This guy just didn't get that no means no I have tried to get away but he keeps following me seriously some guys are just morons 'how about that dance' 'I have said no and that I am not interested' I try to walk away but he grabs my arm 'come on sweetheart I can show you a good time' 'no thanks' I try to pull away but his grip tightens 'I believe the lady said no' 'buzz off loser' the guy gets pulled away from me I looked to see who came to my rescue and roll my eyes it is my ex boyfriend Logan 'typical' I mutter and weave my way through the crowd to get away from both of them. Logan and I broke up months ago and he still being my knight in shining armour why can't he get the message that we are so over, I step outside and breath in the fresh air but I know I am not alone I can feel Logan behind me I don't turn around 'are you okay?' I don't answer 'Tess' I turn on him 'seriously Logan what the hell' 'why are you angry?' 'why can't you leave me alone we are broken up so stop being some crazy white knight I don't need your help' 'Tess' he looks hurt but I don't feel sorry for him 'just leave me alone' with that I walk away and don't look back.
On my way home in the taxi I text my best friend of many years who also is my roommate to let her know what has happened and why I left I needed to get as far away from Logan as possible. I flop on the couch when I walk into the apartment 'you're back early' I open my eyes to see my gay roommate Harrison standing over me 'ran into Logan and needed to get away from him' 'what happened?' 'some guy was not taking no for answer and Logan had to be the white knight again' 'is that a bad thing' 'we are not together anymore we broke up' 'maybe you need to forgive and forget' 'no way he cheated on me and it broke my heart and I need to get over it and I can't do that if he is constantly in my face' Harrison sits down next to me and puts his arm around me 'you will forgive him eventually' I sighed 'maybe but for now I need him to leave me alone' I lean against Harrison's shoulder.
Cassie my best friend and roommate is at the table when I come out for my morning coffee 'morning' she smiles at me 'I am sorry I just took off last night' 'I understand' I poured my coffee 'you doing ok?' 'I need space from him' 'I get that' I sit down 'it is hard when he is everywhere look I know he is your brother and I never do anything to come between you but if he wants my forgiveness I need space to heal and get over the hurt' 'you both mean the world to me so I will have a chat to him about space so you can heal first before you forgive' 'we will never get back together but I would like to be some kind of friends again' 'I will have a chat with him today' Cassie smiled we had been friends since childhood and I didn't want to cause her any grief.
Cassie seeked out her brother before her first lecture 'if you are here to give me grief about last night save it' 'no not grief just a chat' Logan adored his sister she was one of the sweetest people he knew so he listened 'you need to give her some space she is hurting and needs to heal' 'I love her' 'I know you do you hurt her badly Logan and if you want forgiveness you need to give her the space to heal first and than maybe you will be able to at least start from friends again' Logan sighed he knew his sister was right 'ok I will give space' 'thank you love you big brother' Cassie kissed his cheek. Logan watched his sister walk away he was two years older than both Cassie and Tess he been at college for two years and was starting his third when Cassie and Tess had just started, he remembered the plan how they all wanted to be together in college so the girls had applied here and both got in and Logan had been with Tess for three years since she was fifteen and he was seventeen and than he done a stupid thing before christmas break he gone to a christmas party on campus had a few drinks and ended hooking up with another girl and had regretted the next morning. Logan couldn't keep this from Tess so he had told her over christmas break and she had broken up with him and it had crushed him how could he have been so stupid he would give her the space she needed but than he was going to everything he could to win her heart back.
Over the next few weeks I had noticed Logan was giving me the space I needed and I knew that I had Cassie to thank for that but this weekend coming was going to be hard with Cassie and Logan's older sister Rita's wedding I had to go as I was a bridesmaid and had been partnered with Logan which meant this weekend there was no avoiding Logan.
