Is being forced into sex during relationship rape?

As a person with links to someone who has been in this situation, I can only say that in my opinion the answer is yes, this is rape! Just because that person is your boyfriend / girlfriend, it doesn't mean that they have the right to have your body 100% of the time.

All relationships must be consensual, let us just say , for example, that you're tired and that your partner initiates sex, you have every right to say no and to be heard, that your partner should respect your wishes, their need to have sex does not matter more then your answer.

I know for a fact some people will feel forced into sex because the partner wont take no for an answer, in many cases the partner feels that they have the right to push you into it. This in all cases is abuse!

I have spoken to a few people about their experiences with sexual coercion and here are a few of the stories, does your story relate?

"One night when my partner came to bed, I was never comfortable with the relationship. He'd always try to have sex with me, and if I said no, he'd still go on, so this time I decided that I'd pretend to be asleep, so maybe he wouldn't try. It just made things worse because he just continued taking what he wanted while I pretended to be asleep, I felt so cheap and used. I didn't tell anyone, and I endured my relationship for several months before I left and shared my story."

"Part of me thought that it was his right to get what he wanted, even though I didn't want to. I didn't tell people in fear that i might be told I was the bad guy because I didn't give him what he needed whenever he wanted to. Because of that, I kept quiet and started to hate sex. By the time I left my relationship without even knowing, I began to have panic attacks while I was having sex with my new partner."

"I had been with my partner for more then 20 years before he got fed up with having no sex life, I had gotten into my 50s and not really in the mood for sex, I was raped at a young age, so sex was always awkward for me. My partner and I hadn't had sex for almost 2 years, he got tired of waiting and with him being bigger than me, he just climbed on me and took what he wanted. He was no longer welcome in our family after that night.

"I had been with my partner for more then 20 years before he got fed up with having no sex life, I had gotten into my 50s and not really in the mood for sex, I was raped at a young age, so sex was always awkward for me. My partner and I hadn't had sex for almost 2 years, he got tired of waiting and with him being bigger than me, he just climbed on me and took what he wanted. He was no longer welcome in our family after that night."

Most individuals don't really realize they are being forced into sex as some people have more subtle ways, for example,

They can make you feel like you owe them, they will use things they do like they brought you a gift so you have to give sex in return.

Give you drugs or alcohol to loosen your inhibitions.

Playing on the fact you are in a relationship for example, "if you loved me you would want sex."

Continues to pressure you after you say no.

Makes you feel threatened or afraid of saying no.

If you or anyone you know are in a relationship that sounds like any of these examples the safest thing to do is leave. I know they could seem like the sweetest person in the world, but what they are doing is sexual abuse, it is best to get out of the relationship before it escalates into something worse.

Please be safe and make sure you spot the red flags.