Mutable Earth

Originally, this was supposed to be part of the "In the Stars" challenge, but due to local time, I just missed the cutoff. Always keep an eye on the closing times for challenges, folks! Anyway, I've invested the time for this, so it's going up anyway...

I first learned of my sun sign when my parents pointed out the horoscope section in a newspaper when I was young. It may have been an attempt to keep me preoccupied while we waited for our meal at a restaurant, and it worked. The horoscopes were only a line or two, and once I had deduced mine by the birthdate and read it, I instantly sought to identify what my parents’ were, along with any other person I was curious about and knew the birthdate of. I didn’t know how such things worked, so I didn’t think too much of it beyond curiosity.

While I still don’t know if I believe it the same way others do decades later, I will say astrology and other such forms of trying to determine a person’s life or personality are interesting, and I become reinvested in exploring them every few years. And there are many others besides the Western Zodiac: numerology, metasymbology, Tarot, the zodiac of the Lunar calendar, Native American zodiac, birth order, day of week of birth...etc. And that’s not even including things like personality types based on the Meyers-Briggs big five personality test, or blood type, eye color, handwriting...etc. On and on. To count or discount one is to count or discount them all.

You might expect these to all be contradictory, or made solely of broad generalizations shared across most people. I recall, in a semester of high-school psychology, that our teacher had each of us fill out a questionnaire. We would score our answers on the spot, and the total number of points determined which personality type we had. On a desk at the front of the room were several stacks of papers, text down, each correlating to the personality types. We each took a paper from the proper stack and sat back at our own desks. First we read them to ourselves, and our teacher asked of all of us if we thought the description we read matched us, to which most said yes. She then asked one student what type they had and to begin reading their paper. Despite having a different type than myself, we had the same description. We all did. The exercise was meant to point out how the wording of these general “blanket” statements could make it seem like shared basic needs and desires were personal traits.

I had this in mind when I poked through the few astrology books I have had for years and looked up my birth chart online to reread the text again after several years, as I had forgotten most of what is in my chart. I’m not so invested that I know how to do any readings myself, but I find the characterizations fascinating. And unsettlingly accurate in most cases. I found myself in awe that, since my last invested perusal, I had developed in ways that mirrored what the chart says. Whether that was more a subconscious thought driving me towards these things that I had read last over three years ago or not, either way it’s interesting. I wasn’t seeking to be like such descriptions.

I don’t rule out these… methods? Whether or not these are simply generalized human behavior and needs or something truly individual, I think there is something useful in them. I don’t believe in a higher power, nor a destined plan. I think we’re just here, and one day just gone again. My base layer is “nothing matters and no one and nothing owes you anything”. But I also believe that, since we’re here, why not try to make the experience better overall? Why not be nice? Why not push for better? It may not mean a thing to the universe at large, but it can mean something to these weirdos inhabiting Earth for just a little while. Just because I don’t think existence matters overall, doesn’t mean I don’t want someone else to have a good one.

I do believe in physics and cause and effect, though. The moon pulls the tides, after all; here is earthbound proof that celestial bodies can affect our physical experience. Are there other such effects caused by other cosmic influences? Internal pulls caused by outside forces? That doesn’t seem too unreasonable.

Another thought, concerning virtually all such related ideas, is that, if there is a creator or more… We may be little more than a simulation. Characters in a game. These things that claim to identify us may be similar to a sort of program code or stats. It’s a popular train of thought, with groups on Reddit dedicated to it. I find it extremely fun to entertain, but I am far from sold on the theory.

Regardless of theories, I will say, I found more than I thought I would to support that there may be something to things like astrology. Starting with the fact that my parentage, much like the true ruler of my sign, has long been in question.