I was struggling to clasp up the back of her dress Cassie was helping Rita and I didn't want to get in between the sister bonding 'do you want me to help you with that?' Logan stood at the doorway 'yes please' Logan came and stood behind me 'I was looking for Cassie' Logan clasp her dress 'she is in the bridal room with Rita' Logan nodded and headed towards the bridal room 'Logan' he stopped 'I forgive you' he turned and looked at her 'you broke my trust Logan and I don't know if you can ever get it back' 'I am sorry' 'I know, Cassie is my best friend and for now all I can offer you is friendship' 'You mean alot to me Tess and I don't want to lose you all together so I will take your offer of friendship' he smile at her and walked into the bridal room. The wedding ceremony had been beautiful I sat at the bridal table next to Logan 'I am going to get another soft drink do you want one Tess?' 'yes please' Logan walked off and Cassie came and sat next to me 'it would seem that you and my brother have made peace' 'I have forgiven not forgotten he broke my trust and I don't know if I can trust him again but for now I offered him friendship' 'that is a start' 'I love you Cassie you are my best friend and I don't want to feel like you can't invite your brother to our apartment' 'thank you' 'anything for you' I hugged Cassie tight. Logan watched them for the bar 'what can I get you?' 'two glasses of coke and one of them with ice please' 'coming up' Logan knew that Tess had taken a big step by forgiving him and offering friendship he also knew that she only done it because of Cassie but he could work from that 'here you go' 'thank you' Logan carried the two glasses of coke back to the table.
Logan was unsure whether he should ask Tess to dance he didn't want her to be upset with him 'want to dance?' Logan looked at me unsure 'we are bridesmaid and groomsmen we have to dance it no big deal' Logan stood and held his hand out to me. He kept hold of my hand all the way to the dance floor 'are you sure about this I don't want to make you uncomfortable' 'I am sure' I placed my hands around Logan's neck 'we're friends we can get through this' Logan hands slipped around and he pulled me close. I had forgotten how good it felt to be in Logan's arms I shook that thought off I didn't want to fall back into that I tensed Logan must of felt me tense 'you okay?' 'yes sorry' I tried to relax again it was harder than I thought when the dance ended I stepped away 'excuse me I need the bathroom' I hurried away. I put the toilet down and sat on it this was going to be harder than I thought I heard two women come into the toilets 'did you see Logan dancing with Tess' 'I never did see what he saw in her she such a plain Jane and doesn't come from money like them' 'he is better off without her' I knew that voice it was Courtney Mitchell she came from a very rich family like Cassie and Logan and had a thing for Logan for years 'tonight is the night I am finally going to bed Logan before he gets back with Tess you see if I get pregnant he will be mine' 'nasty' 'I know' they laugh as they left the toilets. I really couldn't take this anymore I felt sick 'Tess' Logan walked towards me 'you okay?' 'um...I don't feel so good I am going to head off' 'let me drive you' 'no I can't pull you away from the wedding' 'I need to get out of here I had enough of the wedding and Courtney is putting her fake boobs in my face' 'um...I' 'I am doing as a friend to make sure you get home ok Cassie wouldn't want you taking a taxi' 'ok' Logan walked me out.
I was quiet on the trip home 'Tess what's wrong?' 'nothing' 'I have known you a long time Tess I know when something is wrong?' 'this isn't the time' getting over Logan hadn't been the only reason I had been on emotional rollercoaster I had been keeping a big secret from everyone the last two months and it was a life changing secret that I didn't know how to tell Logan. As soon as Logan pulled up outside the my apartment building I bolted for the door but Logan was right behind me 'Tessa talk to me' 'I'm four months pregnant' 'what?' 'I haven't been with anyone but you' 'I know but we were always so careful' 'christmas eve we drank quite a bit and were a little less careful' 'oh shit' 'I am sorry I didn't mean for it to happen please don't ask me to get rid of it' 'no I would never ask you to do that' 'I don't know what to do' I started to cry Logan pulled me into his arms 'it's ok baby don't cry we will work this out together' I sobbed into Logan's chest.
Cassie eyed me the next morning 'Logan is on the couch' 'I know' 'what's going on' 'I am four months pregnant' 'what' 'same reaction Logan had when I first told him' 'how long have you known?' 'two months' 'why the hell didn't you say anything' 'Logan asked the same thing I was scared, confused and just on a dam emotional rollercoaster I am so sorry I didn't plan this' 'I know how did it happen?' 'christmas eve the drinking game we were all playing Logan and I were not so careful' 'shit' 'Logan and I were talking for ages he was tired and I didn't want him to drive' 'so what are you going to do are you getting rid of it' 'no' the sound of Logan's voice made me jump 'my girl and my baby I will take care of them' 'I am not your girl not anymore but our baby' 'I will look after you both' 'I know you will' I had no idea how this was going to work or whether it would work.
