Dating: Do's & Don'ts
Dating: Do's & Don'ts


by Isabel Melim 10 months ago in dating

Why are you so complicated?


Some men are nice. Truly, they are. I have met some nice guys. They exist...but apparently, I never aim for those. Because some men complicate things. And they are confusing.

Mind you, I am not one of those girls that support the ridiculous stereotype that "all men are trash." That is not true! Not all men are trash, I have an example at home. A great one actually. My stepdad. He is a fine man. So, hearing some so-called "feminists" on Twitter or in any other social media, claiming that "all men are trash" annoys me. There's no need to place people in bubbles. To create more stereotypes than we already have. The world does not need it, thank you!

But some men...some men are simply a mess. They make it seem like they really care about you. They say they want to travel the world with you, they want to take you to hotels, they want to make plans with get the picture, right? Yet, you are never enough. These so-called "men," make it seem as if they care about you. They make you feel special. even annoys you how obsessed they become with you. Texting you all the time, trying to get you to do things with them...and eventually, you succumb. You succumb because you feel loved.

Until you realise they only need you for one thing only. For sex. Yes, I am sorry I am being blunt, but they need you for sex. And everything goes to waste. You don't feel special anymore. You feel like a whore. You feel dirty and disgusted for believing in him and for giving in to him. They say they didn't mean it. They say they weren't sure if they loved someone else. Because there is always someone else.

I mean...maybe I am the problem. I always say I don't want a relationship, because I am too focused on my career. But it's not as if I don't want someone in my life. I do want to connect with someone and feel loved. I don't want to be treated as an object. I don't want to be just a distraction on the weekends. Just because a woman is sexual, doesn't mean that she is a slut and only thinks about "booty calls." I am not that person.

But of course...there's always another woman. And I pity her, you know? Because he says that he is in love with her, but still insists to talk with me. He says he wants something stable and that she can give that to him. But still wants to Skype with me. Because some women are seen as stable. Others are seen as dirty...and as whores. Because some men want a respectable woman but also someone who can fuck them good. Well, guess what? Some women can do both. If not all women.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think all men are the same. Some men really respect women and understand that we are human beings like them. That we both have desires and that we both are very sexual beings. Some men really understand that and are honest from the beginning. And I want to thank those men for that!

But some men still see some of us as whores. Yes, I really want to use that word. Because we live in a world where a woman is considered a whore if she is sexual. And society creates that stereotype. And you feel dirty. And you feel bad with yourself. For being sexual with a man! With a man who confuses you. Fuck society and stereotypes!

However, I never seem to be good enough.

It's always like "I care about you, but there's someone else."

"I care about you, but I am not into a relationship."

"I care about you, but..."

It's a world full of "buts." Just be honest from the very beginning. You don't a relationship? Fine. You have someone else? Fine. Trust me, I am cool with that. Just don't make it seem like you care, because you don't. Don't make us feel like whores, because we don't like to be used and thrown away like garbage. Or better yet. Keep thinking about us as whores. You know why?

Because "I’m the girl you’ve been thinking about/The one thing you can’t live without/I’m the girl you’ve been waiting for/I’ll have you down on your knees/ I’ll have you begging for more." And although I can be your whore, the dirt you created, and your sinner, "let me tell you something baby/You love me for everything you hate me for" (In This Moment—"Whore"). Maria Brink really gets me.

Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Isabel Melim

I am just a girl who loves theatre, books and movies! I will write about topics that I love. I hope you all enjoy it :D

See all posts by Isabel Melim