How I Learned One of My Former Friends Was a Sociopath and How I Broke Free from Her Grip

We all have had that one friend that our parents warn us about. You know, the friend that really doesn't give a damn about you or your own well-being. I've been there as a young adult. Rebecca was that friend. It took the unnecessary stress of being in her wedding for me to realize that a former friend of mine was a sociopath. Did I find out the hard way? Yes. I found out for the better, which did me a huge favor in the long run. Did she break me? No. Sometimes, bullies and fake friends make you, not break you.

I met Rebecca when I was 15 at a birthday party for my friend Olivia's boyfriend, Jason. Even though she was a year older than me and we went to different high schools, we were still just a couple of teenage girls. She didn't have a lot of friends, same with me. She and I hit it off immediately because we had so much in common. We had a lot of the same friends that were seeing each other. I was seeing Stefan and she was dating my friend Andrew; we doubled quite often, which was fun. We did a lot of girl things, like going to the mall and getting our nails done, which was nice. She and our other friend, Christie, even got me through my tumultuous breakup with Stefan. All was well with Rebecca. At least I thought.

Rebecca and I often went to the same parties, as did Christie, Olivia, Julie, and Eva. We were seen anywhere without each other once in a blue moon. Eva's mom even jokingly called us the "Reservoir Dogs" because we were so inseparable. So it was only natural we stayed within an inch of each other at my current boyfriend Francis's 21st birthday bash; she did say that she wouldn't go if me, Olivia, Christie, Julie, or Eva weren't going. That convinced us to go. The six of us even came up with a strategy that would lead the girls to victory when we were playing a Battle of the Sexes FIFA tournament at Francis's party. In essence, we were each others' personal cheerleaders.

A week later, Rebecca and Andrew had an engagement party, so it was only natural that I and the rest of the girls would go. It didn't hurt that she and Andrew were pretty much made for each other and they had a cute baby Tyler; Francis and I called them "Barbie and Ken" because of how seemingly perfect they were. That night, she even asked me, Eva, Christie, Julie, and Olivia to be in her wedding, alongside her step-siblings. Immediately, the five of us said "Yes," as well as her stepsisters Taylor and Jackie. All of us were over the moon and jumping up and down like 5-year-old kids on Pixie Stix, or as her dad's wife called them, "Kiddie Crack." Everything was seemingly perfect, or so we thought. Four months later, Francis and I started dating. Rebecca was over the moon for me. She felt the same way as Eva, Christie, Olivia, and Julie did: overjoyed. She even showed it, even texting mem "You and Francis are practically made for each other. You just didn't know it a few years back" literally two seconds after Francis announced our relationship on Facebook. We immediately doubled with Andrew and Rebecca a week after the announcement; that Friday night, in fact. We went bowling and did a Battle of the Sexes, with the girls having yet another victory, if you care. The warning signs of her real self were yet to come.

It took me breaking my shoulder to find out about the real Rebecca. When I couldn't go to a fitting for the dress I was supposed to wear, she called me, clearly upset. Not just upset, but enraged. I called her after I got out of my class, only to be chewed out over something that wasn't my fault. She knew I had fractured my shoulder and was in a post-op brace. Instead of showing me empathy, she blamed me. I thought that was just a one-time occurrence. The most insane was yet to come.

Fast forward a few weeks into this insanity. Me, Eva, Christie, and Olivia all decide to shed a few pounds. If you care, a few people dropped out. We post pictures on Facebook showing our hard work and all hell breaks loose within 24 hours. Instead of being happy for us, she goes into a tirade of telling us not to "even think about trying to look better" than her. This would later lead to an absurd amount of rules we can't break; Rebecca had to approve of everything, like where we got our hair or nails done, even if we can even dye our hair. Eva got berated for cutting her hair and getting red highlights in her naturally-red hair, which looked quite pretty. Even though it was at one of the places that was approved of, Eva's hair "still looked better." She would throw a complete tantrum over the simplest sign she wasn't getting her way and say the meanest things; some of the things she would say included "I hope he gets deported" about Eva's boyfriend Julian and Julie's boyfriend Jordan. Her intention was to break us.

To keep us in line, Rebecca would make serious threats of deportation about Francis, Jordan, and Julian because they are from Canada, Turkey, and Uruguay. When bogus threats of deportation didn't work, she resorted to telling us we "should just f*****g kill ourselves." When even that had no results, she resorted to threats of violence and sabotage. Violent threats included her saying things like, "I'll beat you to a bloody pulp with a metal baseball bat" and "I will do it when I say I'll f*****g kill you." Oftentimes, it was me, Olivia, and Eva that took the hardest blows. At dress fittings, all of our bridesmaid dresses were a size or two too small, making some of us feel sick afterwards. That wasn't even the worst of it.

It got to the point where everything made the script of a Turkish soap opera look like Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Tantrums, threats, and sabotage were just the tip of the iceberg. A week before the ceremony, there was the rehearsal dinner and the bachelorette party. The rehearsal dinner was like a nuclear war-zone, with her slapping her dad's wife pretty hard, all because Rebecca was told she was "acting like a spoiled brat during this whole process." Fast forward 48 hours to the evening of the bachelorette party. Instead of possibly having a fun night, all of the girls were walking on thumbtacks. She blatantly knew that Eva and I were only 20 at the time, yet she still held it at a 21-and-older venue. Her excuse? "I can't get my deposit back and I don't care if you get arrested"; that was just another bogus lie to keep us in line.

It came to a head that night when Francis texted us if we wanted to go the bachelor party, which was just video games at Francis's place; Andrew accommodated the fact that Christie's brother Steven was only 15 by doing that. Believe me, it was the best thing for my sanity, as well as all the girls. Battle of the Sexes in everything was better than being yelled at. Yeah, we received voicemails with "Where the f**k are you ugly bitches?!?!" every second, but it was worth it. Fast forward to the next day and the wedding was cancelled. We were free of walking on thumbtacks, but not for long. For the longest time, me, Eva, Christie, and Olivia were subject to remorseless harassment for no real reason. We all thought it was the last of it after we cut her off, but it was far from over.

A month after finally cutting Rebecca off, I realized she had obvious sociopathic tendencies. For starters, she used superficial charm and intelligence, telling someone exactly what they wanna hear. She had no delusions, nor was she ever nervous about anything. Rebecca was unreliable and insincere, as well as extremely dishonest; no lie or accusation was off limits with her. She had no limits for anything, just like she had no affection for Andrew. Rebecca was so narcissistic, it was unbelievable. She knew how to manipulate anyone and everything to get her way. For her actions, she never showed any remorse or empathy. Was she a bully? You can count on it. Rebecca was a sociopath, no lie. Did I suffer? Yes. Did she break me? She didn't, but her presence in my life made me who I am in multiple ways.

Breaking free from her grip wasn't easy to do, but it's what I needed to do to survive. It wasn't just necessary for me, but for all of my friends that put up with her cruel and manipulative sides on a constant basis. All of us may have not been afraid of her, but she knew exactly what strings to pull with everyone. Lucky for her, karma comes around. Last I heard from Francis, Rebecca was possibly facing extortion charges. Extortion and blackmail charges carry a hefty sentence of 15 years. Will she show remorse? No. Will she push the blame of her actions that led to these charges on Andrew? Possibly, because it's expected of a sociopath. She may have made a small part of my young adult years a living hell, but she made me instead of breaking me.

In conclusion, Rebecca's presence in my life shaped a large part of who I am. She was bad news, yeah. Would I wish receiving her cruel and unusual behavior on anybody? Never. She didn't kill me but she made me stronger instead. She didn't break me, but she made me.