“I Understand,” Might Be All We Need to Say

I woke up this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep — too much on my mind. Instead of tossing and turning which would eventually result in waking my husband and disturbing our dog, I got up. What does one do at 3 A.M.? Why read Facebook, of course.

The thoughts that kept me awake simply enhanced as I scrolled through posts on the many group sites I frequent.

Retired or Thinking Retirement participants discussed how much they enjoyed cruising, followed by wishes for the opportunity to sail away in the near future. Another post shared a rant about how much money they lost in the stock market, revealing the writer’s fears between the lines. A grandma displayed a picture of her granddaughter, who she could not visit, then placed a smiley face at the end of the text when she wrote about the chat they shared via FaceTime earlier in the evening.

Books, Blogs, and Readers and Passion for Books actively shared resources to acquire reading material. Since libraries and bookstores remain closed, access to stories that take them to new worlds and escape from reality were limited. I added a couple of my favorites sites before moving on.

Care for Caregivers members grieved the loss of their face-to-face support system due to social distancing and shared a virtual hug. When I read, “This caregiving of a loved one is difficult, any suggestions for when they become angry and start yelling and throwing things?” I instinctively winced, reflecting on emotions out of my control but realizing support and encouragement would be provided. As I read through the responses, I witnessed offerings of compassion and validation.

Humans are social creatures who not only desire but require connections to others. In this time of isolation, Facebook is providing companionship to the elderly who are quarantined, escapes to the readers who travel to other worlds through books, and lifelines to those in emotional need.

My eyes began to grow heavy but acknowledging sleep remained out of reach, I continued to scan, unaware of what I searched for or were it would lead.

The first post on Parenting Under the Coronavirus Quarantine captured my attention when a mother shared her personal story: 1-week old twins in NICU, 2-year old twins at home, a husband sidelined by illness combined with all the everyday responsibilities of life. To top it off, this day “celebrated” her fifth wedding anniversary. She ended her post with “Here’s to being super mommy! OK vent over!” I believe she will be fine but also felt overwhelming pride in mankind as I read through 180 sympathetic comments posted in response.

Situations in life challenge us, but I pull on the determination of Helen Keller when she said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Until this morning I never truly understood the power of social media. Sure, flaws exist but the potential outweighs the problems. The best way to fight a battle is with an army. Facebook might not be your go-to source but there are many possibilities. Find your support group, reach out, vent, share, and discover your virtual happy place.

My shoulders relaxed and my mind stopped whirling, when I read one man’s response to another who needed to be heard. He simply typed, “We understand.” His two words reminded me we are not alone in this conflict that so profoundly effects our lives. I suggest this be our response when we listen to someone’s frustration, “I understand. Would you like to talk about it?” People feel love when they are heard.

To the retired who fear losing what they have worked their life to achieve, I understand.

To the elderly who miss family and friend, I understand.

To anyone needing food, resources, or a hug, I understand.

To the caregivers who need comfort, I understand.

And to the parents, I so understand.

I may not walk in your shoes, but I understand pain; I understand loss; I understand loneliness. Most of all I understand the power of the human spirit. Together we can!