My mother met my father before her second divorce. The previous husband was said to be unable to have any more children, but since they were still living together when I was conceived, despite my mother always stating the man I call my dad is, in fact, my dad, the possibility still existed that he wasn’t. We’ve never done a DNA test, but I am convinced he is my dad. Largely my mother’s insistence, but also because, when he had his wisdom teeth pulled, all of his had four roots (usually there’s less), and when I had mine extracted, one of the two that were not destroyed in removal had four roots. Another oddity concerning my dad is that, one suggested ruler of my sign was lame, and as I mimicked my father’s hobbled walk growing up, I now have an odd gait myself, which is sometimes mentioned in some astrology articles. I know I walk that way because I copied his way of walking growing up, but how odd…

At school growing up, I was the kid who hated groups, was much more likely to politely befriend teachers and other staff than classmates, and was laden with all manner of odds-and-ends school supplies. I was only approached by classmates for ridicule or for such supplies: hole punchers, extra paper and pencils, sharpeners, dictionary and thesaurus (yes, I literally carried one of each to school every day for years), hand sanitizer, tissues, pain relievers and antacids, extra snacks, extra feminine supplies...etc. I was a walking, talking supply dispenser. It’s very telling of my sun sign to try to be useful, helpful, and ready to keep the day running smoothly.

One thing that caught my attention reexamining my chart was the mention of trying to better things. Because I don’t spend much time in public, I immediately thought of the channel I created last year for World of Warcraft on Discord. I have consistently played a rogue for the last 6 years on the same game server, embodying my inner hermit; World of Warcraft is a multi-player game, yet I largely only play solo, opting to do tasks others don’t tend to enjoy as much. The game celebrates real holidays in game under different names. “Hallow’s End” takes place around the time of Halloween, and when Halloween arrived in 2020, I wanted to host something for kids in-game who might not be trick-or-treating due to COVID-19. I created my event and giveaway server in Discord (a third party where you can make servers and chat channels for all manner of groups), complete with a guide I wrote myself for the events and links to the items I was giving away, and I spent most of the day on Halloween helping people get an easily-obtained pet, putting on 5-minute skits created with the intention to entertain any kids for a few minutes, and hosting giveaways of in-game items for each of the two factions.

The success of my first Hallow’s End event was mixed - most players today are adults, but I happily helped anyone who wanted in on my events. I then hosted events for “Winter Veil” in December, and with all the holidays in that time-frame, I wound up writing out a 19-page guide for it. My New Year’s Day this year was spent helping 32 people (it was supposed to be 21 for each faction for a total of 42 people) get that same easily-obtained pet and hosting more in-game giveaways. And for the last several years, I have gifted random people items for a good deed or if I saw them having a rough day. Usually, it makes me feel better and makes the recipient happy too. Is it absolute proof of astrology working? No. But in World of Warcraft, people who do the things I do are rare. It’s far more common to run into someone spewing toxic insults in the group-based tasks. Few go out of their way to try to improve another player’s experience, and for nothing in return. Despite my inner hermit, I do enjoy trying to make someone else’s day better, and often wish I could do more.

On a level that is not based so much on thought and logic, there is the unmistakable inner connection with my element. Rather, elements. My chart is ruled heavily by earth and fire signs, and if I am open to exploring internally, examples of my inner turmoils and strengths are often depicted as such: crumbling pitfalls, stones and shores beat upon and worn by pools and oceans of emotion, defiant mountains that stand despite whatever the other elements can inflict upon them. Emotions can run hot, but hidden and cooled like the thermal vents submerged at the oceans’ dark, cold depths or the lava churning restlessly, deep within a volcano. It is active, but others might never see any sign of it.

If we discuss the Western Zodiac, we must also account for the signs represented by the Lunar calendar. This means I am representative also of metal, which possibly ties to both that undecided ruler of my sun sign and to my Lunar zodiac, which sees 12 animals paired with one of 5 elements for a cycle that is 60 years long. The year of my birth coincides with the sheep or goat and the element of metal. There will not be anyone represented by both this animal and element until my 60th year, so in theory these traits should be even more individualized than that of the Western Zodiac.

