It Was ALWAYS Endgame

Did I want to be great, be remembered?

I knew as I continued on in my studies that I was hungry to prove myself. Not as a renown writer. Just to prove that something that I said would have been enough to mean something to one person.

That is all. If I could say something that would help one person feel heard that was enough. The words and the stories would be there long after I am gone.

I want others to be great. I want others to be remembered. I want the world to know the generation I was in was full of people who, though flawed, were willing to be better than those before them. That the people in the world had a hope, had integrity, had a story.

I did not want one person to be lost to history. I wanted them to be remembered in the immortal words of ink, even if they were not mentioned specifically by name.

With that in mind I wrote.

And wrote.

And wrote.

No song has rung more true for me than this. It is not a secret that those in the writing world take a long time to make their books. We spend weeks, months, years perfecting a work that we will forever say could have been better.

We are never satisfied. We want more. We want to give history the literature it deserves. We want to get better.

Therefore it is no surprise that as writers we constantly second-guess ourselves. We research, get frustrated, have that one big moment of inspiration and stay cooped up in our world for hours, sometimes even days.

Any story that could be told would always look good on the screen. I knew that with the classes I had taken in regards to screenplays and film, there was something there. There was a reason people took the stories of authors and created the world as close to the words as possible. The director has not nor will ever see the world the author or the screenplay writer saw.

What is the deciding factor then? What made the movies so powerful when the world were just as, if not more, powerful. What was the difference that made people love them both for different reasons?

Thus began my research of short films.

I started with YouTube. Up until that point, I had never seen the use of it (I know, I know). I thought it was a thing that my friends would get on just to get their drama fix and to be honest that is not too far from the reality.

There were many talented first-time directors that I was happy to watch. Were they cinematic masterpieces? Of course not.

They were from new up and coming eyes. When we are comfortable with groups of actors, directors, types of views on the cinematic journey we fail to see the new artistry that is coming for future generations.

It makes that world so competitive. It makes it challenging to find a voice and YouTube gave rise to voices of new up and coming artists.

This was the effect that I saw and fell in love with on this platform.

Therefore when I fell it was not hard to research more. Find out all that was involved when it came to the content and want to pursue for knowledge purposes. I did not expect to find a love for this platform. I did not expect to find a confidence or a voice.

I did.

Now I am starting to spend any amount of time that I have available writing and working on YouTube. They are jobs that I want to keep for a very long time (YouTube) or for the rest of my life (writing). They are a representation of what I had learned, started and achieved through a new hope and a new confidence.

I will forever be grateful to, thankful for, and undeserving of all of the people who are here on this journey with me. I want to be worthy of that and work harder and harder. I know that I will never be the best.

I will always strive to do the best I can and make sure to live every day grateful for where I started and where I am today. I came onto Vocal to share my stories. To talk about all that I have learned, all I am continuing to learn, and of course all the craziness that comes with life. I am here to engage with a world that has given me so much.

I am undeserving of all that has been shown, given, and taught to me.

I will forever be learning more and more so that no one who has invested in me had let their time go to waste. Time is too short. We are learning that EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

I never want to waste the precious time given to me. With that knowledge life would be too lonely to only focus on myself. So I do look out, I do look to others, I share what I have heard and what I have experienced so that no one will have to feel alone.

I share the hard stories, I talk about the hard topics, because if we do not address them and pretend they are not there nothing will be fixed. We need to be the change that we want to see. That will not happen until we are willing to look outside of ourselves and know that being different is not a bad thing, rather a beautiful thing.

Everyone has a story.

Everyone deserves the chance to speak and be listened to.

Writing brought me out of myself. It brought me a joy and a voice that I never thought possible. I will forever be grateful for that.

YouTube brought me an understanding of what the world is and is not ready for, what people are drawn to. It brought me an understanding of how much a connection with people, those who you may never have had the chance to meet otherwise, is so beautiful and meaningful. To them and you.

Vocal has brought me a platform to share. To see if I am able to make it in a world that is constantly looking for the next artist, the next story, the next big deal. It is a way to showcase the best of you, both behind the scenes and in your journey.

In summary, no I do not want to be great. I do not want to be remembered.

I want to strike a chord, spark conversation and discussion. I want to shine the light on all stories, all perspectives, all voices. I want to be my own personal change.

I want to write truth.

If you want to follow my journey you can always find me on YouTube (Maya Hernandez) and Instagram (babbling_bumbling_booknerd). I hope to connect with more of you on there!

I also would be so appreciative if you were to be so kind as to tip (not a requirement). All of the money goes back into all of my platforms and of course daily living. I am also looking into some fun ways to give that money back and would love any and all suggestions. Thank you all so much!