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Jealousy: Cute or Toxic?

by Elise 2 years ago in dating
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Some people enjoy having a jealous partner

Jealousy can warp the mind, cause you to act out of character and can turn a loving relationship into a toxic situation in the blink of an eye. 

But it isn't always harmful or toxic to feel jealous. It all depends on where that emotion is coming from and how you react to it that determines whether it's good or bad.

So, does that mean it's true that jealousy can be cute and harmless?

The Jealous Type

Recently I was having a conversation with someone about jealousy in relationships. I explained to him that I used to be - and still struggle with being - the jealous type. 

I told him that it's something I don't like about myself and I've been working on overcoming for a while now. However, this person told me that he finds it super sexy when girls act that way.

His reason behind finding jealousy attractive is because to him it means that they care. That is why he prefers women that are overly emotional, attached, jealous and obsessive, to him, it's a sign of love.

If someone had told me that a year ago I would have felt okay with the fact that I was that sort of girlfriend, however, looking back on the insecure person I used to be I can see that it isn't the person I want to be today. I was controlling and unhealthy, and it made me feel miserable for a really long time.

So why do some people find it so appealing when their partner gets jealous?

Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy comes from insecurity and breeds negativity in the mind. If you're lacking in confidence or trust then there will always be room for the green-eyed monster. 

It's natural to have moments of jealousy and yes, sometimes it can come from a good place but for most people, it doesn't and that's what ruins relationships.

However, some people find it flattering when they're dating a jealous person. They might even go so far as to play into that emotion by causing their partner to be jealous on purpose. The reason for this is complicated.

It could be because they believe that jealousy is a sign of affection and love. Or it could be sexual tension or fantasy - being controlled and submissive for example. It could even be that it makes them feel wanted and special when they're partner becomes jealous.

Not everyone succumbs to jealousy though. Some people are able to maintain control of such things and can look at it from a logical perspective because they know there are negative consequences that come with the emotion. They may use jealousy as a form of motivation to be better and do better instead of letting it control them in a negative way.

Twitter Poll

I turned to Twitter for a little more insight on this subject. I was curious to see how many thought jealousy to be cute or toxic, so I created a poll.

I'm awful at maths so please correct me if my maths is way off but out of 127 votes, 17 people voted jealousy to be cute.

There were many comments that said it was toxic and unattractive to be with a jealous partner but there were a few that thought it was cute and harmless depending on the reason for the jealousy and how the person would react out of jealousy.

Personally I do believe jealousy can be very toxic and unattractive, especially when the person becomes so insecure that they begin to constantly accuse and manipulate their partner. But when it's a person who rarely feels jealous then maybe it can be cute, just as long as they don't overdo it. 

So, is jealousy toxic or cute and harmless? Well, it's all very subjective it seems. 

What are your thoughts? Cute or toxic? Or a bit of both?


About the author


I love writing & reading poetry & fiction.

Grateful for those who read and support me.

Charm & Tarot Readings Available on Esty, Weebly & Fiverr

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