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Love, When You Least Expect It

How To Know and Make it Last

By I Am A PizzaPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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He has big hands 😂

Love. Whether unspoken, or shouting it from the top of your lungs, holding hands, or shamelessly PDA-ing it in the middle of Walmart, having a partner to share this treasured emotion with is so fulfilling. But, from observing the constant relationship problems and forever alone posts, not all of it is smooth sailing out there.

I will begin by attempting to answer the age old question, "What is love?" I cannot speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself, and I will start from the beginning. Once upon a time, a man with blue in his hair walked into my life... well, more accurately, into the building. My best friend (we will name her Claire) at the time had a boyfriend (we will name him Jace) and they decided for each of their friends to meet (i.e. me being one of hers). We decided to all meet at a little get-together hosted by another friend. Claire and I were there first, patiently waiting on Jace and his friend while simultaneously eating snacks and waiting for the pizza to arrive. I wasn't expecting much to come out of this event, so I frumped it that night and rocked a sweatshirt, skinny jeans, and booties with minimal make-up and a French braid. In the midst of stuffing my face, I see Claire stand up to greet her man at the door. Making a sad attempt to clean myself up, I follow her. Then, I saw him, and I knew I was utterly, completely, and truly done for.

He is tall, hot, and exactly my type. As stated before, he had blue/green in his hair, glasses, and a smile and laugh that made me weak in the knees.

This hairstyle and color is what I'm talking about when I say he had blue in his hair (no, my man is not Markiplier)

Every time we would make eye contact, my heart would skip a beat. Every time we were close, it felt like a whole zoo was in my stomach. Every accidental touch sent fire through my body and evidently to my face because I blushed HARD. I was nervous and thankful that Claire and I had to temporarily leave to do her sister an emergency favor so I could collect myself. I talked nonstop about him the whole trip. After the get together, we all decided to take the fun back to Claire's house. From that time until about 4 in the morning, we snacked, played games, and traded offensive jokes. As soon as they had to leave, I immediately regretted not being more outgoing to his friend (who's actual name is Dorian). I thought I completely blew it. Little did I know how oblivious I was to his flirting (stealing glances, being close to me, and trying to make me laugh). I decided to stay the night at Claire's because of how late it was. I got settled in for the night and did my routine of checking my social media's before falling asleep. Once I made my way to Facebook, I saw he sent me a friend request. HE. SENT. ME. A. FRIEND. REQUEST. I didn't even think he remembered my name. I accepted, and almost immediately, I get a message from him. We talked all night, went on a movie double date with Claire and Jace the next night, he asked me to be his girlfriend after, and have been together ever since that night. We immediately knew we were meant to be and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Our first I love you's came the third day of being a couple, and he asked me to marry him after the first month.

I realize that not all relationships happen this quickly or in this way, but there are secrets to recognize true love and how to make the magic last. Even after over 9 months of being together, it still feels like the beginning. The moment I knew I was in love was when he was the first thing I thought about when I woke up. I looked forward to receiving that sweet good morning message from him, and felt giddy every time I heard my phone go off. I didn't have to force any conversation, it felt like I was getting to know my best friend. Everything led my thoughts to Dorian, and that is when I knew that this was meant to last.

But that does not mean the relationship will be easy. Work from both ends has to be put forth. From our experiences, it is the little things that matter. Your spouse does not have to buy you a Ferrari to prove their love. It's the unexpected forehead kisses, inside jokes, spontaneous good-natured butt slaps, play-thrusting into their butt every time they bend over as revenge, making goofy faces at each other when you make eye contact, surprise breakfast in bed, cuddles while watching your favorite movies, sweet random messages just because, and so much more. And showing appreciation for all the little or big acts of love is needed as well. It's a team effort.

Honesty is definitely another major key to success, which goes hand in hand with communication. Problems in a relationship do not just go away because they are ignored, it's the opposite. So by building the level of communication between the partners and not being afraid to be honest allows for problems to be resolved. The issues could have just been a misunderstanding, but the only way to have known that is from the spouse themselves.

Following hot on honesty's heels is loyalty and trust. Being 100% loyal to your spouse allows trust to be built between the you two, and if the trust is ever broken, it is so hard to gain back. If you can't be loyal to someone who is loyal to you, do not waste their time with lies. Trust me, seeing your significant other message someone else while at least one party is getting a little too friendly is not exactly something that puts the other in a good mood (and if you communicate and be honest with how that makes you feel, hopefully the problem will be resolved). Which brings me to my next example. If you can leave your phone unlocked in front of your partner or even let them go on your phone without constant supervision whenever, then you are doing it right. I ask Dorian all the time to check my text messages or Snapchats if I am unable to, because I know that whatever I get won't raise any suspicion or cause mistrust. We tell each other stories about how someone will try to hit on one of us that day and laugh cause they never had a chance.

At the end of a busy, stressful day, everyone cannot wait to go to bed, and going to bed angry is never a good feeling, especially if the source of the anger is laying next to you. A rule that Dorian and I follow is that if we ever fight, never let the other go to bed angry. It does not bode well for the relationship. Communicate, and don't put issues off for another time.

My final piece of advice is that you can never overuse "I love you's." Whether they come when you see each other, before you part, before you fall asleep, or just at random times, constantly reminding your spouse with "I love you's" is a nice reassurance, even if it is through text at 1:15 in the afternoon. It lets them know you were thinking about them.

Relationships are work, but are so worth it in the end. I hope these tips were of some use. Thanks for reading!

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About the Creator

I Am A Pizza

Life, man

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