Home

Somewhere down the line, home became more than a physical address to me;

It became a feeling, a smell, a state of mind, an internal piece of peace.

A silent whisper, a faint smile, even a distant memory.

Home is a place where I am not trapped by my surroundings but free to soar throughout the world with no anchors in site.

I find home in the clouds, as I embrace those who have moved on from this life watching over me and guiding my steps.

I find home in the hope that can be passed to one of my fosters in need of love.

I extend home as I move through life with compassion and an understanding that in times of pain and chaos, I can be a light.

I find that home dwells where there is a sense of safety present.

Feeling safe to feel, to be, to see, to love.

Home is where I find myself again.

After daily battles with what this life has to offer, I find my way back to who I am at my core,

and find warmth in remembering who I am to me and the world around me.

I find that I am home to so many in my path.

I walk through this Earth creating homes with my words, with my touch, my gaze, my sight, and with my work.

I build homes with broken hands and a tainted heart, but the most beautiful you could ever dream of.

Because these hands build from a memory.

A memory of what was longed for long ago.

The home I longed for was warm.

The home I longed for was kind.

The home I longed for was loving.

The home I longed for was forgiving.

The home I longed for encouraged me.

The home I longed for protected me.

The home I longed for provided for me.

The home I longed for supported me.

The home I longed for defended me.

The home I longed for saw me.

The home I longed for knew me.

The home I longed for was me.

The place I so desperately needed as a child was being molded inside me from all that I lacked.

Once I found it, once I felt it, I knew I had to share it.

For, my home is not a home, if it is closed off to others.

So I build. As I work on myself and find new ways to connect with my inner child, I build.

As I forgive myself for past mistakes, I build.

As I cast aside my ego to be present in times of discomfort, I build.

As I extend myself to be of service, even when I don’t want to, I build.

As I learn to advocate for my wants and needs without feeling guilty, I build.

Brick by brick, piece by piece, I continue to build until all I have left is what is leftover.

I extend a sense of home out of the overflow that I have built within myself.

I wasn't longing for a home, so that I can shutter myself from the world.

I was longing for a home, so I had a place to feel prepared for the world.

In all that I was searching for, after all that life had to instill,

I never knew that the home I longed for as a child, was my responsibility to build.