Logan wasn't going to abandon Tess he loved her and they were having a baby together but he didn't want to push her into anything that she wasn't ready for. Logan would keep it at friendship for now because he now realised Cassie hadn't been the only reason Tess had offered friendship it had been for the baby too and a baby needed both parents so the baby had to come first for now as for his relationship with Tess that would take more time. There no one else that Logan wanted to be with Logan had been in love with Tess since childhood the first day Cassie had brought her over he couldn't take his eyes off her she was beautiful, smart and funny and he been fifteen at the time he had been out with girls but when he met Tess he never went out with any other girls because it had been love at first sight for him.
I sat at the doctor's office I was nervous this was my first ultrasound I didn't want anything to go wrong with the baby I had been doing alot of thinking and I really wanted this baby with or without Logan's help 'Tess Silverman' I stood up feeling a little shaky as I walked into the exam room. The doctor was about to start the ultrasound when the door opened 'Logan what are you doing here?' 'I wouldn't miss our baby's first ultrasound' 'how did you know I was here?' 'it was in your diary' 'Logan' 'I am not missing anything Tess this our baby' I sighed because I knew he was right 'you're right come on' I held out my hand. We had a very healthy baby we didn't know the sex yet as the baby was facing the other way not that it mattered whether it was a boy or a girl as long as it was healthy that was that mattered.
After my ultrasound Logan wanted to buy me lunch I declined 'Logan we are not together' 'I know that I just thought you and baby might be hungry' 'I am tired just going to head home' 'ok' Logan looked so sad when I left but he had to understand that we weren't ever going to get back together. The moment I got home I crashed in bed and fell asleep pretty much straight away I woke a couple hours later to the sound of the television in the living room Harrison was watching some cooking show by the sound of it I pulled the covers over my head and moaned. I didn't want to get up but my bladder had other ideas another perk of being pregnant I got up and slowly made my way to the bathroom when I made my way to the living room Harrison was glued to the television he loved these cooking shows he was working hard to become a world famous chef and appear on these cooking shows it was his dream, I was studying to be a teacher I had always wanted to teach children it was my dream but now don't know if it will happen I got a baby on the way and plans have changed.
I didn't plan to get pregnant in wasn't in my plans but it was happening and I really wanted to have this baby it just meant it might take longer to get my teaching degree because I wouldn't be able to study full time anymore I need work more before the baby came I needed money for the baby stuff I needed to get so it was time to work out my new plan. I had been working two night shifts a week in the college bar I might ask my boss if he has anymore shifts I can do I needed to have money for the baby as for college I was on a scholarship I had the household bills that my current shifts covered so if I took on more shifts I would be able to save money for the baby.
Logan decided to stop the apartment to see his sister and also to check on Tess 'well this is a nice surprise' 'should I have called first?' 'your my brother you don't need to call when you want to pop over' 'just thought I see what my sis was up to?' 'is that the only reason?' 'well I was hoping for some of Harrison's cooking' 'some in the fridge come on' Logan followed Cassie into the kitchen. Logan looked around 'it is quiet' 'yeah' 'where are the others?' 'Harrison works at the restaurant of a night and Tess is at work too' 'it's Thursday' 'she took on some extra shifts' 'what but she is pregnant' 'Tess knows that and that is why she is working extra shifts she wants the money for the baby' 'I said I would look after them' 'Tess knows that too but Tess is independent we both know that and will work until she can't anymore' 'with college as well' 'Tess is dropping out of college' 'what but her teaching degree' 'after the baby is born she going to go back to college part time' 'I just wish she had discuss this with me' 'Logan you are the father of her baby not her boyfriend' 'what's your point?' 'Tess doesn't have to discuss what is going on with her just what is going on with the baby' Logan sighed 'I am her friend I was hoping she would talk to me like she use to' 'she might in time Logan' 'I hope so' Cassie handed her brother a plate of food she knew him well enough to know that he hadn't given hope up on getting back together with Tess but Cassie had the feeling that Tess was not on the same page.
