not happy with their looks. I am no different. People tell me all the time how they wanna look like me but I always wonder what they see in me that I don't see myself. Before making notes about others, I wanna know the reason for my insecurities.

I think the root cause of feeling so insecure is that we always look at ourselves through someone else's eyes. We always give so much power to someone else to tell us how we should feel about our looks. I always want to just ignore what they say about me but it's impossible to not think about it. Like last week, I went to see some of my friends and one of them told me that I am gaining weight. So that thing kinda stuck in my mind. I was like- OKAY! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT NOW? He ruined my day just by showing some concern and which I hated him for. We gave so much power to others and It's hard to not do that. It was not his intention to offend me. He was just concerned and wanted to know if I am in any kind of problem or in a dark place where he knows that I have the ability to go every now and then. But I got offended just because I am already aware of me getting fat.

Social media is also a one big lie. It has ruined people’s lives. People showcase their perfect self which is never true. They are obsessed with getting more views and likes. They can go to any extend to achieve their desired likes. I can't even imagine trusting someone just by looking at their profiles. But at some point, You create a fantasy in your mind to be someone like them. Trust me, they are much more miserable than you are. If you visit my Instagram profile, you will see a happy girl with a perfect life. You will see perfect pictures in different locations which indicates how much I love going out and having fun. You will see a perfect body and skin which I do not have. I am as miserable as you are. But you will only know that if you know me in person. Otherwise, You will just be a victim of me portraying you my perfect self. That's what social media did to us. We like to brag about things, it doesn't matter if we have them or not.

The whole standard of living has changed now. We judge people, we laugh at their backs. Is this even a way of treating others? We should help them and we should support each other in our tough times. We should never tell anyone how they look. We should always compliment each other even for small things. Sometimes even a small nice thing you say to someone, makes their day. We should only say things which we can hear about ourselves.

I have scars and stretch marks which I can't get rid of. I don't even want to. MY SCARS MADE ME WHO I AM TODAY. Each scar tells a different story. I embrace each and every one of them. I will never be want to be with someone who will degrade me by saying anything bad about them. You can call it feminism if you want. I don't want a boy to tell me what I should do to look better. If he wanna be with me, he have to fell in love with each scar of my body. He should know the story behind them. Self-love is too important. Forget about everything else, FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR IMPERFECTIONS FIRST.

I also believe that if you do not feel good about yourself then you should work to be better but also know that perfection is like a mirage of water in a sun-choked desert. You will keep running towards it but you can never reach the oasis. I always work to be better in everything I do but I know in my heart that I can never become someone who people want me to be. I will be my own perfect version of myself. I will never qualify or even reach the expectation of others. I can only make myself feel good by keep working on it for myself, not for others.