I've Realized That I Am Already Married To My Partner, Even Though We Are Legally Not Yet Married.

I’ve realised that “marriage” comes way before the wedding. I’ve been in a loving, passionate and fulfilling relationship for a few years now, and even though we are not officially married yet, it feels like we are. And I am enjoying every single day of it.

Being married to someone means being fully committed to the relationship and putting “your relationship ” first, over and over again. I was always a believer in “true love” and I have finally found it.

My true love doesn’t just give me butterflies, but he has turned my life upside down — in a good way! I am blessed to be in a relationship with a man — who is a keeper. Throughout our relationship, I have identified the main attitude changes which have improved our relationship, and I am certain they would improve yours.

Here they are.

1. “It’s You and Me — Approaching the World!”

When you find the man who truly loves and supports you for who you really are, you become invincible. It is essential to be in a relationship with a man who doesn’t only challenge you but who stands beside you no matter what.

This man should not judge or restrain your dreams, instead, he will do all in his power to make your dreams come true. Because your dreams are his, and vice versa.

Sometimes your partner might be busy but when it truly matters, he will drop everything for you and be there for you. Being married means working together in harmony and not against each other, because teamwork brings them closer together.

I’ve realised that the more we help each other in any aspects of our lives, the stronger our bond becomes. Everyone faces difficulties sometimes, don’t let those affect your amazing relationship! Realise that your partner is your extra energy source which provides you with all the tools needed to face the challenges together!

Going through life together as a team gives you a higher chance of winning the game because you aren’t focused on competing against each other. Appreciate your “husband”, cheer him up, love him and share the same end game: win, because there is no alternative.

2. “Our Relationship Comes First Before Your Wish To be Right!”

I’ve learned to adequately prioritize my marriage. I always put my relationship first and do everything in my power to show my partner that I am here to make him happy because that means making “us” happy. I always check in with my partner frequently throughout the day.

Our needs, feelings, and well-being is a priority over other things. We always protect our relationship from being destroyed or damaged. And how can you do that?

By taking time to care about each other’s thoughts, wishes and needs perhaps scheduling time just for the two of you. Prioritizing each other means always making a safe space for your partner to open up, unwind and find comfort in your arms. You need to treat your relationship with respect, grace and love and always give it the attention it requires, and more!

Nobody said it would be easy, but it is worth it!

3. “We Aren’t Perfect, but We Always Try Our Best!”

Many people think that the “one” should be perfect. But let’s be realistic — are you perfect? Your partner can’t be perfect nor you should be asking that of him, after all, he is a human being with strengths and weaknesses just like you.

What makes a partner unique is how much he betters your life. When I’ve met my partner, somehow, I became more accepting of who I am, more resilient, courageous, patient and ultimately myself!

Resilient couples learn from each other and evolve together. I am certain that when things are too stagnant, it isn’t good for your future. Perhaps that’s the reason many couples who get engaged and don’t marry within a year, separate?

As if they were testing the waters to see if the other person would change before tying the knot.

I’ve realized that working on yourself is absolutely necessary for marriage. Relationships are based on a compromise because there is no such thing as a perfect fit between people. But you can fit as close as possible, therefore marriage is a willingness to put in hard work, and evolve together as a team.

And it can be quite fun!

4. “ Love Truly Does Conquers All”

Love can conquer all. If your love is true, pure and unconditional it can transform others. Show me a miserable, negative, jealous, obsessive, or just plain sad person and I will tell you:

“That person was just never loved, nor loved someone in return, yet.”

Love is acceptance. Love is faith. Love is hope.

Love is is what makes everything possible. I am certain that you can train your mind “to love”, but it takes a lot of souls searching. Perhaps “love” can’t overcome everything but a human being, the pursuer of love can overcome any obstacles with strong faith and a compassionate heart.

5. “We are Fearless!”

Fear kills love. Quite often people fear rejections when in a relationship, and are afraid of not “being good enough”. If you let this stupid fear overwhelm you, it will strip you off from everything that you are, and will start acting as someone else, because it will be fear that will drive your actions.

Receiving constant approval from your sweetheart is not true love. You will never be able to change yourself to fit someone else’s expectations and nor you should. Love is unconditional acceptance and being able to be your true self.

Don’t let fear take you away from things that are precious to you. When you are loved you will find the courage to face fears, and you will be not facing them alone, but with your partner by your side.

Fear is the eradication of your life dreams. Let these fears rather wake you up, show you the way to your true self to the brave person who does not feel afraid, but who conquers fear instead. Without fear, you will open your heart and would have a love that is stronger, deeper and brighter.

Love can sometimes hurt and that is okay because it is not about finding the one who won’t hurt you — love is about being able to be vulnerable. It’s about realizing what you need in another person. It’s about being ready to love and be loved.

My marriage teaches me every single day, about who I really am, how to tackle fear, how to trust and how to be compassionate. It has transformed me and I feel full and complete like never before. Because I have found my other half.

Be fearless, because only then you can love and be ready to love in return.

Just like “I do”.

Do you agree?

Thank you for reading.

This article was originally publsihed by me here.