I walked into the apartment just after midnight exhausted 'you're home late' I jumped at the sound of Logan's voice 'Logan' I put my hand to my chest 'you scared me' 'sorry' 'what are you doing here?' 'had some dinner with Cassie and a few drinks so I crashed on the couch' 'oh ok' I headed to the kitchen in search of water. I felt Logan follow me into the kitchen 'why you working so late?' 'it not that late' 'it after midnight' 'I didn't take the shift that gets me home at 3 am' 'I guess' I sipped my water 'is there something else you wanted Logan' 'why you dropping out of college and taking more shifts' 'I need the money for the baby' 'I said I look after you both' 'I know you did Logan but I don't want to be totally dependent on you Logan' 'I understand but do take care of yourself and the baby please don't over work' 'I won't' Logan didn't push anymore 'I am tired I am going to bed night Logan' 'night' I went to bed without looking back at Logan.
I knew I made Logan sad but it is what it is and he needed to understand that I will never get back with him no matter how much I still love him he hurt me and broke my trust, how can you be with someone you can't trust. I slip into to my pjs and crawl into bed I am so exhausted my feet are swollen just another perk of being pregnant I could of used a soak in a hot bath but just too exhausted to run one I slowly drift off to sleep. I awake a few hours later stiff and sore and a strong need to pee after the bathroom I headed to the kitchen for some water 'can't sleep' I jumped as the sound of Logan's voice 'yes bit sore' 'where?' 'lower back comes with pregnancy' Logan comes up behind me and works his hands into my lower back. It felt so good 'is that helping' 'yes thank you' I feel Logan's breath near my neck I shiver 'better?' 'yes' I step away 'Tess' 'I can't...' Logan steps towards me 'can't what?' I couldn't get the words out Logan's lips were on mine.
Logan wrapped his arms around Tess and pulled her close he felt her stiffen and than slowly relax against him, he felt her lips slowly part under his. I pulled away 'dam it' 'Tess' I slapped Logan 'what was that for?' 'don't do that again' 'what?' 'kiss me' 'Tess' Logan stepped toward me and I stepped back 'don't even think about it' 'you kissed me back Tess' 'just because I still have feelings for you does not mean we are getting back together' 'why not' 'I don't trust you not to hurt me again' 'Tess I won't hurt you again I love you' 'I am sorry Logan I can't' I turned walked away without looking back. I felt awful that I had slapped Logan my emotions were high from my pregnancy I wanted to apologise, Logan hear Tess come back out of her room he sat up and looked at her 'I am sorry I slapped and yelled at you' 'it is okay' I walked over to him 'you hurt me so much when you cheated on me' 'Tess you are the love of my life I been in love with you since we first met' 'I know' 'I made a mistake Tess but I would never repeat that mistake' 'I want to let you back in but...' 'come' Logan tapped the couch I made my way over and sat next time to him 'do you love me?' 'you know I do Logan' 'I want to earn your trust back Tess can I?' 'yes but no more kissing me until I am ready' 'I promise you I will not kiss you unless you kiss me' Logan smiled.
I took on a waitress job at a local diner and cut my night work down to 2 nights a week I was pregnant I couldn't been waiting bar too many nights I needed to look after myself and get good night sleeps, I had waitress before at the diner during my summer vacation for many years and this place was similar to that one Logan had been right it wasn't good for me to be working so many nights with dropping out of college I lost my scholarship and I was going to need a place because I was no longer a student I couldn't live on campus. I was just finishing up for the day when Logan strolled in I rolled my eyes of course he knew I was here 'hey need a lift home?' I shook my head 'you know stalking is illegal' 'I am no stalking you I was passing and thought you might like a lift home beside I need to talk to you' 'fine' I grabbed my stuff and followed Logan out.
Logan hadn't said anything since we left the diner 'what did you want to talk to me about?' 'let's stop for some food' 'Logan' 'I don't want to talk to you while I am driving please' 'ok' Logan pulled into a local pub. Logan ordered a beer and I just had water 'so what did you want to talk to me about?' 'move in with me' 'Logan we're...' 'before you finish that sentence I have a four bedroom place two rooms are empty one for the baby and one for you' 'oh' 'I am not pushing you into anything I know you need a place to stay I am trying to help and thought it be nice for us both to be under the same roof as the baby' 'ok Thank you Logan' he looked relieved but as for me I was unsure how this was going to go.
End of part one