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I am a giver AND a taker. And so are you.

And that's ok.

By Treva RawlinsPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Givers and takers.

Society would have us believe that we are one or the other. We are either selfless and always giving to others, or we are self-centered and do not think of anyone's needs but our own. One is bad, the other good. Modern American society seems especially keen on the idea.

But I have found that everyone, every single person on this planet, is both a giver and a taker. Indeed, at any given moment, we are either giving or taking. I do it. And so do you. And that's ok.

We start doing it as toddlers, even infants. A toddler will take a toy away from another child but then share that toy with her best friend. That toddler is a giver and taker in the same moment.

Think about it. How many times have you been late to a get-together with friends? You feel bad about being late, of course, but you say to yourself, "They won't mind." And your friends may be cool with it. But at that moment, you are a taker. You are taking your friends' time away from them. Time that they could be spending with you. Time they could be spending at home with their families. Or taking a class. Or running errands. Your friends are the givers. They are giving their time to you. They are giving you forgiveness for being late. At that moment, your friends are more generous and selfless than you are.

Have you ever borrowed something from your neighbor and not returned it? Taken extra napkins and ketchup packets at a fast food restaurant? Brought home paperclips or a pen from the office? You are a taker of resources.

You are a taker of joy when someone shares an accomplishment and you say that it's nothing and talk about your own achievements.

You are a taker of trust when you betray or lie to someone.

How about when you cut in front of another person while standing in line? Or−and this is a common one−when you talk over someone? You are a taker of space. You are sending the message that you deserve the space that is being held for them. You are also taking respect away from them.

Conversely, you are the giver at times. Think about a time when someone asked you for money. Perhaps it was a family member, or a friend, or even a coworker, and perhaps all she asked for was ten dollars. You gave her twenty. At that moment, you are the giver and she is the taker. At that moment, you are more generous and selfless than she is.

When you sent a sick friend a get well card or visited your cousin in the hospital, you were a giver. When you donated to a charity or volunteered at the animal shelter, you were a giver.

My point is, if you are a human being, you both give and take. As humans, we take oxygen and sustenance from the earth. And all it asks in return is that we keep it clean and healthy, not to take more resources than we need, and to pass along that responsibility to our children.

As human beings, each and every one of us deserves our time and respect. And each of us deserves to take up space in the world. Circumstances, especially during this time of a global pandemic, have required me to delve quite deep into my own behaviors and I have become more mindful of how I interact with others.

Life is about balance. There must be givers for the takers and takers for the givers. Each one of us is both. And that's ok.

humanity
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About the Creator

Treva Rawlins

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