Haunted Memories

The powers that be has clouded the chance, the ability to find if what was is the truth at hand. The choice you made to keep your happiness has broken apart and left you without it. Your heart gets reminded of the memories that kept you intact, the voice of reason that told you to move on even today. You felt so much pleasure, happiness to stay, the darkness that stayed, kept you hurting even when you ignored the red flags and stayed.

You wish and you wish to keep it together, the moments come up randomly, and hope you can still be together. We want to say sorry for the trouble we have been through, but we don't know what is true and the reality our mentors say is real. Questioning reality has been a constant, not knowing if you would hurt me in the end or take advantage of my kindness.

Your life needs to grow and so does you, your mind keeps racing, questioning if you did the right thing. All the advice points towards unhealthy, but at the end of the day, you came to understand that things are right for today. You wonder if you will ever meet the one that you chose to part ways with because they made you feel like you're the one that made certain things, okay.

You hope and you dream if everything came to pass because you still wish that what you did was right at last. Your thoughts and your dreams are stuck on haunted memories, thinking of the positives that make you feel free. The moments shared and the times that felt free, are overlooked by the darkness that left you feeling unhealthy and unease. Separated from the care you feel distressed and distant,  we lived so far that we can't fight what made us resistant. The sacrifice shared made us close, you wish we would come back together because I miss you so much. 

 Your darkness was too much, for me to bare. I tried to be strong so we both won't be overbared. Your life was hard and so was mine, We lifted each other up, until your dark essence, made me feel unsheltered. I cared for you greatly and I put my heart on the line, but I shot myself in the foot because others influenced my decline. I didn't see a future because what was lacking wasn't there, you tried to fit in but my heart couldn't bear it.

You showed me promise and I gave you the truth, You were quick to say the words, I didn't know what was it. I wish to be more but fear what comes of it. Every day is the same question, what you feel is what happens, when a breakup is real. You fight for peace, in search of self-love, not knowing how to care, when you prioritize mental health and self above. These haunted memories that feel so happy, left behind some questioning darkness that made me feel empty. You wish to love when you don't know what it is, to feel so deeply because the fight became a bunch of what-ifs.

I hope to find happiness for both of us that feels because we are stuck in confusion that what we did was unreal. I don't know what to do, thinking if what we experienced is what was meant. I know the words I wanted to say, what others said made us unhealthy or nonreal. I confided in others because it's the right thing to do, unknown to the fact, that your love is what is real. Thoughts every day clouded your mind, because you meant so much, in the times of decline.

Confused about how to move on because you matter so much, the things that have gone through keeping thinking of what if, it was going through with you. Words have been said and life has been altered, now we have to stick to our guns and be mature with what we altered. We want to say sorry but don't regret the love, that we both went through, even though it was never sent. Care and love were in it for sure, in hopes they understand what happened was real. These haunted memories make us feel, have our wish, that what really needs to be done, is to love ourselves more than be together as one.