It's Time

I recently received news that nobody ever wants to hear. An old friend had passed away - she was two years younger than me. In our younger years, during high school we were close, but then, at the flowering young age of fifteen, she became addicted to drugs.

She was such a beautiful young girl. Dark hair, perfect porcelain skin and the biggest blue eyes. I watched as my friend took a formidable spiral downward. Just as almost every other person that she knew...I backed away.

I watched and listened as people whispered behind her back - even the adults passed judgement. Teachers who were there to help - turned away and whispered amongst themselves.

I remember holding in her my arms one day as she cried. She knew that she was in trouble...she knew that had done something threatening and troubling and she was frightened... yet the drugs had already taken ahold of her. Her biggest worry was that her family would discover her addiction. She had lost hope for herself, yet she still cared so much about her family, she didn't want to disappoint them.

I was just a kid myself, I didn't know what to do for her - so I ran away.

For nearly 30 years I watched "just like everyone else in our town" as she lived out of motel rooms and resorted to the unthinkable just to support her addiction. Now she's gone.

Stop whispering! She was someone's daughter, mother and sister. She was a human being with a life and a soul - and society let her down. WE let her down. Her friends, her teachers, her community....we failed her.

We have created a society where people feel more capable and worthy of being accepted if they're on drugs rather than being fat, unattractive or poor. It's true!

The heavy, chubby overweight kid who can't keep up in sports and is always picked last. They get laughed at and bullied for being the way that they are. You know the kid that I'm talking about, you probably even snickered a few times yourself or sit silently and watched others do it. They sit on the bench and wonder why the kid who smokes marijuana in the restroom is more popular and well liked. Eventually they decide "what the hell" and pop a few diet pills just to change themselves and to fit in.

Later we hear that the fat kid is dead, their heart gave out due to the excessive use of drugs. "Who cares, it's their own fault for being so damn stupid!" - isn't that what we say? "They done it to themselves!" - "They knew better." - "Shame on them."

Did we ever once stop and consider what put them in that state of mind? Why did they feel the need to resort to drugs? Why was being a drug addict so much more comfortable than being the fat kid in class?

Now, let's talk about that young girl who isn't quite as pretty as the other "popular" girls. She never gets asked out on dates and she's never included in sleep-overs or get togethers. Other girls laugh at her because her makeup isn't correctly applied and her clothing has no-frills. ( you don't know just how hard she tried)

Prom time arrives and all of the other girls are excited and going shopping for elegant, exquisite dresses. She sits alone in her room crying because she knows that nobody will take a second glance in her direction.

She overheard some guys joking about her and daring each other to ask her out. They all laugh as she walks by, trying to hold in the tears. She eats lunch all alone because she isn't accepted by the other girls.

While the rest of us were having the time of our lives she silently closes her bedroom door and hangs herself.

Did we ever even stop and wonder why she felt so dejected and alone? Did we ever once talk about the reasons why death was more peaceful than having to live amongst us?

Bullying Isn't Just For Kids!

You'll never guess how many adults encounter bullying! This is absolutely shameful and disgusting! Adults - Leaders of the community - Examples for the youth - BULLYING ONE ANOTHER! Why?

When adults respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior they send the message that it is not acceptable. But what are we saying when we bully each other?

An adult bully can be intimidating, controlling, unruly, high-pressure, condescending, shaming and altogether abusive. It happens much more often that you think and the results can be just as destructive and damaging for an adult as it is for a child.

As adults, we certainly know better. We know the devastating consequences that bullying can cause. We teach our children to be good, compassionate people and yet provide absolutely no example for them to live by.

Childhood bullies are one thing, but - If you're an adult bully...There are just no words to describe the shame and disgust that resonates from deep within you.

As a society it's time that WE ALL stop and take a look at what we've become and what we've allowed to transpire around us.

You may not be guilty of bullying personally...but what did you do?

Did you speak up or did you look the other way? Did you reach out a hand to someone who needed comforting or were they simply too far gone for you to care? Did you take the time to smile or speak to someone who appeared to be hurting or would that have tarnished your reputation?

Did you just not want to get involved?

It's Time To Look At What We've Become. - It's Time To Change

And It All Starts With US!

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in 2020 suicide was the second leading cause of death among children and adolescents ages 12 to 19 — and the leading cause of death among 13- year-olds. It is the 10th leading cause of deaths among all Americans.

40% is believed to have been the result of bullying and harassment.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, most people resort to drugs because they want to feel good, stop feeling bad, or perform better in school or at work, or they just want to fit in. The last reason is the number one reason among teenagers.

65% of teenagers with drug addictions admitted that they "just wanted to fit in."

Approximately 10% of those will die before the age of 21.

Most adult drug addicts will die between 33-50 years of age.

Statistics from https://www.cdc.gov