Keep It To Myself
Some things are better left unsaid
I came home from work, happy, but nervous. Happy because it was Friday and although I was scheduled to work Saturday it was at last the weekend. As soon as I got off from work I saw the text message from him asking me to buy some beer for him before I got home, so I did.
After he got off we went to check out some snow things we needed for an upcoming trip. He stopped at the gas station at bought himself a small bottle of some knock off whiskey. Chugged the bottle before we passed through 2 traffic lights. We ended up showing up a tad bit late to the store and had exactly 3 minutes to shop before the store closed. I bought snow gloves, and he got information on something he was planning on buying.
Before we headed home he asked if we could stop by his moms, I didn’t mind. I said I didn’t mind, yet he still kept saying things like “I’m not trying to force you to go”, “we don’t have to go if you don’t want to”, “are you sure you’re okay?”. I breathed in and out as silently as I could and kept repeating that it was fine, which I was fine with. I loved going to his moms. She’s the most loving ever. Sad to say but majority of the time I felt closer to her than my own mother. I had no problem stopping over. Only thing I asked from him .was that he didn’t drink too much.
He had just one drink and I think it was enough to push him into the dark side so to speak. We left after that drink and he said that I was being all cranky and snapping back at them so therefore he decided it was best we left. I tried to keep my cool on the way home but I’m sure he could tell I was a bit annoyed when telling him that that was not how I felt it went at his moms. We sat there in silent, his window rolled down, cigarette in hand, listening to the radio. I wanted to say so many things but I kept my mouth shut. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. I started saying things that were completely off topic, irrelevant to the lightweight discussion we had just had.
Came home, we chatted a bit, he put on a movie, and that was that. I dozed off on one side of the couch and him on the other. I woke him up when I was headed towards bed and asked if he was joining, he shrugged his shoulders and said maybe. Still now he lays there. Mumbling who knows what, giggling here and there. I think he had a drinking problem, because we were having such a great time and out of nowhere my sober ass started acting some type of way. Some type of way that he can’t remember any specific smart ass comments he claims I made at his moms. Some type of way where he thought I was getting annoyed by him asking me if it was okay we go over to his moms in the first place. Somehow I was at fault for of all this. Tonight I lay here in bed, feeling distant from him. Just like the day I walked in his door and he was expecting the hoe, not me. I’d share this with him, but since there’s still alcohol in his system, I think it’s best I keep it to myself.
About the Creator
TexasChicana
I find writing therapeutic. Helps me get through life when I’m feeling absolutely worthless.
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