Guide to Parenting Adults With Mental Illness

Millions of people are living with mental health disorders. According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), the onset of mental illness begins by age 14 in 50% of people, and 75% by age 25, increasing significantly within the last decade alone.1 Though it’s normal to experience some growing pains when merging into adulthood, the transition can be even more difficult when mental health problems are involved. For parents of mentally ill adults, the subsequent struggles can be difficult to manage. If your son or daughter is coping with depression or a similar disorder, here's a guide to parenting adults with mental illness that can help.

Tips for Parents of Mentally Ill Adults: How to Cope

As a parent of an adult, it can be difficult to know when to get involved and how involved you should be in their decision-making. This can be especially challenging when it comes to their mental health. Like any good parent, you simply want what’s best for your child, and no matter how old they are, they’ll always be your baby. Fortunately, while it can be hard to find the balance between being overly involved and not being involved enough, it’s possible.

If your son or daughter is battling a mental health disorder, below are some tips for parenting adults with mental illness that can help you avoid harmful behaviors like enabling and codependency and truly be there for them.

Educate Yourself on Mental Illness

Especially if you’ve never experienced mental illness, it can be difficult to empathize with your son or daughter concerning their mental health. You may feel frustrated when their depression keeps them in bed all day or when their anxiety causes them to seek your constant reassurance. This frustration, while understandable, can make your child feel ashamed and less willing to open up to you about their struggles.

Because this frustration stems from a lack of understanding, a great way to support your mentally ill child is to educate yourself about their disorder. Speak to your doctor, find accredited medical texts, read memoirs, or get your hands on anything you can concerning the disorder your adult child has to better prepare yourself to be there for them.

Avoid Being Judgmental

This is where balance comes in. Always be willing to listen to your child, but ask questions and offer advice only when they ask for it. It can be frustrating and overwhelming to constantly receive unsolicited advice. It’s also okay to not know what to say to your child when they express themselves. For instance, if your son or daughter is talking about their struggles with depression and you’re not sure how to respond, you can simply say, “I’m sorry I don’t know exactly how you’re feeling, but I’m here to listen and support you in any way I can.”

Be sure to avoid judgmental language, such as language that implies they’re to blame for their disorder, or that they’re being dramatic or aren’t “doing enough” to combat their symptoms. Mental illness is a serious matter that could worsen over time without proper care and contribute to substance abuse, addiction, and even suicide. While these things aren’t inevitable, always keep them in mind when speaking with your adult child about their mental health.

Uplift Them

Uplift your child by reminding them of your support and their ability to get better. Along with words of affirmation, you can also take some steps to aid in their recovery. Some important things you can discuss and help your child with include:

• Avoiding and/or treating substance abuse
• Coping with college stress
• Finding a medical provider
• Finding counseling and mental health resources
• Going to doctor appointments and therapy sessions
• Maintaining proper diet and exercise
• Managing medications and refills
• Managing sleep habits
• Self-medicating
• Sustaining positive lifestyle habits

Remember to discuss these things with your child and ask them if they’d like your active support in these matters. ..

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