How to Use the Q-Tip Method to Beat the Negatives in Your Life

Someone once said, "Why rush through life? You never get out alive."

Sometimes just getting through the day takes everything you've got.

If you review your daily life, there's a chance more negative happened than positive.

One of the reasons this happens is we often focus more on the negative than the positive.

As wonderful as the positive feels, that high is short-lived.

The negative stay with us much longer and festers as time passes.

One of the ways I've found that help in many circumstances is to use the Q-Tip Method.

I think you'll find it's good for your emotional well-being and help you look at life from a new perspective.

What is the Q-Tip Method?

While Q-Tips are a helpful physical tool, the acronym of Q-Tip can also help you maintain a stable mental personality.

It stands for "Quit Taking It Personally."

Easier said than done — right?

Even when people talk in generalities, we often question, "Are they talking about me when they say that?"

One of my good Facebook liberal friends always says, "It's not all about you."

For many of us, it is all about us.

While we do face life alone, we do need interaction with others.

Humans are pack animals.

We need a social structure of family, friends, and acquaintances to have stable mental health.

We're not only involved in our own lives but often inject ourselves into the lives of others to the point of taking it personally when we're not welcomed into their friend zone with open arms.

But It's Personal

It's hard not to take things personally when they're personally directed at you specifically.

When fired from a job, I remember the comment from my former boss, "It's business — not personal."

It sure seemed personal at the time, but I realized when the dust settled that he was correct.

I worked with a company where the CEO had the rule of always giving "Two warm fuzzes for every cold prickly."

He didn't want his cold, prickly comment to the reprimanded person being the employee's only frame of reference.

The employee needed the two warm fuzzes to balance things out because we take positive comments personally, too.

Negatives are, unfortunately, very common in employee evaluations.

In many cases, the person doing the employee evaluation knows little about the person being evaluated.

The employee's ability is a gray area unless you work side by side.

Most employee evaluations are rooted in hearsay.

One word can derail an employee evaluation, and most readers have probably heard it in their evaluations.

"But" is the great eraser.

"You do A, B, and C great." "but" "D" needs improvement.

The employee dismisses the positive of A-B-C and dwells on the negative D.

Perhaps the evaluator might want to reverse the above for a more positive outcome.

Two warm fuzzies might be a better starting point.

Some Final Thoughts on the Q-Tip Method

Here's another good rule to remember as negatives enter your daily life.

The source of the adverse action or comment must be considered.

For someone to insult you, you must value that person's opinion and give value to their observations.

You and only you provide them with that power over you.

If you're tossing and turning because someone vilified you on social media — Why?

They're passing judgment on you while likely hiding behind a computer screen in their parents' basement.

So, when negative comments come, and they will come, use the Q-Tip Method to neutralize the negative and quit taking it personally.

Take back your power, and have a good day.

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