Loving the Free Spirited Over Thinker

by Michael N. Chin about a month ago in love

A free spirited lover with a mind on overdrive

Loving the Free Spirited Over Thinker
A Purple Heart Within a Heart of Stone

When you're with a free spirited sensitive over-thinker, trust them and believe them when they say say, "I love you." They have chosen you, your heart, your soul, and your mind. They love you with such depth, passion, and intensity that it'll change you from the inside out.

They have been broken in the past that made them a little insecure. They have learned and experienced from a thousand lessons. They have grown and learned to heal themselves. They have paid their soul's debts for the many mistakes they have made.

They have already thought of a million reasons not to love you. They have thought of a million reasons how to be rid of you. They have thought of a million ways to run away from you. They know the rewards and the risks of fully opening their hearts, souls, and minds once again. They're no longer afraid to stand alone in what they truly believe in and in themselves.

So trust and believe in them when they say they love you. They will leave you with no room to ever doubt them and their loyalty is yours for lifetimes to come.

Beware, sometimes they'll leave you in a heartbeat or push you away if they feel scared. Meanwhile others like them will stand and fan the flames with given patience and security. If they run and leave, then you know they're not ready for they have not fully faced the dark side of themselves.

So what's in store with intimate relationships being with a free spirited over thinker you might ask? Be prepared for a wild ride because it's going to take a special person to with with one! If you truly understand what they want, need, and desire in love and life you can create a strong long lasting relationship with them that will be one of the greatest experiences in your lifetime.

One of the greatest things about dating an over thinker is that they can plan in their heads like nobody's business and it can happen wicked fast before you even put a pen to paper. They can think through all the details within a split second of a grand adventure or vacation or a party in your honor. On the flip side it can be hard for them to nail down to doing just one thing so be prepared to do a lot of things at once.

One of the sweetest things about dating a free spirited over thinker is that some of them still believe in 'the one'. It's sweet but dangerous all at the same time. Despite all their past baggage and today's dating world brings, they still believe in the ideal that you're the fairy tale partner especially if both of you carry a history together of crossing paths. However if you don't have the same motivations and ideals in relationships, then you need to let them know fast. It will prevent them from hours of overthinking torture in their head that they would rather avoid going through again.

They strongly believe that there's good in every walk of life, which can get them into pure trouble sometimes. They strive to be super genuine and they definitely need you to be different too. Authenticity is one of their strong belief systems while bringing out the best in others.

Some of an over thinkers strengths are they act empathically on intuition and instincts due to their sheer amount of knowledge, experiences, and wisdom that grew from it. They act or reacting on things that were heavily thought out especially when it comes to relationships. Another key strength is their ability to quickly adapt to their environment and surroundings. This is due to the fact that they do well in life with living in the moment which sometimes got them into trouble. Sometimes those moments caused anxiety about the future, however, they are great at seeing a million ways any situation can play out for them so they quickly plan in their heads how best to handle each scenario and surprisingly at wicked speeds. If you just wait a moment with them and play your hand right, you'll be able to see the big grand picture and enjoy what's going on the the present and how their mind turns in everywhere direction. Again this can make for grand adventures, passionate, and loving relationship or it can make it difficult to achieve.

Another awesome thing about over thinkers is that they can let their brains run wild and free and you'll end up talking about anything and everything under the sun with them at the spur of the moment in most cases. If you help them keep the conversation focused, you'll enjoy and fall in love with their magically brilliant brain and accept it for what it is and you'll never be bored being around and communicating with them. So prepare yourself for some crazy and epic conversations that will leave you in wonderment and awe.

It can be mentally exhausting and frustrating for over thinkers to live in humanity's plane of existence. They spend so much time thinking, worrying, and planning on the future of what might become that they sometimes miss out and enjoy the here and now. You will need to be able to give them some of their space that's non-threatening to the relationship. One of the most important things is you have let them come to their decisions on their own time and terms. It's tough at times, but if you know that's the way your over thinker works in relationships, then this will prepare you to help give them that space they need.

