How I Survived Heartbreak....

The man nearly destroyed me.

I came home and he was gone! Just like that! He literally packed up his half of our life together, including my step children, and happily waltzed his way back to his ex wife after nearly 10 years with me......

It was gutting, debilitating, and beyond soul-destroying but I had my own children to think about too and my word, he destroyed them as well! He didn't even let them say goodbye......

It's been over a year now and I wanted to tell you how harrowing this journey through heartbreak has been but most of all, I wanted you to know that I survived! I still carry the scars and trust me, I still even cry for what I 'lost' but I am a truly happy, freer, and more fulfilled warrior than I ever was when I was with him.

This is how I picked myself up and you can too......

1) Get out of bed.

Just get out. It doesn't matter if you have nowhere to go, nowhere to be, nothing to look forward to, just get out of bed with the intention of rising for the day. That is all that can be managed in the aftermath and that is ok! If you have to roll yourself out of bed and lay on the floor for a while, sobbing into the clothes he left on his side, then do that, at least you'e out of bed... Do this for a week or two weeks or however long it takes for you to stop thinking about actually getting up before you move on to the next step... this is a vital first step, trust me!

2) Now... go get dressed!

Throwing on a pair of jeans and an actual bra is a victory! Even if you get changed into clean pyjamas, you are still getting dressed! Eventually, you will feel like brushing your hair or getting the fur off your teeth! Slowly but surely, you will make this a morning routine and all of a sudden you will realise that you've been preparing for the day, for days, without even thinking about how hard it is! You have won the battle of mornings, the hardest part of the day!

3) Now you can get out of bed and get dressed, you are ready to call in your soul sisters!

Every woman you have ever called a friend is needed now to come join your army! By email, by phone, by coffee! Gather these girls, tell them you need them, ask them to be there for you, to check up on you etc. These are your warrior women and your support network! The power of women is compounded by millions when gathered for a common goal! The goal is YOU! One of these sisters is going to bring cake or chocolate or ice cream! You should eat it..... even if you don't want to!

4) Now you can leave the house!

Even if you are still a sobbing bubbling mess, you can and need to venture back out into the world! Go for a walk, grab a coffee with one of your friends, go shopping for coffee and milk (for me, coffee is an amazing motivator)... anything! Just spend the day out. The sunshine is your next best healer....

5) Get creative!

Play or learn a musical instrument, paint or sketch a picture, build something, restore a piece of furniture, whatever your heart desires! Even swimming or taking a walk everyday is creating a healthier version of you! A goal, even if it's a small goal will get you seeing the possibilities in life where you could only see darkness before! Scout around garage sales, upgrade your furniture or clean out your house! Just do it, you will be so glad you did!

6) Ok, the hardest part!

This is where you decide to take back your control! He left you and doesn't deserve to have you as a back up plan! Block his number and Facebook, delete his Instagram & Twitter account, remove him from all social platforms! Slam the door girl! Don't let him back in! Get your own bank accounts, remove his name from leases, phone plans, electricity bills, the lot! Take back your power and don't allow yourself to sit around waiting for him to call or text...

Now that's the hardest hurdles and you've jumped over them! I fell flat on my face more times then I was up running but here I am now, killing it, smashing goals & living a life I thought I couldn't survive without him! If I can do it, you can too! Good luck & much love.