It’s all in the Mind

Ahhhhh, it feels good to release what’s been driving me insane. I’m currently pregnant for the first time and waiting any day for our baby girl. What’s been overwhelming is that it seems like my support system is shallow. My mom and mother in law are great, they just live in two different states. My best friend has been acting really fake, and it’s annoying. I’ve been thinking about distancing myself from her for a while now.

Then, I have thoughts of having this baby, which is a little scary, not having my moms being here because of COVID, and my friends not being real. That created so much chaos in my head. It went from thinking about my problems to not feeling worthy to being overwhelmed. The next feeling would’ve been depression, but I’ve learned how to keep myself from entering the black hole, as I call it. Our thoughts can drive us mad, happy, or sad, but it’s up to us to know when to let go.

For example, all this was happening last night as my husband and I was watching TV. Every problem that I had that wasn’t solved, came to haunt me. I decided to take a shower and relax. When you consistently think about your issues, you can no longer enjoy the moment. Your mind is consumed with “how, what, when.” I realized my thoughts had such a negative impact on me, and my choice was to stop thinking about everything.

That... gave.... me... so.... much... peace.

I came out of the shower feeling rejuvenated! I rather be present with my husband, enjoy the time we shared and not worry about little stuff or things that haven’t happened.

Other things that had me overwhelmed was the fact that my professor said that all our assignments aren’t due until August 30th. Now, previous classes would open up work week by week, not all at once. I called my teacher to confirm that my homework was indeed not due until the 30th. He confirmed that I was correct.

Being tired from pregnancy, I decided that I would work on assignments during the week, but not every other day as my other classes. For some odd reason, my professor emailed everyone in the class and stated that he was kind of upset that people hadn’t worked on any of the assignments yet. I was confused because he CLEARLY STATED that all the classwork wasn’t due to the end of the month. He also said that he would lean into giving students C’s and D’s if no effort was given. I have an issue with this because anyone in their right mind wouldn’t email their students wondering why assignments haven’t been entered if there not due yet, chill.

Then, today, I got another email from the professor stating, “what is wrong with this class? No one has submitted anything.” He just said that we weren’t doing anything less than 24 hours ago, and now he’s reiterating his self again? Seems to me like he’s made a huge mistake. Over the phone, he told me that this was an experiment. Well, in my opinion, let the trial run it’s the course. Don’t micromanage along the way.

And last but not least, I told him that my baby is due to Augst 21st and asked if he needed any documentation from me just in case I’m not able to complete all the assignments. He said,” no, you should be able to submit everything because it’s not due until August 30th.” I agreed with him, but only at 50% because this is my first child. I’m not sure what’s going to happen or how much time i’ll need. Needless to say, I only have to deal with this professor for one month, and i’ll be on to the next class.

Thanks for reading my life story from the past couple of days! Leave a comment if you’d like.!