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Mental strength is not something you are born with.


By Dylan M ParkinPublished 2 years ago 6 min read

Mental strength is not something you are born with.

Through specific methods, training "mind power", mental quality can be improved.

The specific approach is to understand clearly your own psychological characteristics, the right remedy, constant correction, which is a mandatory course for everyone's mind.

Why are you often mentally exhausted? Tracing the root cause, there are the following points.

1. Negative preferences

We have all experienced these scenarios: most of the day went peacefully and smoothly, but a reprimand from the leader, a scolding from a customer, a complaint from a loved one, a misunderstanding from a close friend ...... then put a shadow on the mood of the whole day.

In fact, these "bad things" only account for at best a few tenths of the day's events, but it can so dominate our consciousness. Then there are the 'bad things' that have happened in the past and those that may happen in the future that can unconsciously haunt us.

Because 'negative preferences' cause us to pay more attention to negative information and events and unconsciously ignore most of the positive, good things.

Most people who lack awareness will live a life of "being in good but living in trouble" under the manipulation of this genetic force.

Moreover, to hedge against the effects of one bad thing, we often need to create multiple good things of equal magnitude. For example, in a couple's relationship, it takes at least five acts of kindness to make up for the damage caused by one critical word.

So in order to be at ease in a world influenced by "negative preferences" and have a strong psyche, we must also learn to self-regulate.

2. Happy adaptation

Some people may say that being tossed and turned is because of bad luck, and that if we live in an environment without any threats and worries we can become strong inside. This idea is beautiful, but not realistic.

It is argued that when we live a worry-free life we will indeed be happy for a while, but will soon return to the original baseline of happiness. Because our brain is an extremely strong adaptor, when a new stimulus appears, the nerve cells will react strongly, but then they will gradually "get used to it" and after adaptation, the stimulus response will tend to moderate. So no matter what happens, we will eventually adapt slowly.

From the inside of the brain, "adaptation" is actually a kind of balance. The brain cannot keep itself in an imbalanced state of excitement or depression, because in such a state, energy would be quickly depleted, which would threaten survival. Out of self-preservation, the brain actively regulates its internal environment to bring it into some kind of balance.

However, once equilibrium is reached, it also means that life changes from dynamic to static. Static things are easily ignored by the brain, because dynamic things often contain novelty and danger, to which the brain is particularly sensitive, while static things imply safety and boredom, and the brain will actively ignore them in order to save energy.

In other words, no matter what happy environment you live in, you can slowly lose awareness, take everything for granted, and then ignore it.

Our brains are like this, by default, and will always judge reality as better or worse by the level to which it has now adapted.

3. Near Big, Far Small

No matter which way you look at it, the human triple brain is like a problem spotter and an emotional worrier rather than a bright spotter and a happiness feeler. We are natural worriers-another big part of human nature!

And according to the law of near big and far small, the more we focus on something the bigger it gets. When all we see is worry, we don't realize the world is a good place, we feel bad everywhere, and our mind power naturally weakens.

So if you feel that you are in a low energy mental state, please don't be depressed, because you are not alone, other people are like this, this is actually our normal state.

So how to become a strong person inside? Mention the following points.

1. Use different perspectives to see things

The "Funniest Money Book" is a good tip. In the book, the talking dog, Money, asks his owner, Gia, to take out a book to record all the things she does successfully every day, any small thing, and write at least 5 items every day, and names the book "Success Diary".

To the adult eye, this practice is somewhat childish, but it is a powerful tool to hedge against human "negative preferences" because it helps us actively discover the bright spots in ourselves and in our lives, compensating for our brain's natural deficiencies.

Gia built her confidence by keeping a success journal. When she first started public speaking, she was very resistant and scared, but when she opened her journal, she found that she had so many successes that she immediately gained confidence.

Don't underestimate the power of this practice (writing it down). Often, the gap between people lies in the last bit of action, after all, life leaves us with enough, we just don't pay enough attention to it ourselves.

When it comes to recording, the first thing that comes to mind is my own daily reflections. This habit has benefited me greatly, but in hindsight, it has only helped me to better identify and solve problems in my life, still a problem perspective.

To turn on another mode of my brain, the highlight mode, I didn't hesitate to start practicing 'success journaling' in November 2019, though I realized when I actually went to write it myself that it wasn't easy to write 5 highlights a day, but I'm convinced that it works, even though I'm already an adult.

In addition, we can also use the power of imagination. For example, when we are in the doldrums, we can imagine what it would be like to lose what we have, which will help us realize how valuable life is and focus on what we already have.

If we always focus on what we don't have, I'm afraid we will live in unhappiness all day long. And how can an unhappy person go after a strong core with a light heart?

When we encounter troubles ourselves, we can then imagine staying away. According to the principle of far small and near big, even the biggest troubles put in the distance seem to be nothing, while even the smallest happiness put in front of the eyes will become big happiness.

After all, in terms of quantity, annoyances are always a few in a day or a lifetime, and we can't let them stand so close that they obscure the many good things. Just like if you accidentally get "scolded" by your boss, remind yourself that it's only a few tenths of a day, and it shouldn't hang around in front of your eyes, but should go back to its original place.

You can also use the assumption that time away from the method, with three to five years later, the perspective of the current, you will usually feel that the immediate worries become insignificant.

2. Out of the world of dichotomy

The real world is complex, and if we keep living in a dualistic world, our living space will become very narrow, because the deeper we go into life and society, the more we will come into contact with people we don't like and things we don't like.

We will encounter bosses we don't like, colleagues we don't like, jobs we don't like, impatience with the nagging of elderly parents, upset with the crying of young children ...... If there is only disgust and rejection of everything, wouldn't that be depressing for life?

Therefore, a psychologically strong person is bound to move from a "dualistic world" to a "pluralistic world", and our thinking is bound to move from "dualistic opposition" to "pluralistic mutual existence". If we do not actively step out of the world of duality, we will never recognize the true appearance of the world and be unable to cope with the complexity and chaos.

After all, the world has layers.


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