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Maybe the Problem Is With You!

by Nora Huber 5 months ago in advice
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Find Out Whether or Not You Are Made to Be In a Stable Relationship

Maybe the Problem Is With You!
Photo by Oziel Gómez on Unsplash

When it comes to love, most women want a long-term relationship that will make them feel protected and understood, the kind of connection that gives them the feeling that they are "at home."

For many women, the stability of the relationship matters even more than the idea of ​​passion and adventure that some seek in love.

But some women do not think so. Maybe they tried to get into serious relationships, to make long-term commitments, but they simply failed. The reasons are very varied.

Some women have gone through traumatic experiences and are no longer able to invest trust in a new relationship.

Others want to always feel the thrills of early love, and when the strong sensations begin to dissipate, they feel disconnected and looking for a new love, to experience once again the feeling of "butterflies in the stomach" and emotional whirlwind. Such women go from one love to another, always looking for the thrill of their first date.

Such people feel very comfortable with their choices, but under pressure from acquaintances, family, or groups of friends, they begin to doubt the correctness of their choices and wonder if there is something wrong with their way of life. love.

If they do therapy or personal development, some of these women may find that they are afraid of a stable relationship for various reasons, but they want to make a long-term commitment. When their problems are solved, their relationships also change, becoming steady and long-lasting.

Influences from childhood

If in your childhood you had a negative pattern of long-term relationships, for example, if your parents or other married people seemed unhappy with you, you might run away from such relationships.

And the opposite is true: if you have seen very happy people who do not have a stable relationship, but move from one connection to another, it is possible to form the idea that such relationships are preferable.

There is also the possibility that you have gone through traumas that have made you lose confidence in love. If you did not have a secure attachment to your parents or a caregiver and loved one, you may develop a tendency to run away from long-term relationships so that you do not suffer.

If it's a past problem that bothers you and keeps you away from long-term relationships, you need to resolve this conflict before you can decide what you want to do next in your life.

It is okay to be alone or to move from one relationship to another, if you are reconciled with the past and decide that you prefer this style of relationship or that it suits the stage of life you are in, at least for now.

A certain type of personality

Maybe your personality is formed this way and any long-term relationship seems compelling to you. On the other hand, social pressures can lead you to either give up your conceptions and values ​​about married life and thus inhibit your need for independence, or to exaggerate that need, even when you are willing to stay longer. a relationship.

To assert your personality authentically, you need to know yourself very well and explore all the motivations that underlie your relationship decisions. You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people, from friends to potential partners.

Find answers that satisfy you with those phrases that label you as immature, superficial, self-sufficient, or with a phobia of entering into a relationship.

You want more experiences

Maybe you are in a stage of life in which you want to experiment as much as possible, with the idea of ​​getting to know yourself better and seeing what kind of partner suits you. The moment you admit to yourself that you do not want a stable relationship, you need to find the strength and the ways to say it in front of the important people in your life.

Some people may disagree with your decisions, especially your parents, who have more conservative values, or friends who are in a stable relationship and judge you by their principles.

Some friends may even feel that their relationship may be threatened by your presence and ease. Once you have assumed how you want to live in the present, do not be intimidated or influenced by the opinions of others.

You don't want to give up multiple possibilities

Especially young people do not want to have the feeling of limiting the possibilities and are trapped in a single relationship. Of course, the hardest part is explaining to a potential partner that you don't want a nailed relationship and that you want to keep your freedom.

If you meet people who want the same type of relationship as you, everything is fine.

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Nora Huber

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