Finding the Meaning in Relationships
Relationships are things that all humans long for. In my view relationships are some of the best things, but also some of the worst things. Some relationships have helped me strive in life, and some have made me a mess. Although some relationships end badly, I still think every person is placed in our life for a reason.
I try to focus on the relationships that have made me happy, made me belong. People want to feel as if they belong, whether in our family or with our friends is a key part of a meaningful relationship. I have felt sometimes if I do not belong in my family or a group of friends, but I have many other friends that make me feel like I do belong. In some sense when someone gives you the satisfaction of belonging, who feel as if your presence is more important on the earth. When people feel lonely no one seems to understand them and then negative emotions come pouring out.
Relationships can also help transform your life, by learning from the negative relationships to becoming a better person from positive relationships. I am lucky to say that I have some really meaningful relationships that have helped me live a happier life. I have also had relationships that have turned me into a mess, by that I mean they fell apart in a way that made me look at myself in more of a negative way. In either scenario, I am thankful for the relationship that had been given to me.
All relationships the good, bad and ugly have a way of affecting our life and in all these cases there are different ways to interpret how it can affect life. I never take a relationship for granted, not even the bad ones because I know God had put me in that relationship for a reason. For me, it is really hard to open up to people because I have been through things that have made it hard for me, engage with new people.
Over the summer I met a new friend, one that I grew really close to and I believed that I had found someone else I could really open up to. I told her about all the obstacles I was facing, stuff I do not tell most people. The summer was great I spent so many days with her and my best friend. The school year then started up and would still text her, days went by and I never got a text back. I texted her asking if I had done anything that upset her. A couple of hours later I got a text from her explaining how every time we had gotten together our conversations were always negative and how she could not have that in her life right now, but that we could still be friends. I went into my bathroom and sat down crying asking God why he would take someone else out of my life, someone I told stuff I was not proud of. Yes, she said we were still friends, but in reality, we were not anymore. “How could you be a friend with someone who does not want to talk to you and does not need your words in their life?” I started having a panic attack thinking that this was how all my friends saw me. The next couple weeks were hard for me. Today it is still hard for me to look at pictures of when I had her as a friend.
I have focused on this friendship a lot, realizing that it is ok to miss her but to not be fixated on it because God had put so many other friendships in my life. Today in my life I am trying to focus on the relationships in my life instead of the ones that have fallen apart. In all my relationships I try and find the meaning because each one has a different meaning.