Here's Why You Leave University As A Different Individual

Everyone changes. It's inevitable. But what does university teach you? It doesn't just teach you about your course. There are a plethora of other things beyond your course that you will learn about. These things will change you. Before I became a student I had a schema of how and what university would be like, but I never thought about how it would shape me into the person I am today.

As a 17-year-old who was excited to move away from home and dive into new exciting things, I was immature and just wanted to go with the flow. I imagined how it would be so cool to have my own room, make new friends, and the FREEDOM! However, as my first year passed (very, very quickly) I soon realised I was entering my second year with a very different mindset and perspective as well as a different set of expectations.

"With freedom comes great responsibility" Eleanor Roosevelt

Life can be really shitty

From not getting the grade you wanted to being told to, "f*** off," when all you did was offer them kindness, life can be so unfair. You are now on your own - in a new place, you meet people you will be friends with for life with and people you can't stand. As a kid, our parents would protect us from any type of harm, but nothing mum and dad do can protect you from rude, malicious people.

You'll meet people that you love one second and then hate the next second; you'll meet people who turn on you or, simply just don't care for you. All this can be so frustrating, but how you deal with it is what will change you. Whenever you feel like life is unfair and against you, just remind yourself that you do not have control of everything. Acknowledge this, accept it and you'll soon feel much more happier. What's the point of being stressed and reacting negatively to things you can't control?! You'll only lose your mind!

University does test you. Once you leave you will no longer give a shit about a lot of things. You've seen it all before and will just continue doing you!

You choose your happiness

I never used to believe in this saying. What about those who suffer from depression? However, what I mean by this is that you choose what and who you let in your life and what/who doesn't. Only you are your source of happiness and only yourself will always, 100% have your own back, so step up and make a change for the better.

You have plenty of friends and people in your life and it's great! But, you still feel lonely, stressed and confused about a lot of things. The question to ask yourself is, "Are they genuine and do they add value to your life?" If the answer is no, it's time to let go. You choose your happiness.

University challenges you in many different ways and you're going to have to be there for yourself! You may find yourself being challenged by others and you're going to have to be strong enough and assertive enough to stand your ground. You can't rely on people, sometimes not even your friends. I learned this the hard way. I relied on my boyfriend to help me pick myself back up when I was in a bad mood, or when I had no one; pretty much for a lot of things! He was the only one that understood me and he did care for me and always had my back. But, life happened and we broke up. I didn't know what to do in the end. Only I could crawl out of that dark hole that consumed my happiness. I started to think positively and worked on myself a lot.

You can never work around others, you can't expect people to react or behave or treat you in the way you may anticipate them to. You're the only one that can make the change around others, in the end, this will lift your mood and happiness all around. You have to be there for yourself. You are the one who's going to be able to change your mindset, behaviours, and actions towards others behaviours and actions towards you. You can't live life doing things for people at the expense of your own happiness, live like you!

Try everything

At university you will be placed in situations that will really test you. You will experience things that may challenge your values, opinions, and beliefs. You just have to be brave enough to open up your mind and listen to others. You share the world with so many people, so try everything. This helps to open up your mind and to understand others on a deeper level.

Before I became a university student I lacked self-confidence, I wouldn't even be writing this article if we re-winded back to 2016. However, since I became a student and my eyes were opened to the opportunities that could improve and better me, I challenged myself. Through this I gained a lot of confidence!

Although I didn't want to apply for jobs that didn't appeal to me, I was forced to due to my financial situation. I managed to land myself a job as a university ambassador despite being a shy and anxious girl. This really pushed me out my comfort zone, but I had no choice! Turns out, this challenge built my confidence and I actually really enjoyed the job.

Trying even little things can make a difference. It'll help you determine what you like and don't like; what you would do again and don't want to! It opens up a whole other world of options, helping you make an informed decision in future regarding careers, hobbies, and life! I tried out a new job, but it could be a new society, hobby, or interest for you.

If you don't try, how do you know if it'll work for you?

So...

I came into university with very few ideas about how the world worked. I was naive and didn't anticipate the pressures of real life and its effects on my happiness and relationships. Two years on I am more confident, open, and happier.

What would you say has changed you for the better?