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Learn to Lie Better

Playing poker provides the perfect opportunity to practice bold bluffing

By Amethyst QuPublished 3 years ago 10 min read
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This shark's got teeth / Photo by Clint Patterson via Unsplash license / links below

Live poker is a great learning lab for the study of human nature. The whole table knows you're there to win their money. Your mission is to get the money anyway.

To make the job tougher, you're up against a self-selected group of people. Everybody there could have chosen to play the slots while throwing back shots.

Poker players pride themselves on being smarter than your average bear. More skilled at separating a fool and his money. Better at detecting other people's bluffs and bull. It's a tough audience with money on the line.

And yet it's worth the doing. After all, lying well is a superpower-- and the poker table is a reasonably safe place to develop that superpower. How does your life change if you can baffle 'em with bull instead of being the baffled one?

At the poker table, all you've got to lose when you screw up is some time and money. In return, you get a boatload of opportunities to wrestle with the core problem. How do you get away with lies when the whole table knows lies are part of the game?

If you're thinking, “Yeah but, I don't have time and money to spare,” hang on. As a former live poker pro, I've already played those thousands of hours for you. Now that I'm retired from the game, I'm happy to pass on what I learned.

Note: Use your new powers wisely. I'm not responsible for what you do with this information. If you win big, the glory is yours. If you screw up, that's all yours too.

Anybody can win with Aces / Photo by cottonbro from Pexels / links below

A good lie is a well-plotted story

A good lie has some kind of logic the target can follow. It makes sense based on your character and the situation. A great lie is a story your target thinks they figured out for themselves.

Think about a long-running TV series you enjoyed for years until it jumped the proverbial shark. You always knew it was created to entertain and amuse, but you were able to lose yourself in the story. The situations tended to be larger-than-life, but the characters seem like friends. They're relatable people doing logical things in desperate or hilarious circumstances.

Eight seasons later, the storyline's played out. The writers are desperate. The characters keep changing from the friends you used to know so well.

Suddenly, Fonze is jumping the shark. The spell is broken.

A good lie is a well-plotted TV series. People keep tuning into your made-up bull week after week because you give them a reason to believe. Once your action stops making sense, they get suspicious.

A bad lie has a lot of plotholes. The villain (you) is doing stuff that seems way off. Your target tunes out, stops believing your mess, and then you've lost them.

A non-poker example

A self-proclaimed internet millionaire sent me a link to his webinar about building eight-figure businesses. When I tune in, he's standing at a whiteboard in a mostly empty hotel conference room wearing an off-the-rack suit purchased forty pounds earlier.

I closed the webinar. No need to go further. A man who can build eight-figure businesses can afford a new suit when he outgrows the first one. This guy's hustle wasn't congruent with what I could learn about him at a glance.

Your story has to make sense. The pieces have to fit together like a well-crafted mystery novel. Would somebody who has and does the things you claim act the way you do?

Some people use this principle for evil. We've all seen those Instagram guys lease a Ferrari, and now they're pretending it's their car while they set up some get-rich-quick multi-level-marketing scheme. Don't do that. It's obnoxious, and everybody's onto this one weird trick anyway.

Photo by Pawel Czerwinski via Unsplash / Links below

Consider your table image

A good lie doesn't exist in isolation. That's why, in poker, good players usually try to establish a table image. They're making up a story about their own character -- the better to sell the other players on a misleading idea of how they're likely to react.

Don't let your ego get involved. We'd all love to be known as winners, but other players are more likely to engage with people they believe to be losers. You're not trying to look good. You're trying to win money.

One of my favorite tactics was to develop a reputation as a big ole ball of bluff. My goal was to make people want to engage so they'd pay off later when I picked up strong hands. I'd do that by going after a bluffable opponent while holding a silly hand.

Note: You don't make this play against a suspicious player who thinks everybody's out to bluff him off his hand. Guys who won't back down catch your bluffs every time. Watch, wait, and pick your target wisely.

Money is the motive / Photo by Alexander Mils from Pexels / Links below

An example of how I bluffed a logical thinker

If you play poker yourself, this principle will be easier to understand by following a real-life example from my poker journal. (If you've never played poker, don't panic. I'll give you enough to get the idea.)

The game is 5/2 No Limit Texas Hold Em in a large, busy Vegas poker room. Two players are required to put in money before the cards are dealt. The little blind (LB) puts up $2. The player to LB's immediate left -- the big blind (BB) -- puts in $5.

These blinds are just the seed corn to get the action started. The No Limit part means all cash or chips on the table can be put into play. Some pots stay small, but other pots end up being played for thousands of dollars.

At this table, two seats came open side by side. I'm seated on the left of the other new player, a young man under thirty.

That's worth noting because a lot of young men are semi-pros or think they are, and a lot of them play a loose-aggressive game that means they don't fold easily. However, something about this guy makes me think he's a little uncomfortable. In a lot of casinos back home, 5/2 is the biggest game. He impresses me as a guy who dipped a toe into a pool of sharks just to see.

