If You Didn't Go to Your Senior Prom, It's Okay

The past few weekends I have been seeing a lot of prom pictures. It's all the pretty girls, with their pretty dresses, their cute dates, and all their friends looking like they're having the time of their lives. It brought me back to the place I was in just a year ago, when I didn't attend my senior prom.

A year ago I was very bummed about not going to my senior prom. I didn't have a group of friends to go with, and the group I could have gone with had my former best friend in it, and my heart just wouldn't be able to handle that. Instead of going to my prom, I went to Denver to celebrate my sister's 21st birthday, so obviously I still had fun that weekend, but when I tell you it was hard to not go, it was hard.

So if you didn't go to your prom this year, or don't plan to, I'm here to tell you it will be okay. The world won't stop spinning, though it feels like it will. The people going that look like they're having so much fun aren't actually having that much fun. And going to the prom does not define who you are.

I know, though. It is extremely hard to look at Instagram, and see how pretty that one girl looks, or how cool everyone seems, or even how insane the venue of the dance is. This is why I had to delete my social media that weekend. I couldn't look at Insta without getting deeply sad about why I wasn't attending. I promise, deleting social media will help you so much. Just take a break from seeing all the prom posts. Because it doesn't matter whether you're going or not, but social media will tell you otherwise. It will feed lies to you that (if you're anywhere near where I was in your mental state) will lower you into a hole that feels like you can't get out of it.

Prom, of course, is fun. However, there is so much more to life outside of high school. It took me (finally) getting out of high school to see that, though, because when I was in high school, I felt like my world could collapse at any moment.

During this time in high school, I did have diagnosed depression and anxiety, and looking back I can now see how the pull of sadness (which I felt like was a weak characteristic) was, in fact, early depression, and the anxiety I felt from picking up my phone was, in fact, anxiety. So if you’re feeling these things, do not stress. You may not have depression or anxiety, but it is a very good idea to keep an eye on your mental health. Understand that you are not weak, and that not attending prom does NOT define you. It doesn’t even make you less cool, less pretty/handsome, or anything less than.

Trust me when I say, I know what it’s like. BUT let me share with you what I got to do instead of attend my senior prom:

A few weeks before prom, I was unsure if I would get asked (shoutout to my guy friends that did ask me, though, love you guys), and unsure if I wanted to go, even if I did get asked. There was too much anxiety surrounding the idea of prom for me that I ultimately decided to go to Denver, Colorado, and celebrate my amazing sister’s birthday. She was turning 21, so obviously it was fun. Luckily, too, all of her friends welcome me every time I come to visit, and the whole weekend was filled with support and encouragement (Shoutout to you people! All the love!).

Even though I was there for Hanna, she knew how hard prom was weighing on me, and she put aside her own selfish desires to make it all about herself, she held me up, making me feel like I was back on earth again. I am forever thankful for a sister that is always there for me–even on her birthday. :)

SO, if you aren’t going to prom this year, or it has come and gone, and you’re still dealing with the messiness of life afterwards, it is okay. You are not alone, and your feelings are valid. You are loved, and you are special.

Xoxo,

Sarah Cay