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Men Are Not the Problem, Stop Saying All Men Are Trash

Single women are single for the same reasons men are single.

By Katya KovalPublished about a year ago 3 min read
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Men Are Not the Problem, Stop Saying All Men Are Trash
Photo by Agustin Fernandez on Unsplash

The amount of hate, blame, and pessimism women throw at men have gone out of hand.

“I’d rather stay single because men are trash.”

“I’m single because men are useless.”

It’s honestly sad and shameful.

Women need to realize that men are not the problem.

You know who the problem is?

If you’re single, have been for a while now, and don’t know why, you should look at yourself in the mirror, and you’ll find the answer.

You need to stop this culture of overgeneralization of sexes and instead focus on bettering yourself. You need to focus on becoming a better individual. You need to take accountability and stop blaming others for your shortcomings.

Look, there’s nothing wrong with being single, especially if it’s voluntary. But if it’s involuntary, you need to stop, reflect, and assess — maybe it’s YOU who’s the problem.

I’m not just talking to single women but also the men who constantly blame the other sex for their awful dating life.

Here’s a reality check:

It’s not them, it’s YOU.

You’re single because:

1. You have terrible social skills.

You’re awkward. You don’t get social cues.

Sure, you can strike up a conversation, but when you do, it usually doesn’t go well. Most times you’re out of sync and behave or talk in a way that turns people off.

Don’t worry, though. This is fixable.

You just need to study the art of conversations and practice. Learn about deciphering facial expressions, body movements, tone of voice, and so on. You can even write down what to say. Memorize stories, jokes, conversation starters, ice-breakers, one-liners, or anything interesting to say or share.

Yes, it takes time to improve. But if you want a better dating life, you need to put in the effort instead of whining and blaming others.

2. You have unrealistic expectations.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have standards because you should. But if your dream guy is a man who looks like Henry Cavill, is six feet tall, and makes a six-figure annual income, then good luck never finding him. Not only is that unrealistic, but it’s also too superficial.

I suggest you look at a person’s personality, values, beliefs, and intelligence instead of focusing on looks and money. Looks fade, and money can deplete, but a person’s heart rarely changes.

3. You are damaged and/or toxic.

Do I really need to explain this?

If you’re a terrible human being with a lot of mental and emotional issues, of course, no one is going to want to date you.

Likewise, if you constantly attack the male or female population — i.e., you’re a hardcore feminist, anti-feminist, or misogynist (who spreads negativity and hate both online and offline), then, of course, people will stay away from you. (At least, the sane ones will.)

The only cure for your insanity is professional help, and I suggest you do seek counseling.

Stop Blaming Others and Work on Yourself

Regardless if you’re a man or woman, you have no business dating anyone until you’ve sorted yourself out. Work on yourself — improve and become a better person. Stop blaming others.

If this blog helped you in any way, or if you agree or disagree with what I wrote, leave a comment.

You can read my other existing vocal blogs here:

Why Men Have Given Up On Dating Women

Why Men Don’t Open Up (And How Women Can Support Men)

I write about Men's Issues and Mental Health.

humanity
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About the Creator

Katya Koval

I talk about men's issues and international dating.

Staff Writer & General Consultant for A-Foreign-Affair.com

Find me on:

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Comments (1)

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  • Prosper Boji Jrabout a year ago

    Someone once said "you're single, not alone, so make an effort with those around you and stop complaining"

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