'It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages'

Being human means never really living in the moment. We constantly crave new and fun experiences to look forward to so that when one event is happening, we aren’t too sad when it ends because we have something else to look forward to. However, there are the odd and rare occasions when we experience something so special, we never want it to end.

On the 22nd July 2021 I had the pleasure of attending my sister Jessica and now brother-in-law Matthew’s wedding. It was a day I’ll never forget.

Instead of merely recapping the day, I’m actually going to take a leaf out of Matt’s book and comprise a series of paragraphs that may not make sense to some, but will to those that matter. When writing his wedding speech Matthew pulled together a random yet amazing set of reasons about why he loves Jess; from complimenting her clumsiness to her kindness, his speech was one I’ll never forget.

I’m going to set the scene a little. Matthew and Jessica’s wedding took place in a small(ish) room which was made up of a beige tiled floor, beautiful wooden panelling on the ceiling and a gorgeous stone monument for the happy couple to stand in front of as they became man and wife. It is an incredible space, but the personal details were by far superior.

Walking down the aisle, Jess was met with a string orchestra playing a very soft and elegant tune. The band was tucked into a corner to ensure all focus was on the bride (rightly so, she looked incredible) and they were playing a song chosen specifically to walk Jess down the aisle. They say that music has the power to heighten everyone’s emotions and after watching my sister walk down the aisle, I’ve never found anything more accurate. But, this isn’t about me. A lot of Matt and Jess’s relationship was built on music, albeit not all of it, but throughout the decade they have been together they have attended various music festivals and during the global pandemic would bring them to their living room. However, that music which played my sister down the aisle will always be the most important. The specific chords and strings that were played, helped to fuel the tears on all of the guests faces, compliment the sparkles on jess’s dress and signal to Matt that his wife was coming.

Flowers, like the music, are also a vital yet not an immediately obvious aspect of a wedding. They sit quietly in people’s hands and around objects as people direct their attention more towards the bride and groom. Flowers decorate and light up the ceremony, reception and the people holding them when arranged in large quantities. Each arrangement of flowers is different, even the bridesmaids bouquets. We all held the same flowers, but some were arranged differently and some flowers seemed more faded in colour and more wilted than others. Metaphorically, our experience of the wedding was similar to the flowers we held in our hands and the flowers that were plastered all over the rooms we occupied. The day before the wedding Matt made the valid point that not a single person knew exactly what was about to happen, but we were all certain how special it was going to be (especially after the last 18 months we’ve all had). Regardless of our status, relations, or moralities, even if we all felt a little wilted or faded before the wedding, when all the guests grouped together and saw the happiness between the bride and the groom, everyone came together and formed the most loving bouquet ever.

Jess and Matt aren’t like many other couples, they show their love for one another in more exclusive and personal ways, rather than saying the obvious three words to each other 24/7. Matt often says that when it comes to knowing how Jess feels you usually have to read between the lines. I’m certain he’d never have it any other way. They’re also a funny pair. Speeches are something that come with every wedding, but speech bingo (I’m guessing) does not. On each table, the couple placed a few bingo cards with common phrases such as ‘my wife and I’, ‘thank you for coming’ and ‘enough from me’, so that when the guests heard them they could cross them off. Out of over 50 guests, nobody won. Everybody was too fixated on what the friends and family had to say about the bride and the groom. Another example of people actually living in the moment.

The groom, the mother of the bride, the best man and the groom’s father all gave exceptional speeches, each one as touching as the last. The mother of the bride’s special mention of a woman that can no longer be with us had us all crying and the best man’s story of how the bride and the groom met had us all laughing. Each speech was personal and unique to the person that delivered it, but one thing they did have in common was pride. Those that gave a speech are an unlikely group to ever be seen in the same room, but as each of them expressed how proud they were of the bride and the groom for finally tying the knot, they filled the room with so much love, the way the brides dress left glitter everywhere she walked.

Just before I wrap this up, I’d like to touch upon the quote that I used to title this piece. It comes from philosopher Fredrick Nietzsche and although it may not seem like the most apt way to describe a pair of newlyweds, Jessica and Matthew are best friends as well as husband and wife, so I have no doubt there married life will be filled with anything other than happiness.

The whole day really felt like a dream and even though I have photographic evidence, a bank transaction containing my hotel room bill and over 100 witnesses to prove otherwise, cheers Matt and Jess, it was the most beautiful dream.