Him, Her, and the Distance

Relationships are a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, they are never easy, they will always come with problems, and only time will tell us if things will work, or not.

My relationship is a very good example of one that contains happiness, sadness, stress and so much more. My boyfriend comes from India, and I am from Canada. We have been together for 3 years, and within 3 months it will be 4 years for us.

Long distance relationships are very different, compared to the kind of relationship where both partners are together, not just mentally and emotionally, but physically as well. And for distant relationships, being together physically can be a huge challenge.

My relationship is a perfect example of that, simply because we have been trying more than once to be together and, finally, he is getting closer and closer to having all the tools, and the only thing missing now is enough money. I am working as hard as I can, but it’s going to be a bumpy road.

Our relationship together started out as beautiful as any other kind. We were just starting to become young adults, and we talked every single day and night, talking about anything we could think of.

But, then it had its ugly sides too; from arguing about pointless things, to admitting when we did something wrong and feeling hurt about it. There were many times we almost ended things, and I can’t even begin to say how much it scared me.

Our cultures and lifestyles are very, very different; from the way we are brought up, to how things are expected to be done. In India, many families follow the tradition of arranged marriages.

My partner, however, was fortunate enough to have parents that allowed him to find love on his own. But, of course, things didn’t sit well with them when they found out that their own son, was courting a white lady.

Some families will be accepting and like you right away, but there are still some families, all over the country, that will look at you and wonder why their child had to pick you. I can’t even begin to say how many times they’ve tried to stop our relationship, from arranging a manipulation, to forcing their own son to block me.

My worst nightmare in this relationship, though, was the first two manipulations that I ever experienced. They both came from Indian women who envied that I was with a man as handsome as my partner.

Being tricked into thinking your own partner is engaged to someone else, or that he is actually dating someone else, is completely damaging; and after those two traumatic experiences, I developed a fear that it would happen again and again.

Honestly though, since I began dating him, he did something that really turned my life around. I used to talk to just anyone, and then he gave me the kick in the ass I needed, and then things were completely different from then on.

I look back and I acknowledge how most of my distant relationships failed, not just because we didn’t have the things we needed for it to work, but also because of my own actions. Of course, it wasn’t entirely my own fault, but my actions, and the fact we weren’t really prepared for anything, really described the reason they all failed.

But, this relationship is truly something different. I’ve always been stuck with the two year pattern and now, here we are on year three, and only 3 months away from it being year 4.

The idea of me being so far apart from the one I love used to scare me a lot. But, as I grew up, I learned that if two people love each other enough, then distance no longer matters.

The main thing to know is: long distance relationships are crazy, beautiful, and very tough. But that’s not to say they won’t ever work. And, despite all the obstacles this kind of relationship contains, there’s still a chance for it to become even more beautiful then it already is.