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I Cheated on My Life Partner...

...and I Don’t Regret It for a Second

By Daisy ThunderstrikePublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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I Cheated on My Life Partner...
Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

To speak openly about your most intense feelings, without fear of being judged, is a liberating feeling. It's like someone takes a stone from your soul and helps you take a deep breath. Betrayal in the couple is still considered a taboo subject in society, and many people rush to corner those who dare to admit certain facts.

I don't regret cheating on my husband. Many will never understand why and it is completely okay. It is very important to know that just because you have done something that some consider unforgivable does not mean that you have to feel guilty or regret it.

My marriage was different from the others. I didn't even want to get married. I was young, naive, and forced to do "the right thing." I thought I was happy with my boyfriend, we had a house together, we had decent jobs … I thought this was the natural course of life. On our wedding day, it was the first sign that I was doing something wrong.

I even tried to run away from the event. But I was told that it was normal for me to feel that way and that only "emotions" spoke. I cried as I walked to the Altar, not because I was in love, but because I was afraid. Our wedding night was dull, he fell asleep before we finished our marriage.

a woman sitting on the edge of the bed, looking worriedly to one side, and a man arguing in the background

He controlled every aspect of my life

In the days that followed, he even joked that he would rather go on vacation with his friends. We barely talked on our honeymoon, except when there were other people around and he was holding my hand and pretending to be a young, loving couple. Everything gradually changed.

He has changed a lot. He began to control every aspect of my life. He told me countless times that if I got fat he would leave me. Although, even though I was in very good physical shape when I wanted to eat chocolate, he simply snatched it from my hand. Even in those moments, I still didn't realize what was happening to me.

But if I try to recall certain moments, I realize that there were many "red flags" before we got married.

I hated that I had a higher salary than him, I hated that people were more interested in my career than his, and I hated that I had a nice relationship with my family. I even started calling my mother secretly, just to avoid questions like, "What else did you tell her about us?"

But that didn't stop him. He started checking my phone and asking me what I was talking to certain people I had called. I lived on the edge of affordability.

I deleted all the tables and call history before coming home from work, and this made him even angrier. It wasn't until a few months after the wedding that I realized I didn't love him at all. Worse, I couldn't bear to be around him. I worked overtime and did my best to avoid him because I hated being around him.

The only place I felt really at ease was at the office. I was away from him, surrounded by good people, and I did something I liked. I have always had a beautiful career, and this has helped me stay afloat. But I have never felt so alone and isolated in my life.

The adventure opened my eyes

At that time I had two good friends who were also facing problems as a couple. The girl had already separated from her husband, and the other was in the process of divorcing.

It was a real challenge to keep in touch with them. We set the hours we called and corresponded only with the help of a fake email address. We all had the same terrible experience of toxic relationships.

In time, I began to draw closer to my friend who was still married. I realized that I was in love with someone else, and I wanted to tell my husband how I felt. I started a discussion like that, but he just laughed at me and told me I would never be able to leave him.

I wasn't allowed to. But I was so exhausted from fighting that I just couldn't find my way. However, I had an affair with my friend while I was still married. But I don't regret for a second that I cheated on my life partner.

I am currently married to that man and I have never felt more loved and appreciated. I now have a wonderful marriage, but it took me many hours of therapy to regain my self-confidence.

I found the strength to leave my husband who had been emotionally abusing me for years. My adventure made me realize that I am worthy to receive love and that I can have the chance to be happy again.

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About the Creator

Daisy Thunderstrike

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