Free spirited over thinkers place their entire heart and soul into their relationships especially when they connect with their ideal lover so much so that it causes them to worry about the future. Just give them compassion, time, space, and patience to recognize that things are okay between you two and always communicate what you mean. Being loved by and in love with an over thinker, the key to avoiding fights in your relationship is being at communicating your every thought and feeling. Be ready for both sides to explain reasoning with clear feeling and logic with zero passive language. This will help indicate that both sides are willing to actively listen and ownership of any actions. Tue over thinkers will have a field day with cryptic messages so don’t give them any ammunition to think on. Be clear about what you want and need so there is no second guessing on the over thinker’s part. Don't leave any room for interpretation when it comes to your words, messages, emails, phone calls or interactions with a lover who is an over thinker. The biggest problem yet at the same time another one of the over thinker's strengths is that they have the ability to read between all the lines, even when it's clear that there are no lines to read at all. So ensure there are no room for error or confusion so you don't have to keep clarifying your messages. If you allow your communication to become blurred in anyway, which usually happens when people are lazy, lack communication skills, or chris cross with their communication, then you’ll run into trouble with them because their minds are already turning at the speed of lightning before you can even catch up to your own.

Another problem you may come across being in love with an over thinker is that they are often plagued by indecision. This means that they will spend more time thinking about doing something than actually do it, if at all which can sometimes be annoying and frustrating even to themselves. If you're in a relationship with an over thinker, keep in mind that sometimes you may need to take lead on some of decisions in the relationship. Now I'm not saying at all that your over thinking partner isn't capable of providing valuable insight into any decision making scenarios. Sometimes they might not get passed the assessment phase of a decision or take an elongated amount of time to a final decision so sometimes you may want to call the shots from time to time or lead them in the right direction.

Another negative aspect of loving a over thinker, especially in the early phases you are going to get the odd statement showing insecurity or unsure of something. Over thinkers can’t help themselves sometimes reading into everything no matter if it's good or bad messages. Set parameters around your conversations and modes of communication so that you don’t find yourselves caught in the middle of a miscommunication issue that could have been avoided altogether. Make sure everything of major importance to discuss, make it a point that both of you will always have a conversation so that the over thinker doesn’t have to worry about what is not being said, leaving zero room for error.

Sometimes the over thinking lover can spiral out of control sometimes. You may need to step right in the middle of their thoughts and change the conversation or force a decision to take place. Sometimes the gears have to be shifted by completely leaving the room, going for a walk, dancing around the house, fill it with laughter, change the subject, any other millions of therapeutic ways you can distract someone who is worrying about anything. It’s not going to work all the time, but you will want to get good at trying to distract them from their thoughts and your own if this is you as well.

Let's conclude the final psychological spin about the free spirited over thinker and this may sound a bit narcissistic in nature, but honestly it's not. There is a concept circling among psychological studies that some people, especially if you're the over thinking man naturally have the biological drive and will power to feel needed, important, and provide for the woman he deeply and passionately cares a great deal. He wants to see himself as a hero, someone that his partner genuinely wants to have around and not just as another partner in crime or best friend, but as an equaled and balanced lover side by side.

This applies so much to the over thinker, especially male because you can’t fight against his natural bio-engineered instincts with more over thinking. As for the female that he so loves and deems the most high, you can draw this out of him by being authentic and simply show him what you need and what you want, allowing him to step up to fulfill it either right away or if time permits then patience will win him over.

So there you have it. So if you're in love with a free spirited over thinker and they are in love with you, then trust and believe in them when they say they truly love you.

love
Michael N. Chin
Michael N. Chin
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Michael N. Chin

Welcome to the journals, musings, and writings of the Crimson Dragon. My base writings are life stories, poetry, philosophies of life and life, and training/education on the financial markets to bring my life's experiences to the forefront.

See all posts by Michael N. Chin