I Roll My Eyes at 'Communicating'

I’m inspired to write this because there is an overwhelming amount of content online about how to have successful relationships, communicate, trust, blah, blah, blah. Right?

ALL relationships supposedly need open communication. How do we even do this? Where do we start?

As passionate as I am about “communication” I often find myself rolling my eyes at these shallow quotes and advice on how to have a healthy relationship. Why, you ask?

Let me put it this way. Telling the world that we need to “communicate” for a strong relationship is the equivalent of telling someone they need to lay a level foundation and cement to build a strong house.

Do you know how to level ground and lay cement? Nope, me either. Only experts in this field know how to do this, and THAT is my point. Communicating, like other skills is something that needs to be practiced, studied, refined, and executed over and over again.

I will say that I’ve been fortunate enough through years of studies, therapy, and practicing my own self-awareness that I have had this great opportunity to share my findings with you all.

I am no therapist, but I am human and vulnerable to life. I’m also an advocate for transparency and sharing my stories, if it helps ONE person I am satisfied.

What you need to know: Read further.

The reason I go in-depth in all of my posts, and all future posts I hope you’ll have the pleasure to read, is because “communication” is in-depth. There’s no way to get around the complexity of this art, and dealing with yourself, along with other personalities (friendships/relationships). In essence, there is NO clear cut formula that fits every situation. All I am able to offer are TOOLS to help facilitate this idea of “communicating effectively” and the study/refinement is up to each of us to do!

My goal in sharing this information with you is that you’ll take caution when listening or reading “advice” that is shallow and lacks the depth necessary to portray what communicating really is. ALSO, we totally overuse the word “communication”—just as we overuse “love” and “awesome.”

If you haven’t noticed I mention this word nine times in a short five minute read. Did you notice?

We’ve become numb to it, and the point is to highlight the fact that it is too easy to overlook something that actually takes time and practice. So if you feel like you don’t know where to start, follow this site for updates and posts that’ll walk you through this complex social art!

xoxo

Ashley Rodriguez

* BONUS READ: A Poem of Words

“We just had our first fight, friend—and it saddens me deeply. I care about your happiness, and your success, with or without me. I have spoken many words, and missed yours, because I thought about my next say. I didn’t realize you were telling me your heart—your words were at play. We both grabbed this rope lying in the waves of our memories, holding on tight. As the tide rose we drifted apart and held tighter - trying to make it right.

We had our second fight, love—and it saddens me deeply. I care about your happiness, and your success, with or without me. I repeat many words, entrapping yours, because I know already what you’ll say. I didn’t realize I was losing you in my thoughts of a new day. We shared a meal at our table in a silence that sliced through me. I refused still to speak because it is you that doesn’t see. I’m clearing my plate to scare you enough, so you’ll give into my wants of true love. Keeping me safe is my own drink in cup, so shutting you out is how I’ll keep that up.

We had our last fight—and it saddens me deeply. I care about your happiness, and your success, with or without me. I am speechless, and so are you, because we’ll both let our words loose. I see you fully in this mirror, the one that wanted to be right. In this cycle you pushed, pushed, pushed—and now you are alone at night. To be fair, this is me—but could be anyone. So practice now, take hold of your words because this art is already spun.”