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How to Distinguish Collective Harassment From Friendly Jokes

by Jones Cain 4 months ago in advice
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And What to Do if You’re Terrified

How to Distinguish Collective Harassment From Friendly Jokes
Photo by Eliott Reyna on Unsplash

Most people believe that the phenomenon called bullying or psychological harassment is found only in schools and kindergartens among children and adolescents. Unfortunately, the situation is different. People of different categories and any age can become the target of aggressive psychological (and sometimes physical) terror, only that intimidation among children is more publicized, and among adults, this subject is passed over in silence.

Who would want to admit that he, an adult, educated, scholar, is collectively terrorized and unable to engage in hostile behavior? Some people do not realize that they are facing a much more serious problem than when "collective relationships are not connected."

First of all, you have to differentiate between jokes between friends and humiliation, which has serious consequences not only on the psychological state of the victim but also on the physical one.

So, you face bullying if you:

You can't talk to someone about topics that are important to you without making fun of them.

In response to a sharp joke, the person is not able to respond with the same coin or an equally caustic joke because it will not be perceived properly. It cannot be about friendship if the person is afraid to behave in the same way as "his friend".

If the person asks him to "stay with us", he will certainly not keep it a secret. When you don't trust the person and you can't ask for it, then it can't even be about friendship.

If the person needs help, but cannot accept the idea of ​​addressing the "friend", then quotes are certainly not superfluous.

If the aggressor does not miss the chance to make a caustic joke about the weaknesses of the victim. A friend will never address painful topics, much less make jokes about them. Especially in the presence of strangers.

If anyone now realizes with horror that he is systematically the target of ridicule and the problem is much more serious, then read on.

What to do if you have been bullied:

Try to approach certain jokes with humor and self-criticism.

Show that they don't affect you, that you're not on the other side of the barricades. But you don't have to be a clown, who will laugh at all his failures - you could smile calmly if those around you laugh and say something like, "Hmm, good joke." The aggressor will get bored of making fun of you if you don't react so painfully.

Do not pour water on the mill and don't feed the aggressor with your emotions.

This is important advice. You don't have to be demonstratively upset, react violently to sharp jokes, close the door demonstratively, make a fuss, and even more so cry in front of everyone.

He does not appeal to morality and even more so does not try to cause the aggressor to be ashamed - this is not an implicit feeling for him. Any manifestation of emotion, in this case, is harmful, because that is the purpose of humiliation - to drive the victim out of his mind.

Become stronger.

Many boys on the school benches begin to practice martial arts, learn to fight, and begin to develop their physical strength, which is correct. They need to get stronger. Do not be afraid to issue this power. It is much more difficult to brutalize a strong man.

You don't have to upset bosses.

Do not try to befriend the leaders of the group in the hope that they will protect you - you may face negligence on their part and you will lose some respect.

In such situations, the bosses are either powerless or prefer to remain neutral. If you join the group of opinion leaders, then you risk flattering yourself.

Try to make friends with those who are not involved in aggression.

First of all, this will make it easier for you to get over the complicated team relationships. Secondly, it is one thing to attack a lonely man and quite another to attack a group. This may stop some of them.

Don't despair.

If none of the above measures have worked, don't despair and change your team - in 90% of cases, this is an effective solution. But this is an extreme measure, which can only be examined after you have made attempts to overcome the situation in other ways.

Yes, it's not easy to find a new job, to get used to it, to get used to it. But many people, who compare the psychological discomfort of these evolving scenarios, see the stress of changing jobs as a lesser evil compared to the endless terror.

When bullying starts, it is very easy to lose your confidence and self-confidence. Persecution is perceived as a dangerous psychological situation in the life of any human being, which is why in this case it is very important to seek outside help.

If you do not have people close to you, then turn to the services of a psychologist, he will support you and give you a series of useful recommendations designed to help you overcome the situation.

We only wish you a good, warm and positive relationship with the people around you.

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Jones Cain

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