I Left My Fiance Right Before Our Wedding Ceremony
I was so undecided, so naive, so... Young and dumb...
I remember still having the rollers in my hair as I sat on my Mother's bed, telling her "Mom... I can't do it.." Her response made me feel so much better. It was so comforting. She simply was telling me something like it's ok don't do it if you don't want to. I could also sense the relief in her. I realized at that moment we both knew it just wasn't time for me to start a family or a life with someone yet.
My ex though, wasn't a horrible guy or anything like that. He just wasn't the right match for me. Some differences can be worked through, but other differences are signs of a pending disaster, and a lifetime of no true peace in the household. I mean, who wants that?
I did apologize for my extremely tacky choice of timing in breaking up with him, but I'm almost certain that he still thought I was a jerk regardless. Although I felt bad, I felt great inside knowing that we didn't already do anything major, like start a family or recite our vows to one another already. I had more than "cold feet" before the wedding. What I had was the realization that I was truly about to make one of the biggest mistakes of my life in a few hours. I was about to settle with someone who was not meant for me. I was about to marry someone who did not fully fit the description of what I thought a true friend should be. And that is more than enough to send me running in the opposite direction, for good.
But like I said, he wasn't a horrible guy. There were just qualities in him that were definitely red flags for me though, to warn me not to make this my life partner, and to let go. People say opposites attract, and they do, but I need someone who is like me. They don't have to be completely like me, not at all, but I need them to be a lot more patient and understanding, towards people in general. There were qualities I could not see eye to eye on at times that really got to my soul at times. So on that day of the wedding, I felt in the pit of my stomach, and my entire being, strongly to not walk into a lifetime of potential misery and constant moral disagreements.
It was so odd that day. It felt as though I was snatched into a really realistic dream, yet it was happening. I was bailing out of a wedding ceremony... MY wedding ceremony! I never thought of me getting married in my early adult years. Well, it turns out I was right, because I didn't.
My friend came over not long after I spoke with my Mom, and I spent the rest of the evening with her. I was so happy to have her to talk to as well on that day. She made me laugh and feel so much better about my choices. I was definitely decided on never going through with the marriage, but there's something very healing about hearing your close ones tell you that you've made the right decision.
Not everyone belongs together. It's just a simple fact of life. The sooner people are aware of this the better. It is better to feel pain for a while from a breakup, than to fake an entire relationship, knowing deep down everyday of your life that you are not with your true chosen one, who is actually compatible with you.