Marriage

Marriage is hard work. Please don’t be fool at the illusion Hollywood portrays about this picture perfect life. You know the one; Prince Charming for a husband, the perfect housewife for a wife and the most respectful kids and The nice little dog that seems to just be a friendly people person. Oh and let’s not forget the the husband and wife seem to never argue and they seem to always have it all together? Oh is that the dream you were looking for when you got married? Well wipe that dream out of your head. In fact forget it ever existed. Because in reality a true real life marriage consist of two people who are more than likely difficult to deal with to each other and the more than likely are flawed to know end but for some reason these two people just can’t leave each other and they genuinely love each other so they marry each other and find out shortly after getting married that those problems that used to be small problems all of a sudden become huge problems. Now you find yourself agitated and hating your wife or your husband’s guts because everything they do seem to be so magnified. If you are like me you wondered over and over again did you make the right decision? Well yes you made the right decision. You made the decision to make a commitment to the one person in the world who was willing to make a commitment to you. Now the both of y’all are finding each other’s flaws and you are focusing on the wrong the other person has done or the hurt they have caused you and you are overlooking to what extent have you done wrong and to what extent have you caused hurt to the other person. You know how you may sit and cry to yourself but do you stop and think how something you said or did may have caused your wife or your husband to cry or feel hurt? I bet you thinking the same thing I was thinking, what could I possibly be doing to hurt this man or this woman’s feelings right? Well believe it or not you may be doing things that would otherwise be no biggie to you but to your husband or wife it is detrimental. I know this because my husband has told me I say and do things to him that I find to be not that big of a deal and he swears I hurt his Feelings but then he will turn around and say some of the most nastiest things to Me and then think everything is cool. So in that sense I feel like we could learn to be more sensitive to the other person’s needs and feelings. My husband will say I hurt his feelings when I tell him to not touch me (especially if I’m sleeping and he sticking his finger in my ear, that annoys me to no end). For some reason that hurts his feelings. Although it’s no biggie to me, it may truly hurt him just like when he talk about how I eat or anything concerning my weight that really hurts me to the core because I am trying to work on breaking my habit of over eating. It’s really a struggle for me and I want to lose the weight and stop overeating. Moral of the story try to be careful of the things you say and do to your husband or wife because you never know how it may make them feel. Also don’t judge them for whatever they are doing especially if you know you have something that you do that is not right, and I will leave it at that.

Does anyone other than my husband and I have kids that they had before the marriage or even the relationship? Well when I met my husband I was pregnant with my now one year old daughter and well he took her in as his own and we eventually just had a 3 month son together. Well just based on how I grew up with my step father being physically and verbally abusive towards me and my brother especially when my mom would go to work and he would get drunk and come in with his mess. I just think of all the times I had to fight him because of what he would do and say to my brother and I. After that experience I vowed to always protect my children no matter what. I would never allow anyone to harm my children. That being said my husband and I fall out from time to time over him disciplining the kids. I don’t feel comfortable honestly with no one disciplining my kids other than me and the reason why is because I know when my kids need to be disciplined. That’s just me. You may disagree with me and that is fine. But until you have lived my life and know my story please don’t say oh you wrong. You need to let that man be the man and whatever else because you don’t live my life so you don’t understand my reasoning. I am working on trust but until then I will have to keep up what I’m doing to seek help.

My husband and I need marriage counseling this is what I know. We have terrible communication issues and among a few other issues it’s becoming a strain. But because I am a fighter and he is too, we are going to fight this thing together and build our marriage even when we can’t stand one another. We have vowed to always stand with each other through good and bad sickness and in health. Rich or poor. We made a promise to love and honor one another and even though we are working on the honor part and sometime the love part too, we are still standing and we will be alright. I hope my story has helped someone. If it has helped you please show your appreciation and like it and maybe tip me to. 🥰🤗 thank you in advance for all you do.