Today I want you to think about everything you are instead of everything you are. ”~ Unknown
If you are a sensitive person like me, you may think that empathy is a problem. Especially when it comes to love and relationships.
Perhaps you have been called “too sympathetic” by your partner or parent. Maybe you are overly anxious or reacting too strongly to things or taking things personally that do not bother your partner, or you are easily upset or bored too often, or you feel the urge to be more than you think you should be in a healthy relationship.
If so, don't believe that he is being overly sensitive.
Now, empathy can cause problems in our relationships when we act in ignorance and feel kind. That often brings with it serious aspects of empathy.
I am well aware of this. Not knowing that I was a very sensitive person, and not understanding how I worked with my emotions, was the main reason why my first marriage ended in divorce.
And even before that, most of my life I thought something was wrong with me because of what I now see as my genetic predisposition to greater sensitivity.
I feel the same way about most of the sensitive women I talk to.
But I would like to blurt out that idea in its head. Because high sensitivity is often misunderstood and can be completely overlooked. Especially when it comes to marriage and intimacy.
Think about it: What do most women want most in their relationship?
They want their partner to pay close attention to them. To understand more about what is happening to them. To be more accountable in their words and deeds. To be more tender with them. Getting to know them better.
I always wanted my first husband to be deep with me. He cares more and is more empathetic. More contact with him and his feelings…
If you, too, would like more of the above in your relationship, then you want more empathy. All of those things are what it means to be “compassionate”.
Sensitivity is defined as: reconciliation, and cognition, caring, empathy, empathy, empathy, understanding, understanding, understanding, responsiveness, living…
Empathy, in fact, is what we need most in our relationship, not less. It is an asset in love.
And if you are also a sensitive person, you are designed to connect you. Bringing all that sweet water into your relationship.
If you are born HSP, it is a cause for celebration. We are made for love.
Once we have done our job of developing the best features and managing the most challenging parts of the feature, we gain access to what we need to have the depth, communication, understanding, love, and interest we most need with our partner.
In other words, we grow up to be the best example of being in a loving relationship - one insensitive person should be willing to look.
Well, there are unhealthy ways in which our feature can be manifested. Ways that lead to more injury and struggle than agreeing with love in a relationship. These "negative" features (such as "touch") are only expressed if we have not learned how to work with our sensitivity.
When we do, the "negative" aspects fall apart, leaving us with all the positive aspects needed for the healing and prosperity of relationships - even the healing of our planet!
A lot of things keep us playing the negative aspects, but I’ve found that the biggest thing to believe in old, outdated (and frankly) judgments about empathy is bad. Because it leads us to criticize ourselves and to feel bad about who we are.
When we reprimand and demean ourselves for our empathy, we feel humiliated, closed, and negative.