Self improvement to me is very much like mining the metal from the earth (determining what is usable and valuable), heating it (forging through impassioned emotions ruled by an Aries moon?), and creating the desired tool with applied pressure; the lame metalsmith at work. That combines two different zodiacs, though, so perhaps that’s cheating… But I did say to count one is to count them all, and it’s so much fun!

It’s not all pressure and fire, though. While progress is needed, I can’t deny how it pangs my heart to see human construction ripping apart the Earth and human-made skylines ruining the sight of mountains. That our growth as a species threatens all we come into contact with, changing anything we don’t see as useful to us into anything else we want, without regard for other living things and ecosystems. It cuts deep; not unlike a gorge in the heart. The exception to this being something like the Pueblo cliff dwellings - now that is melding man’s design with nature.

I may as well draw attention to my birthplace if we’re going to be talking about the influences of symbols and elements. For a proper birth chart, for example, the time of birth and location of birth plays a large role in determining where the celestial bodies were and to what degree they influence the chart. Were I born elsewhere or at a different time, the alignments of the planets would be different, and affect the chart accordingly. In theory.

Colorado, meaning “the color red”, is a land-locked mountain state, dominated by the Rocky Mountains. Not all Earth signs will be born in mountain terrain, no doubt, but let me share my connection and pride for this land. Many of our state wonders are born of the earth: the Pueblo cliff dwellings, Mesa Verde plateau, the sand dunes, Red Rocks Amphitheatre (where I received my diploma for graduating high school), Garden of the Gods, the Continental Divide, the Royal Gorge, the Ancestral Rockies, Dinosaur Ridge with its amazing trackways of preserved dinosaur footprints. There’s even a Tyrannosaurus that has its own street address, as we are also a fossil-rich state, though our state fossil is the plated, herbivorous Stegosaurus. And of course, one of the largest tourist draws of the state: our mountains themselves. Whether it’s hiking, skiing, rock climbing, camping, hunting our elk, fishing, or just admiring the wildlife, our Rockies are a central part to many outdoor activities, and our highest peak is Pikes Peak at 14,000 feet. I didn’t have to look any of this up - I grew up learning about all of them. Is it state pride, merely a fascination with nature, or a connection with my sun sign? I honestly can’t tell you. Maybe it’s a mix. Anything here to do with the natural rock is astounding, though, and I dare anyone to not fall in love with that beauty.

Earth extends beyond rock, though. Earth includes all that grows from it: trees, bushes, flowers. This is why my sun sign is represented by a woman holding grain. Fertile earth gives birth to all that sustains the food chain, and those that harvest the fruits must sift through to find the usable. When I am truly enveloped in my writing, does it not feel like the roots of trees searching the depths of the soils for more nutrients from which to pull from? Does it not feel like the growth of new branches and leaves filling out the image and bringing life to the art? Even the morbid stages of natural decay are evident in my everyday thinking: take the old and spent to deconstruct it, reuse what is viable, and recreate using that material.

It rings true. Now if only I could actually grow something… In my defense, my beloved Water-bearer did not live up to his title while I was away housesitting the last few times I’ve attempted to start growing plants. They were doing well before I left.

That said, he fully exhibits the traits of Aquarius. Moreover, the compatibility is spot-on in most cases; I do the worrying, and it is maddening how little he worries in comparison. It’s a good relationship: we see eye to eye on most political issues and how humans should treat one another, hardly ever have an issue we can’t talk out quickly and effectively, both of us adore critters and have a household of them… Overall, it’s great. Maybe a little bit of a disconnect because I am worried over something and he does not seem to grasp the why, but if that’s the only trouble area, I can handle that. We are both very independent and enjoy doing our own things, and it works well for us.

Looking at other family members and past lovers… It would be easy for me to identify them as their signs if I didn’t even know them. My dad is an intelligent, sometimes confusing Gemini (a supposed product of being born under the sign of the Twins). My mother, the striking scorpion, is poised to take on any challenge that comes her way fearlessly. My sister, born under my opposite, is the Pisces, happy to swim through her life. And at the center of the family, represented by the Scales, my brother. His disabilities make it difficult to discern many traits, but there is no doubt in my mind that he does, in fact, bring balance to the family dynamic, and is the central focus. I could argue that my willingness to care for him when our parents cannot is also indicative of my sign.

