Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if a certain person (or people) wasn’t a part of it? Well, if they do nothing but stress you out or create dangerous situations... just let them go. Even if it is a parent or a sibling, there is absolutely no shame in cutting them off. You have to do what is best for you.
I have experience with this, personally. The person I cut from my life is my dad. He’s an addict, drugs and alcohol. Now, growing up things were always great, or at least they seemed that way to a child. I’ve since learned that that isn’t actually the case.
My father has always been an avid weed smoker. That’s fine with me, I have no issues with it. But when I was 14, about to start my freshman year of high school, he started doing the more serious drugs, and really abusing the prescriptions he was taking for all of his back problems.
He had always been the kind of person who hid things and lied, even about ridiculous small things. This is why it took us a while to figure out what was actually going on. Money would disappear, even MY money, not just from my parents’ account. He’d be gone an absurd amount of time when he was only supposed to be going out for milk or cigarettes.
Then, my normally pleasantly plump father started losing weight. He claimed it was due to a diet he was on, and maybe the rest of us should eat better like him. This was not true, he just wasn’t eating at all because he was too high and sleeping most of the time.
By the end of that school year, my mom decided to leave him. A week later, dad was in jail for possession. When he got out after a month, mom let him come live in our new house against my wishes.
While I don’t *think* he’s done anything quite like that since his time behind bars, he has overdosed a few times and also been arrested for DUIs. He’ll go years in between incidents. Just when you think he’s finally over all that stuff, he surprises you with slurred speech or excessive drinking. It became extremely exhausting.
Two years ago, my mom left him for good. I’ve never been more proud of her. She’s so much happier without him.
I’ve tried to keep my distance, but have only been truly successful in avoiding him in the last 15 months. Two of my sisters have kept in touch with him the whole time, and the other recently had a baby and has begun reaching out to him. I haven’t seen him since his brother’s funeral.
My life is so much different now. I don’t wonder when the next time will be that I find him passed out on the porch, or in such a drugged state that he literally cannot move or speak. If someone tells me he’s been drinking again or back on drugs, it won’t disappoint me the way it used to.
I have a boyfriend who he’s never met, and I’m not even sure he knows exists. We plan to have kids someday, and that fact almost makes me want to talk to him again. He would definitely approve of this relationship. But I just can’t make myself send him a message.
The moral of this story is simple. No matter who someone is to you, you don’t have to keep them in your life if they are not enhancing it. Their absence might make you sad every once in a while, but the overall quality of your life will improve drastically.
About the Creator
M W
I’m a 26 year old nanny, who loves dogs and kids. Co-habitating with my boyfriend of not-quite a year, figuring life out together.
"Directing Light: The Effect of a Sort Stranger"
In the clamoring city of New York, where the roads murmur with the mood of life and the high rises go after the sky, I had the joy of experiencing a genuinely striking individual — an unrecognized yet truly great individual whose benevolence and liberality made a permanent imprint on my heart. It was a boiling summer day, and I ended up lost in the twisted labyrinth of tram burrows, my mind whirling with disarray and disappointment. As I remained on the stage, gripping my guide and attempting to get a handle on the tangled trap of train lines, a voice got through the turmoil. "Is it safe to say that you are lost, old buddy?" I went to see a man remaining close to me, his face endured with age yet his eyes sparkling with warmth and empathy. He presented himself as Sam, and at that time, I realize that I had experienced somebody extraordinary. With a delicate grin, Sam proposed to assist me with exploring the tram framework, directing me through the labyrinth of passages and stages easily. He shared accounts of his own undertakings in the city, offering useful tidbits and support en route. However, it wasn't simply Sam's information on the tram framework that intrigued me — it was his steadfast consideration and liberality of soul. In spite of the intense intensity and the hurrying around of the city, he got some margin to help an outsider out of luck, without anticipating anything consequently. As we rose up out of the tram burrows and ventured out into the brilliant daylight, I couldn't resist the opportunity to feel a feeling of appreciation wash over me. Sam had not just assisted me with tracking down my direction through the city — he had reestablished my confidence in humankind, helping me to remember the force of sympathy and the significance of loaning some assistance to those out of luck. In the long stretches of time that understood, I frequently ended up considering Sam and the effect he had made on my life. His straightforward thoughtful gesture had propelled me to show preemptive kindness, to search for chances to help other people in my own local area, and to move toward every day with an open heart and a readiness to have an effect. Also, however I might in all likelihood at no point ever see Sam in the future, his soul lives on in the recollections we shared and the examples he educated me. He was something beyond a supportive individual I met in passing — he was a brilliant illustration of the decency that exists on the planet, and an update that even amidst bedlam and vulnerability, graciousness has the ability to illuminate the most obscure of days. Soon after our experience, I made it a highlight copy Sam's consideration in my own life. I chipped in at neighborhood covers, offering dinners and friendship to those out of luck. I assisted older neighbors with their food and paid attention to their accounts with authentic premium and sympathy. What's more, each time I assisted somebody out of luck, I considered Sam and the effect he had made on my life. However, it wasn't simply my activities that changed — it was my point of view too. I started to see the world through Sam's eyes, perceiving the magnificence and humankind in each individual I experienced. I got some margin to grin at outsiders in the city, to offer uplifting statements to the people who required them, and to move toward every communication with an open heart and a readiness to interface. Also, as I kept on exploring the clamoring roads of New York City, I conveyed Sam's soul with me any place I went. His consideration had contacted my life in manners I would never have envisioned, and I realize that I would perpetually be appreciative for the brief yet significant experience we had shared. Eventually, Sam was something other than a supportive individual I had met — he was a directing light in a world that occasionally felt dull and questionable. He showed me that even amidst mayhem and disarray, there is dependably space for consideration, empathy, and liberality of soul. Also, for that, I will constantly be appreciative.
By Nameless writer3 days ago in Humans
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