Life, Love & Other Lessons Learned

* This is something I started working on a few years ago. Have been toying with different ways to finish it. This is the Prologue below*

Prologue: “The Beginning”

At the beginning of an individual’s lifetime, the true beauty of that lies in the fact that it is in fact ‘the beginning’. The time in which a life begins fresh and with that perspective, is given the opportunity to move forward and hopefully have every available opportunity to learn. For learning is best achieved in a manner that it transpires on a continuous basis and in the end, as the cliché sentiment goes, ‘When you stop learning, you stop living’ and this is a system of thought that has become invaluable as it should be, since it is a manner in which to think that many should remember as they go about their lives. Without the proverbial rule book of sorts, life truly does become a process by which experiences are had through the course of relationships that are established through people that are first introduced into our environments.

The human condition is such that it often is found in the position of encountering those that may first seem to go against their very way of thinking but, in the end, very well may end up finding out that these same individuals that may at first seem to have been adversaries, are in fact the very people that serve to teach the most. Relationships in essence are not easy. They are often found to be complex and multi-faceted and with that, are truly meant to be appreciated and if not appreciated instantly, should be appreciated over time nonetheless, as every relationship has the potential to leave an impact, no matter what size or scope that impact may end out being. As individuals proceed further in their lives, as they continue to progress and hopefully grow, it often can be said that, in the end, it would be these relationships are what truly comprise the building blocks that become the framework that an overall life is built upon.

Everyone reaches a certain point in their life where they seek to take stock of the situation. The most unique aspect of this process is that, often times, the manner in which people look at their own internal path and how they move forward is often different than those around them and with that, seeks to ring true to the very belief that human beings are bound by the collective connection of being a part of the same species but in that case, are unique in terms of the fundamental realization that individuality often rings true throughout the species as it should and such individuality can often be seen in terms of how lessons are digested and further utilized for subsequent decisions that need to be made.

In terms of those that move forward toward whatever career paths they may choose, such as those that wish to enter into the writing sphere, a certain element of introspection is almost to be expected. The element of seeking to find what is the best fit and if that has not been able to be realized for whatever reason, it would ultimately become the pursuit, in one form of another, to look at the event(s) that have occurred and the people that have been met, with the ultimate goal being the deconstruction and subsequent re-construction of why things happen when they do and as they do. A clarity of mind and a renewed sense in the belief that, even if things don’t happen when someone wants them to, or the manner in which they want it to, it still would remain quite possible to realize a goal(s) and to facilitate the reminder to hold onto those relationships and have them be the guiding force, along with conviction of character, to get to that point of success.

In the grand scheme of things, human relationships are such that they are often found to be layered with intricacies that can be found to be difficult at times to understand but nonetheless, each one will possess a core aspect to them that make them immeasurably crucial to enabling the awareness of ideas and outlooks that would have virtually been impossible to be aware of had those relationships not been made in the first place. As it stands, most would agree that the easy relationships are desired, as they offer the opportunity to get the fastest outcome, which in this case would be the minimal stress of trying to truly figure the other person out. A fundamental lesson that can come from the best of situations, as well as the most stressful, are that the best lessons in life, are often learned from the situations that may have seemed to have been especially tiring at the time.

Strength of character and the force of will are often best tested by the relationships that may take the longest to figure out, if ever. The relationships where there appears to be no easy answer at first and with that, calling for all measures necessary and available, with the perceived hope of being the possible means to allow an individual(s) to get to a point at which they would be able to feel as if they would have some element of understanding of the person(s) in front of them. Whether it’s the classroom instructor seeking to address the needs of the material that they are trying to teach, the family member that is trying to encourage their loved one to succeed, the partner whose trying to get their significant other to understand their point, the friend who wants a willing ear of understanding, or even the employer that may seem especially difficult at times, relationships are united by the same simple reality that human beings are a species that gives way to the desire to connect on some form or another.

People connect on many levels. The connections made between members of a family. Or the connections made amongst two people who form a friendship, a committed relationship, or a successful business relationship through working, connections exist and often times, they can be found in more ways than anyone originally may think that they can. The pursuit of such relationships is the first aspect to look at and at the heart of the matter, the fruit that comes from those relationships, in terms of the subsequent experiences and resulting feelings, is the climax of the entire landscape of better understanding of who we are and what makes us tick.

Mistakes are often the case in virtually any endeavor that is undertaken. In the end, the mistakes often resulting from the choices that were made, through the use of information garnered through experiences. Experiences that may have seemed on the surface to be one thing but, when the layers are pulled back, take on an entirely different status and scope. Such variance that can lead to a re-examination of pre-conceived thought and a change in viewpoint that, when it occurs, leads to a difference in opinion about a plethora of issues and even so, a closer look at the people around us and with that, the ability to say that we know someone like we thought they did, or on the other end of the spectrum, the instance in which someone that may have been first seen as a positive influence, may not be such a case and with that, would require a deconstruction of every detail about the experiences that would have been had with this person(s) and fundamentally, the throwing out of any preconceived notions that lead to misconceptions and with that, the ability to get to and fully embrace two fundamentally key aspects of how human beings best get along with one another. That is, the ability to recognize and embody the pursuit of honesty, integrity and character.

