Lost child

Hello everyone, how are you today...

So now I finally have a platform to speak my mind, & just tell or talk about what’s going on in my life. I really don’t care about being judged, because only one person can judge me and that’s the Lord himself. I feel as if I may have a similar situation to others they may have gone through or going through my particular situation.

The beginning... my mother used to drop me off at a daycare providers house I’m just going to mask her name and see the lady. And she was really nice to me, but she had two sons she had a young one in the old one. So one day I was in the daycare providers house and I walked in the bedroom and I saw the guy playing the game. This is the oldest brother, he said to me “ come here what are you doing put your hand right here and move it like this in a back-and-forth motion he told me I should play with his penis. Was I scared not really I was more so grossed out by it but then that’s when he said “ I’m going to tell your mother you were being bad if you don’t do it and if I tell. No I didn’t want to get in trouble, so I listen to him and I play with him until this nasty white stuff started coming now and got on my hands and I said “Eww that’s nasty” then he allowed me to play the video game fr.

I’m a gamer girl come from a family of gamers fr. Anywho that’s where the val was kind of broken. So I lived on and had an okay life really.

I met this guy named Darrin, he was a thug looking kind of guy fr. But I fell for him and loved him like I have never loved anyone before. ( At least I thought) I was only 15, working at checkers high side was the lit side 😏. And that’s when he approached me and was giving me hella game fr... I wasn’t listening, but hey had me open like a can of 🐛. 🤦🏾‍♀️

I wish I could change all the moments, but then who would I be if I didn’t have a story to tell. We stayed in a relationship for 4-6 years. (On and off) He was a dog though he use to beat me so bad I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror...smh this shit hurts just talking about it. Damn I don’t even want to remember the embarrassing times he use to beat me infron of his friends face... shit was fucked up fr. Like I had no value... My father use to beat on his girlfriends so... coming up always seeing that shit idk what I’m supposed to do, even though my mother told me what to do. It’s just so fucked up fr... like I was hurt I’m still dealing with the mental abuse...

I’m sorry if I’m rambling on but I have to get this off my chest so some one can read this. I don’t know how much time I have on this 🌍 that’s another story. I found out this negro was 23🙊yo if you only knew how my Vagina felt I could have turned blue! I was 🥶 to what he wAs telling me, I started crying. I was just turning 16 going to prom I had a bright future... I didn’t smoke weed now it’s my worst enemy fr. Like I thought I forgave him when I threw his stuff away. I loved that man But his dead anyway. A guy killed him on his job that he worked with. It’s so much more I could tell you guys. Like when he beat me up coming home from the strip club... yes shit gets deep. I had to get tested though for another job. I always had more then one hustle though. My father was a king pin so it’s just in my genealogy to work hard for what I want I like money. Since I was 13 I’ve been working and getting money.

Back to the story, I got tested for another job I was about to start... they called me with my results on my birthday 🎁. They told me Everything came back clean but we’ve detected HSV2 in your 🩸 . I said “okay whTs that” it’s an in curable STD....it was nothing that I can say today but thank you is there cure the young woman told me no there’s no cure... wtf was all I could think I caught the last person I had sex with and told him that he had to get tested because I never had nothing like that before in my life so I started fussing to him like you gave me this how the fuck did you do this to me! I was just so livid and then I started backtracking all the guys that I had been with because by that time me and Darren were broken up but we will still see each other occasionally. ;We were actually live in together until I put them out my house. So I even told the men I did I t want to tell fr. Like I do music so I have a name to uphold fr. I’m a pretty good artist fr. I told darrin I had it sitting in the parking lot of my Rara’s house... he said “It’s okay Mook”. Tf was he talking about it’s okay. With who I anit never had shit before... so yes I pissed at the dead cause a bi gotta live with the shit anit shit that I didn’t try to think about. Followed behind that I wAs Diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS)..

So now I’m scared 😟 I don’t know what to do or who to talk to... fuck that shit I said I’ll write about the shit and hopefully people won’t judge a book by its cover, or you’ll ask more questions to find out what you don’t know fr...

Idk I’m cutting it here but I hope you guys enjoy this read, remember to stay prayed up & God Loves you

I’ll be back In my best

Arnold Schwarzenegger voice