A former friend born under Aquarius and I would make a game of guessing random people’s signs when we went to hang out in our early twenties. I was much better at it - in fact, I don’t think there was a time I didn’t guess correctly. Typically, we allowed only one guess for each of us, but we might make an exception and allow two each if the person was more difficult to decipher. She always had to approach and ask the person though, as she was much more willing to talk to strangers, which fits the typical dynamic of two such friends. We stopped hanging out shortly after though because she jumped headlong into experiences that I felt were unacceptably unsafe.

One of the most insulting and confusing things I’ve been told (more than once), is that talking to me even in a friendly setting can be a lot like receiving a job interview. I’m not quite sure what to do with that, but it’s also something you might expect of my sign. It may sound stereotypical, but it’s 100% authentic and true - this has happened.

Now that I've shared my illogical experiences that could theoretically support the case for astrology and other “determining” factors, let me explain what I do take from such ideas, regardless of if they are true occurrences or not.

I accept most of the traits from as many of these as I can as loose parameters: whether it’s written in the cosmos, the product of mental health, the subconscious pull to make a self-fulfilling prophecy out of such information, or just a general understanding of the creative writing question, “what makes us human”, I think it is important to act within these types of parameters. I can’t tell you if I’m anymore likely than another to be helpful, but I seem to be that way and I’m happy to continue to be helpful. I may be a worrywart and maybe many of the things I fret over won’t come up at all, but I can’t say I don’t enjoy trying to solve the problems I see - if only mentally, to myself. I don’t see an issue with looking at these traits and deciding to take notice of them; how to grow in these areas or to minimize the negatives.

Maybe astrology and the like were developed to explain mental issues. Maybe they were made as a guide for how to navigate life if you fit under a certain set of markers. Or guidelines. I see parallels between characterizations of the signs and signs of mental health issues - results of trauma and abuse. I also see parallels with just living an acceptable life, depending on what kind of life we seek.

I mentioned cause and effect early on. Time and time again, in various examples, we see that, “if this happens, this must happen in response”. Equivalent exchange. Abuse. Physics. If you remove trees from an area, there are no longer roots to hold the ground together effectively, and it can erode much more quickly. If you treat someone poorly constantly over time, resentment will grow. If you take a handful of water from a basin, remaining water rushes in to fill the new void. If you are a perfectionist, you will become nitpicky and constantly seek faults to eradicate them.

All these traits, I consider parameters to operate within. The usable ones. The helpful ones. But it’s still important to be aware of the negative traits, to identify them and know how to deal with them when they crop up. The levels of Chi, the four elements; the idea of balance internally and/or externally is repeated throughout history. Finding a balance is not a new train of thought, and people have been sharing their how-to guides on how to do it since mankind began. It is a human thing to make the complicated simple and categorize things, and to me this is what astrology and related practices mean to do. They are meant to be used as tools to identify and organize human experiences.

These symbols and characterizations are fascinating in all respects, and I enjoy debating myself on what they are and what they mean and what they do. It’s fun to think maybe there’s more to them, but at the end of the day, I conclude them to be tools. Still some odd coincidences, and my conclusion is tentative. I think this is what they do, but I’m not 100% certain.

Do I feel connected to my sign? Do I recognize it in me? Yes, undoubtedly. What exactly I recognize though… I’m happy to keep putting that under a microscope.

So now that I’ve laid out my thoughts, what conclusion do you draw? Did the paper smack of the analytical? Was it thorough? I’ve tried to make practical sense and use out of astrology of all things. And admittedly, I can think of no other sign that would do so, and so readily. If you haven’t picked up from the title and all the other clues scattered within, let me ask you this: have you yet identified me as a Virgo?