In terms of these three senses of expression, it can be said that individuals can and often do look at this in terms of both seeking to possess these qualities within their own respective personal self but in that case, it can also be addressed that these are qualities that can often be looked for and in the end, dared to be hoped for, when it comes to the people that we choose to bring into our own lives in one form or another. The desire to find those people that, by being in our lives, they give us the chance to truly express ourselves in such a way that finds the ability to grow and to advance in such ways that may not have seemed possible otherwise. To have the wisdom and belief that, through human relationships, we can truly find the chance to reach a point in time where things are able to be seen as being possible and the ability to translate into truly valuable stepping stones that can line the path that is traveled moving forward.

To be able to find the honesty in things, no more how big or small that thing(s) may be on the surface. To hold onto a sense of integrity and to have that integrity be the very life force behind the actions that are undertaken and the relationships that formed through something as simple as a casual conversation, or as large as an act of sacrifice that in turn gives someone else the opportunity to realize their own desires or their own dreams. For this in itself would be a sign of integrity, as it would take an innate sense of integrity to stand behind someone else, sometimes even at the expense of your own self in one form or another, for that would be the expression of possessing integrity to stick to what it means to be a person of integrity and in the pursuit of living a life that is seen as being about both honor and an appreciation for preserving the truth.

As you go about life, it is not uncommon to seek out those that can act as your guide of sorts. Simply, to be those that will help shape who you are and how you look at the world. For in the end, these are the people that will come to the position of acting as mentors. Those that you can look back on either fondly, or even with some disdain but in the end, still be able to find even a morsel of information that you would have learned from each and every one of them and in return, take those lessons and live the best life that you can. In the short time that I have been alive, there have been a select group of people that I have come to consider in my life to have been mentors in one way or another. These were the people that I welcomed into my existence and have done so with open eyes and the desire to learn as much as I can from each of them.

Whenever you let someone as close to you as a mentor will get, it can become possible for them to leave a lasting impression on your life that will have elements that you like and in that respect, elements that you wish you would have never been exposed to. Taught you things that are incredibly valuable and also taken your loyalty and dedication and shattered it in a million pieces. This last result does not disqualify those from the mentor group, as they too have given you something that must be learned in life. That is, not everyone you trust is going to return that precious gift in the same manner that you would have given it to them in the first place. Life is about the hard choices that have to be made and one of those choices is the sad acceptance of the fact that all of us, at one point or another, will have our hearts shifted and even broken at times, by those that we have brought into our inner circle and given the sacred gift of our loyalty and trust.

We all make the choice to trust someone when they enter into our life. We choose how they are in our life, the level of trust and/or mistrust that may be present and in the end, we also have the choice as to whether or not these people are meant to stay in our lives in any manner whatsoever. Even if people leave the physical presence of our day to day existence, they shall remain due to the fact that no one ever really leaves our lives. They either stay in a constant presence, or the lessons that they have taught us are what remains as the legacy of the relationship(s) that would have formed. Having people leave our lives is a sad experience and one that has been experienced both through death and the realization that maintaining a relationship of any kind would not be beneficial in any way. Experiencing such sadness is a normal sign, for that shows us that we would have truly cared about the individual(s) at one point or another, even if they ended up not being around for the long term.

Some would say that people who break our trust and faith are those that would have ultimately been a mistake to trust altogether. While that logic would seem reasonable on the surface, at closer examination, there would be more to consider, for being able to realize a better summation of what the greater point would be. The point being, without trusting people that ultimately break that trust, it leaves us with a stilted sense of how layered life can be and with that, the breaking of trust is something that unfortunately becomes a blessing, as it allows for the participant to understand that not everyone is meant to stay our friend, our confidant, our adviser.

It can be quite painful to have your trust shattered by someone that you have let so close to you. While I have made my share of mistakes in terms of decisions that have caused the shaking of the trust tree, I have also fallen prey to those that have taken the trust that I have placed in them and molded it into something that was not in any way what I would have expected it to be in the beginning. We all make mistakes in life, for that is what ultimately what makes us human. We all have hearts that feel and some of those hearts are softer than others. With time and experience, those hearts can be shaped by things witnessed, so that the individual(s) are able to look at the next situations ahead of them in a manner that they would have not done so otherwise, had they not been through the experience(s) of trusting someone that they shouldn’t have trusted to the level that they did, or to begin with at all. It is with this belief that this story shall begin.