My Friend Left Us This Priceless Lesson From The Grave

"Erica passed away at 12:15."

That was all the text said.

Last week she was on a girl's trip in wine country, and today she's dead.

As I write this, there's a swirl of emotions in me. I'm honestly unsure which one to go with, so I decided to do something that always helps me navigate these emotional, turbulent waters. And that is to write about it. 

Like Hemingway said, "All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."

My wife Lisa is taking it harder than I imagined.

We were all close, Lisa, Erica, and myself. She (my wife) more than me, to be fair, but we were close enough to know her, her husband, and to see their kids grow up. Heck, we met when they bought our house over a decade ago and became fast friends.

And she's gone.

One can say this was totally unexpected, out-of-the-blue, "you gotta be shittin' me" type of passing that leaves everyone…and I mean EVERYONE asking WTF? I mean, hell, she and my wife were literally just on the phone like three days ago talking about chicken salad and diet Coke. 

Yeah.

Chicken salad and diet Coke.

Then came the girls' wine weekend in Napa, and now she's dead. My wife didn't go on that trip. She skipped it, and I know that she feels guilty. And sad.

But I think it's fair to put this in context so this dark picture feels a little lighter.

You see my wife and I had been overseas together during the pandemic. She arrived here about a week before "the text," and that's actually why she had to skip that girl's weekend. Because she was traveling. 

That wine weekend would have been the last moments she spent with Erica.

So mid-week after wine weekend, when friends started texting, sharing that Erica was sick and in the ER, it was concerning. Mildly so, I might add, but concerning.

Then two days later, she was in the Intensive Care Unit…

One day after that, her heart stopped, and she was on a respirator…

That day was just 48 hours ago…

We were praying and sending as many good vibes, well wishes, and positive thoughts as we possibly could. My wife and I talked about the situation and dove deep into life, death and, of course, applied our expertise as ER nurses to try to make sense of what was happening back home.

And then the text…

"Erica passed away at 12:15"

We both froze and looked at each other in a way I don't think we ever have.

The look was deep and understanding and giving and hoping and sad and loving and caring and knowing in that moment that every single moment mattered…

And that brings me to the real point of this article, blog, message, or whatever you wanna call this cascade of words and thoughts or blood on your screen.

That life is simply too short and too precious to squander even a single moment.

Her life impacted us in so many positive ways that it's hard to explain. 

And ironically, her passing has had one of the most profound impacts on how we, my wife and I, will spend every remaining waking moment.

Thank you, Erica.

For who you were, are, and what you've left for us.

"Rick and Lisa started living at 12:16."