How 90% of My Dates Come from Instagram
Why Instagram Is The Best Dating App?
Why Instagram Is The Best Dating App? Instagram is directly responsible for over 90% of my dates in the past 3 years… and it's probably the best dating app out right now… 'But wait, Instagram isn't even a dating app… it's a social network.' Oh my young disciple, if Instagram isn't running your dating life for you, then you're just not using it right.
If you've been around here long enough, you know I've written plenty of stories talking about how I use Instagram to slide in the DMs and get dates all the time, but given the current circumstances, Instagram is more important than ever. It's been my lifeline for keeping my dating life alive and well… and it's actually setting me up to totally crush it once the world goes back to normal.
So today, I'm gonna be breaking down the psychology of why Instagram works and is about to be your new portal to pussy. The simple reason why Instagram works so well for dating is because of a concept from marketing known as "Staying in Front of Your Customers".
Brands like McDonald's, Coca-Cola, and Pepsi spend billions of dollars a year in marketing and advertisements all because they understand the importance of "staying in front of your customers".
What does this mean, exactly?
It means you always want to be top of mind for your customers, you want them to know that your product exists.
How do you do this?
If you're a company like McDonald's, you spend tons of money on advertisements so when your customer thinks about fast food, they'll be more likely to go to McDonald's.
In the context of dating, 'staying in front of your customers' means, you want the girl to know that you're a high-status guy and her best option as a romantic partner. Just like a brand wants to be top of mind for their potential customers, YOU also want to be top of mind for the girls you're trying to date.
You can only date a girl if she knows you exist. She not only needs to know you exist, but she needs to know that you're high value enough so she wants to go out with you.
Here's where Instagram comes in. Every time you post a story or upload a photo, you're staying in front of the girl you're trying to date, you're inserting yourself into her phone screen and saying, 'hey, look at me, I exist… and yes, I am even more badass in person'. All of this is being communicated subconsciously… if she follows you on Instagram, Instagram is putting you on her feed FOR YOU.
How's that for staying in front of your customers, am I right? Haha.
Stay in front of your customers and soon enough, you'll really be staying in front of your dream girl horizontally if you know what I mean, haha. If you're looking for ideas of what stories get the most responses, then I'd recommend posting cute videos of your dog or cat - those stories are babe magnets...
Sounds super cliche but look at all these responses to my manager's story with his dog. Another formula I use for creating stories that get responses is U-F-R. Stories must be Unique-to-you, Funny, and Relatable. If it's unique to you, then it shows off your value and allows girls to get to know you better, building comfort and curiosity.
When it's funny and relatable, it makes it easier to respond to without feeling weird. Any time something is comedic, it eases up the pressure of a situation, and the barrier to talking to someone about things that are funny is way lower. The same applies here for things that are relatable. If it's relatable then it's almost impossible not to reply to it.
Memes that are aligned with your sense of humor are great for this. My manager posted these two memes on his story recently and they got him a ton of good responses from gorgeous girls. Every story you put up, you're giving the girl an opportunity to organically start a convo with you.
This natural-ness that comes with talking to each other on Instagram brings me to the 2nd reason why Instagram is better than all the other dating apps out there. People aren't on Instagram to date - the barrier and guarded-ness that girls have towards guys on dating apps are GONE.
Talking on Instagram is way more comfortable than talking on a dating app where things can feel a bit awkward and higher pressure. When you have a conversation on dating apps, the girl knows that you're talking to her because you find her attractive and you have a dating agenda - which is both a good thing and a bad thing.
Meanwhile, on Instagram, it's not immediately assumed that you're hitting on her. There's no weird pressure or background thought of "oh this guy is just talking to me because he wants to date me." It's less scary to talk to and even meet up with someone who looks like a normal, fun guy from Instagram, as opposed to just meeting up with someone based on their dating profile.
Even if she has better-looking guys asking her out on Tinder, she'll feel more comfortable going out with you if you run your IG game correctly. This is why Instagram is so powerful. It increases your odds of scoring a date SIGNIFICANTLY.
She gets to know you, and see you're a real person… and if she already knows you, she gets to know you even better by keeping up with the badass stuff you do. Stories are another powerful tool because all you have to do is document the fun stuff you're already doing in your life and you'll have girls replying to your stories and starting conversations with you.
This happens almost every day… girls I meet on dating apps or in-person get so intrigued and so interested by my profile, that they're starting conversations with me. This is another reason why Instagram is SO much better than a phone number or simply chatting on dating apps.
It's so much more interactive and natural for you guys to start conversations with one another. All the pressure is gone. This brings me to the 3rd reason why Instagram is so powerful.
In his book, The Like Switch, former FBI agent Jack Schafer describes the four-part formula he used as an agent, for building attraction with people and creating a strong, positive impression. The formula is made up of Frequency Proximity Duration And intensity. If you want someone to like you, you need all four of these. And guess what, Instagram allows you to take advantage of all four components.
Here's an example. Think about the mailman or UPS guy… you see him every day, you maybe say hi every once in a while, but you don't really 'know' him. Yet, you don't feel scared or threatened by him, you feel totally comfortable and probably even think favorably of this stranger who comes right up to your door every day. It's because he achieves all four of these pieces.
When a girl follows you on Instagram you're achieving this comfort and likeability - thanks to this formula. She knows more about you than any other guy who messages her cold. Even if it doesn't seem like it, subconsciously she can feel more comfortable around you. Your Instagram gives her a more complete picture of who you are! She can see you're normal, and not a creep. Frequency and proximity are CRUCIAL for comfort. Following each other is digital proximity. Even if you don't know someone well but you see them often enough over a certain duration, you start to let your guard down.
By posting stories and posts that pop up on her feed, you're achieving frequency. She's seeing you and your awesome life constantly. You feel closer and more comfortable with someone if you follow them on IG than if you didn't. And in terms of intensity, just look at these reactions. Yes, that's right.
Girls replying to my manager, Benjamin's stories with great reactions… laughing at what he's doing and even starting conversations with him, totally unprompted… all because he posted a story of something that made them laugh or piqued their interest.
If you're trying to keep the momentum going with a girl you're already kind of talking to, I recommend sending funny memes or posts related to an inside joke or something you've talked about before.