It's a first impression. If I get information later to contradict my first impression, I'll have to change my behavior. But, for now, I'm going to act on the idea this guy is a relatively careful player.

We play a few hands, not too many. Nothing happens to shift my first impression.

Fool's Gold and Cash / Photo by the Author

The game where I put my evil plan into action

Pretty soon, we get to the situation where he has to ante up the $2 little blind, while I pay the $5 big blind. The other players ahead of us have the option to join the game by putting in $5 or not. As it happens, everybody folds around to the little blind.

He raises to $20.

I sneak a look at my cards. J♣T♣

My hand isn't very strong. Against a careful player, I can often fold right here. But the night is young, and I want to establish a loosey-goosey table image so I get paid off later when I pick up a big hand myself.

I call the $20 to see what develops.

Two players. The dealer deals three flop cards -- the first three of five community cards that both of us can use to complete our hand.

T♦8♦4♦

I have a pair of tens with a crummy Jack kicker. Top pair, but I think he's got a better pair in his hand.

As for the three diamonds, well. This is not the flush I wanted to see. In fact, it's a bit of a trap hand, and it doesn't make me feel any better that I've trapped myself.

Still, I've been looking for an opportunity to establish myself as either a bluffer or an idiot. Here's my chance to do both.

He bets $30.

Action is language

Here, he's saying he has an overpair like AA, KK, QQ, or JJ. He thinks he's still ahead, and he has no desire to give me a free look at the turn in case I hold a single diamond that can improve to a flush.

I raise to $100.

I'm saying I have two diamonds and thus already hit the flush, and I'd like him to put more money in my pot.

Long pause. He gets my message, and now he has to decide if he believes me. At last, he calls.

The dealer lays down the turn card: A♣

My opponent checks -- meaning, he passes the action to me without betting more money. I check behind. The pot remains the same size.

The dealer lays down the final community card: 8♥

When he checks again, I say to myself, “He has pocket kings.”

Moving in for the kill AKA don't drop the ball now

How do I know what he (probably) holds? Because if he had pocket Aces, he just made a full house. He saw me check behind him on the turn, so he can't rely on me to bet. He has to assume it's up to him to bet on the river if he wants to get any more money in the pot. I might not pay off a huge bet, but if I have a flush, I'd pay something.

When he checks that river, he's telling me he hopes to get a cheap showdown. He doesn't have to have pocket kings. He could have QQ or JJ as well. Doesn't matter. Whatever he's got, it beats my pair of tens with no kicker. The last thing I want is a showdown.

Time to follow through with the plan to establish my wild and crazy table image. I push all-in, knowing he can't call. He throws down his pair of black kings face-up.

“I knew it,” he says. “I was drawing dead on the flop.”

Since he folded, I'm under no obligation to show my cards. However, the whole point of the play was to make myself known as a big bluffer. So I sweetly flip over my hand to show my pair of tens.

“You were ahead every step of the way,” I say.

Now he hates me. Yet he shouldn't feel stupid. If he was a clueless idiot, I couldn't have played the hand that way. He was bluffable because he was a careful player who drew logical conclusions based on the way I played. An emotional, ego-driven player would have to be played a different way.

Everybody can be deceived. They just can't all be deceived the same way. When your target is a logical person, take advantage of their ability to make connections and reach conclusions. Let them reason their own way down the primrose path.

A believable lie is a consistent lie

In a nutshell, if you want logical people to believe your stories, you've got to make them consistent stories. Your image, your actions, and your body language all have to work together to make a clear statement. Words are just words. People draw conclusions based on what they see you doing.

Sounds so simple in theory. Now you're grumbling that you already knew that. Sure, you know it in theory. But you're not going to follow through and carry it off until you've had a little practice.

For me, the poker table was a safe place to do that. For you, well, it all depends on your bankroll. You'll screw it up at first. Guaranteed. Always begin by playing with money you can afford to lose.

Photo Credits

Feature Photo: Toothy shark by Clint Patterson via Unsplash license

King Two Offsuit Photo: Bad hand by cottonbro from Pexels

Little lies Photo: Child's blocks by Pawel Czerwinski via Unsplash license

Bens (US Hundreds): Photo by Alexander Mils from Pexels

Fool's Gold & Cash: Photo by the author of US hundreds and twenties being weighed down by a specimen of quartz crystals on pyrite (nicknamed fool's gold) from my personal collection

I have a big poker journal full of all kinds of crazy plays from my days as a professional live player. If you enjoyed this story, tap that <3 button to let me know. If enough people seem interested, I'll put a book together based on my experiences. Tips gratefully accepted.

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About the Creator

Amethyst Qu

Seeker, traveler, birder, crystal collector, photographer. I sometimes visit the mysterious side of life. Author of "The Moldavite Message" and "Crystal Magick, Meditation, and Manifestation."

https://linktr.ee/amethystqu

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