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My husband has been staying out of bed a lot in recent days!

Followed him and found a home outside his house

By jamar chilcotePublished about a year ago 9 min read
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After I got married to my husband, I found out that he had hidden two things from me: 1) he had hidden his marriage history with his ex-wife, and 2) he had exaggerated his parents' work. After learning the truth, although I felt upset by my husband's deception, I didn't divorce him, because my husband treated me well in my married life and took great care of my maternal family.

My family has five sisters, I am the eldest sister, and I also have three sisters and a brother. My parents are both farmers. The year I graduated from college, my siblings were still in school. Because my husband had a stable job and was the only child in the family, and his parents also had stable jobs, this was the main reason why I married my husband in the first place. My idea was simple: I wanted to help my siblings finish school with the help of my husband. In the end, the eldest sister did not continue school after graduating from junior high school, the second sister graduated from junior high school and was assigned to an elementary school as a teacher, and the third sister graduated from college and stayed in the city where she went to school and got a stable job and married a rich man, and the youngest brother graduated from college and stayed in school to teach. We have five sisters, the eldest sister's life is a little bit shabby, usually, we will also help the eldest sister some, and we have a very good relationship between the sisters.

I was happy to have a loving husband and close siblings. However, the pattern of the marriage changed significantly when my husband resigned from his original unit three years ago and went into business: he handed over more money to me every month, but spent less time with me and my children. I can understand my husband's hardship in fighting for his career. Several times I saw him squatting in the bathroom after coming home because he had drunk too much and vomited, and I felt sorry for him. Therefore, in the past three years, I have almost not let my husband worry about family matters. However, my heart and understanding of my husband did not come in exchange for his fidelity to the marriage, because in recent times, my husband often plays the night away from home. The sixth sense tells me: my husband cheated on me. Questioned the husband, and he denied it.

By Afif Kusuma on Unsplash

A month ago, near the end of the day, my husband called and said he had to spend the evening with a client, so he would not be home for dinner. At that time, I had a premonition: my husband would not stay at home tonight. So, I asked the unit leader for leave and went to my husband's company an hour early to squat. Through the husband's tracking, eventually found that he did not go to the restaurant after work social, but directly to another district of an apartment. About ten minutes later, I knocked on the door of the home my husband had entered (there was a cat's eye on the door, which I blocked with my fingertips). The door was opened by the husband, he had changed into his pajamas, and at the same time, there was a young and beautiful girl wearing a couple of pajamas similar to the husband. I did not have much communication with my husband, but slapped him twice and told him to hurry up and change his clothes and follow me home. The husband did as he was told. After arriving home, in exchange for a big fight between the two of us, under my blackmail, my husband called the mistress in front of me and said to break up. The following many days, my husband arrived home on time, I also relaxed my husband's vigilance.

A few days ago, the husband staged another night out, and went to the mistress's residence, but did not see the husband's figure. The next day, my husband arrived home, took out a gold necklace from his handbag, considered to appease me, but I do not care about these, and righteously said to my husband: If the situation of nocturnal sleep happens again, you should never come back. I am grateful for my husband's support of my siblings when we first got married, but just because my husband is kind to my whole family, should I let him wreak havoc on my marriage over and over again?

Muzi Li's emotional analysis.

In your husband and you in love that will, you will your family's actual situation to your husband, he faced the burden of your family three sisters a brother, did not flinch, that he is willing to share this responsibility with you. You are grateful for this matter, which only shows that you are a sensible and good woman. This series of things and your husband's betrayal of marriage do not have much to do with it, and should not become your husband's capital to do whatever he wants in married life. Your husband's attitude after the cheating period can be seen, let your husband how to get away in the marriage, he has no idea of divorce with you. For this reason, after your second anger and warning about your husband's sleepless nights, please believe that your husband will restrain too much from now on.

Everyone should stick to their bottom line, which means: since you have said "if your husband stays out at night again, he should not come back to the house". Then, if the sleeplessness happens again, please make sure you fulfill your promise: divorce your husband without discussion. If your husband does change his ways in the future, you also need to use the past to face your husband's previous offenses. Because many things have happened, it will show the effect of the overturning of the water, if you insist on allowing yourself to dwell on what has happened, will only add to your problems at the same time, but also let the things that have happened can not reach the real effect of turning over the page, in this case, it is difficult to move forward happily in married life.

We need to understand things: a person who can make money, does not mean that this person is not philandering; a person who is good to his wife and children, does not mean that this person is not philandering. For this reason, when examining a marriage, you can't just look at each other's strengths or focus on each other's weaknesses, but you must keep your principles of being a human being. Need to admit that some men do play the trick of becoming bad after the money, but these men also need to be clear: in this case, the wife to give you forgiveness, not because you can not abandon the richer life at the moment, just because still in love. If a woman wants to tear up and divorce you, do you think she can not take away half of the joint property or even more?

Some people's inherent thinking: after they have money, the lover will look at the face of money to give themselves absolute freedom, but ignore their frequent cheating itself has caused serious mental harm to the lover. Once the lover has saved up enough disappointment, he or she will pull away from the relationship. After the divorce pattern is formed, do you think your lover will not tear your face off for vested interests? At that time, it will not be good for both sides of each other. Of course, the lover will also be divorced, so that they become a real rich, in this case, the other party in the preferred marriage partner, there will be more choice, do not rule out the possibility of finding a small white man, living a pleasing life.

Many people are reluctant to divorce after their lover cheated on them, not because they are worried that their lives will be a mess after leaving their lover, but because they don't want their children to grow up in a divorced family, and they don't want their habits to be broken, as well as they don't want their efforts in married life to go down the drain. But cheaters should always understand: dogs will jump off the wall, so please don't force your lover to show his hide in front of you when he still has patience for you. The person lives a lifetime or face, in the lover can still give you a step-down, you have to take it easy, do not let yourself live into the state of giving face, in this case, you think the lover still has the patience to stay with you, see you get away outside the marriage?

The truth about relationships is: freshness does attract people, and lovers together for a long time will indeed produce aesthetic fatigue on the lover. But people live their whole life, in the end, is it not for themselves to precipitate some sincere true feelings? During this period, people need to do things: 1) to ensure loyalty to the marriage; 2) in the process of running the marriage to have a wholeheartedly giving sentiment; 3) to allow themselves to live in a state that allows them to have used in life; 4) try not to let themselves become a drag on their children; 5) do not live themselves into a state that makes their lovers resentful and their children do not see. Only then will one's life be more smoothly spent. Otherwise, the harm to their loved ones and children will eventually make them taste bitter someday future.

Editor's note.

With mere exertion or physical injury, the heart does not necessarily suffer; but the continued injury to the mind, over time, the body will go downhill. When experiencing pain, many people will feel physically and mentally exhausted, and even feel that there is no point in living, resulting in people will be in the torment of negative emotions, bringing great pain to themselves. For this reason, we need to understand something: must be conscious to take care of the emotions of loved ones, and never feel that as long as they have good earning power, they can do whatever they want in the field of relationships.

When a person is in love with you, that person is bound to value the uniqueness of love and will instinctively give absolute possession to you. During this time, every time you stay outside of marriage, you will form invisible love scars with your lover. When you hurt your lover more often than not, your lover's feedback to you is either numb after they no longer love love, just simply taking you as an automatic teller machine, or is to you after saving enough disappointment, from your side desperate to pull away.

marriage
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About the Creator

jamar chilcote

Time and tide wait for no man

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