Before, I write the story, I want to tell you that this is graphic and would like to warn you in advance on the subject. This is not something to be doing, and I recommend if anyone fells like this to get help IMMEDIATELY! There are people out there to help you! I am here, as well. I want to share my story because I have now known that there is more to love than a lonely best friend. I thank you all for reading my content and standing with me through my journey of love and support! <3
One word could mean so much.
One word affects your life.
The definition of love is different to many. You ever notice that the word "Love" is said in many ways. For example "I love you", "You love to do things like that", or what about this one "You know it loves you, but you don't love it".
Now, think closely on the words I have used in this sentence.
"You know it loves you, but you don't love it".
These are the words that I have noticed when someone is not well.
I had a friend that helped me when I was down. Helped me when no one else was around. Hurt me in many ways but made me feel like I was whole.
That thing ended up not being healthy for me.
Here's the story;
I was just a young girl, minding my own business. Until, I came upon it.
Someone I knew, did something to me that was, not in the right mind at all, ok. I will never mention, ever what it was. I felt things many people have not felt before. I was lonely. I was alone. I couldn't tell anyone. I had to keep it secret.
Ever since that happened, I started hurting the ones I loved most. My mom, my sister, my grandparents and cousins.
I thought of things to help me get better and try to forget about it.
First, I started drinking, which led to me getting caught up in the wrong friend groups.
But, no matter how much I tried. I couldn't.
Until, that day. I thought about what it was like to just float.
When this word came to my mind I thought hard, like when a wave hit the shore. When the axe's blade hit a piece of wood. I thought to myself.
What could it mean?
I walked around for a bit and fell onto my bed, my eyes looking at the ceiling. I tilted my head over to gaze more at the sky outside my window and I got it.
The idea to make me not feel alone.
I told myself and started to feel like I was going to be whole again.
Until, I walked in the bathroom and saw my best friend sitting there on the bathroom shelf. It was a friend. It was not like many friends. This friend was very dangerous. As I grabbed my friend, I kept thinking of what it would be like to float and be loved.
I grabbed my best friend and started.
Until.. it was too late.
I closed my eyes and felt light.
I was dreaming, running through fields and fields of flowers. Like I was floating on thin air. Running past each flower I could feel the love hugging me as I brushed them. But, that didn't last long.
I woke up. Felt the breath of someone on my forehead.
I slightly opened my eyes and noticed my sister, looking down at me. With tears in her eyes as I lay there.
She helped me up and wrapped my arm into a very neat tensor with gauze wedged in between.
I looked up at her and noticed the pain. Felt every inch of pain in her body. As her eyes went deep red.
She looked at me and that's when I found out that Love is something you cherish for your life. Love is a word that means happiness.
I love you.
There will be a time where you love them and not it. Keep hoping and notice the little things around you. It will help you become stronger, like me. I have now conquered that stage and am living with love and trust in someone I truly care about.
Do things you love!
Notice people that love you! Do not ever take them for granted, as they will treat you with the respect you give!
It's a powerful word.