Humans logo

Immigrant Generation 1.5

Just a girl trying to navigate immigration.

By Melissa in the BluePublished 3 years ago 3 min read
1

My parents have achieved the American Dream. They came from nothing, put themselves through vocational training, and raised 3 children who never had to worry where their university tuition fee came from. Every Republican would be foaming at the mouth to cover the 'model minority' myth my parents have fulfilled, the story of the 'good immigrant'. The only problem? My parents never immigrated.

I grew up in China for 18 years and went to an American international school. Most of my classmates were white American or second-generation Asian immigrants. Living in a tiny Western bubble, I rarely left our neighbourhood, choosing instead to spend my time hanging out on campus. Needless to say, I feel very American. I have a slight Michigander accent and use American slang. I know far more about American politics than any other country. I've visited more states than many of my American friends have (California, New York, New Jersey, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Hawaii, and DC). But I am not American.

In so many ways, I have experienced the life of a second-generation immigrant. I struggle to communicate in my mother tongue and speak English above all else. I listened to slurs spat at me at school because of my eye shape and the ethnic foods I ate. I felt ugly compared to the blonde hair, blue eyed Hollywood actresses. I struggle to exist in China as a citizen—I'm almost always immediately called out for my accent. I exist in the same plane between East and West that many Asian-Americans exist in. Above all, it feels like you're always an outsider, that you don't really belong. A cultural imposter syndrome.

Yet when I landed in London to begin my university studies, I began to understand what it meant to be a first generation immigrant. When one reads immigration stories, a key message that runs through all of them, no matter where they come from, is loneliness. Immigrants leave their families and communities behind and enter a new world where nothing makes sense. You fear doing something wrong and being scapegoated as an immigrant and foreigner. The only thing connecting me with my family is the rare phone call home and the few dishes I managed to learn before I left. Being gen 1.5 gave me an understanding of Western culture but certainly didn't stop me from feeling lonely.

Wikipedia breaks the immigration statuses even further—kids who arrive between the ages of 0-5 are generation 1.75, basically second genners. Kids who arrive in their pre-teens are generation 1.5; their experience mirrors adults in that they may have linguistic problems but assimilate from a young age. And then there's generation 1.25, which I would perhaps fit into in a paper about me. It's described as "Children who arrive in their adolescent years (ages 13–17)...[have] experiences [that] are closer to the first generation of immigrants adults than to the native born second generation." But I reject this structure. The reasonings behind these labels do not fit into my situation. I'm generation 1.5 not because I arrived as a pre-teen but because I was assimilated into the American culture as a child without being in America. I am immigrant generation 1 and 2 but also 1.25 and 1.75 at the same time, so let's just call it 1.5.

There's a term for kids like me—Third Culture Kid. TCKs come from two or more cultures and mesh them together into a third. Sometimes they're kids whose parents brought them overseas to live, and their cultures are their home culture and the culture of their current country. Sometimes they're kids whose parents come from different cultures. But I am still looking for the kids like me, the kids who are in immigrant generation 1.5, who feel lost and without a home.

humanity
1

About the Creator

Melissa in the Blue

hold my hand and we can jump straight into the cold unloving sea

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.